Dont hunt dolphins. Honestly man. Dumb shit.
You know you've been away from live journal too long when you forget your password. From my opening sentence you can assume that I did indeed forget my password, and that I went through an endless succession of different words that may or not be the one single word which I have designated to be my password. However, as you are reading this, you are probably thinking to yourself.."wait a minute.. if he couldn't find his password, how is he ranting to me on this internet blog about how he forgot his password?" The answer is simple. I did not forget my password. I just wasted 30-45 seconds of your life. Let me revel in my success for a few more moments... yes... these seconds could be put to much better use. In the time it takes you to read this, you could plant a flower. You could go for a walk or eat a healthy snack. Alas, I have trapped you here in my ghastly web of deceit. You are going nowehere. I dont think you could leave now if you tried. I have sucked you in and ONLY I may release you. But before I let you go because I cannot go on forever about nothing...that would be mean... I have to ask a favor of you. The next time you see me, can you please buy me something cool? Thatd be swell. You're free to go.
Don't get me wrong. I really like having longer hair. But the thing that really gets to me is how much static electricity flows through me everyday. Whenever I take off my shirt..ope static. Staticy hair is annoying for many reasons. First of all.. some of your hair sticks to your head like a german shepard to the hood of a minivan. Some of it always stands up in random directions that really piss me off. There is no way to look cool when you have all that charge built up. And, some folks probably spend alot of time in the bathroom getting their hair all nice and perfect. Then they decide they dont want to wear the purple sweater ontop of the bright pink sundress... because the weather was gorgeous and the dress really brings out their eyes. And before you know it.. BAM. All that work in the lavatory... for nothing. Thats like a German wearing a suit walking into a Synagogue.. and saying... "man this suit is uncomfortable.. i should take it off to reveal a giant swastica and hitler smiley face sticker." So uncool.
Did you ever wish something completely unpredictable, random, and life changing would happen to you? I know I sure do. If I was God, I would so do this to some poor person. First of all, I'd conveniently have them walking home from the market, (and it has to be the market. not a grocery store. a fucking market) and as they approach their mediocre apartment, I'd have the door fling wide open with a gigantic burst of powerful supernatural cyclone force winds and have one lone duck billed platypus sitting there. And then the platypus would say... "check the oven...i made you a cupcake."
No offense but Im creeped out by old people. That kinda blows severely burned testicles too, because I'm going to be an ol' geezer one day. I will creep myself out.
I wish it could be you forever.
V
Don't get me wrong. I really like having longer hair. But the thing that really gets to me is how much static electricity flows through me everyday. Whenever I take off my shirt..ope static. Staticy hair is annoying for many reasons. First of all.. some of your hair sticks to your head like a german shepard to the hood of a minivan. Some of it always stands up in random directions that really piss me off. There is no way to look cool when you have all that charge built up. And, some folks probably spend alot of time in the bathroom getting their hair all nice and perfect. Then they decide they dont want to wear the purple sweater ontop of the bright pink sundress... because the weather was gorgeous and the dress really brings out their eyes. And before you know it.. BAM. All that work in the lavatory... for nothing. Thats like a German wearing a suit walking into a Synagogue.. and saying... "man this suit is uncomfortable.. i should take it off to reveal a giant swastica and hitler smiley face sticker." So uncool.
Did you ever wish something completely unpredictable, random, and life changing would happen to you? I know I sure do. If I was God, I would so do this to some poor person. First of all, I'd conveniently have them walking home from the market, (and it has to be the market. not a grocery store. a fucking market) and as they approach their mediocre apartment, I'd have the door fling wide open with a gigantic burst of powerful supernatural cyclone force winds and have one lone duck billed platypus sitting there. And then the platypus would say... "check the oven...i made you a cupcake."
No offense but Im creeped out by old people. That kinda blows severely burned testicles too, because I'm going to be an ol' geezer one day. I will creep myself out.
I wish it could be you forever.
V