Your Name Means 'God Is My Judge'. But Ask Me What I Think Of You, Please...
One day everything is so good
You have everything under control and you feel so at peace. You don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, but you don't feel the NEED to know.
And then tomorrow comes. And trouble looks like a Welsh duchess and you realize that this person, whom you have never met, can indeed, after months of absence, make you feel completely attacked and completely helpless.
I'm not a very good competitor. I'd really rather you won, and I got to clap for you than tie your shoe laces together and point and laugh when I beat you. I do not get off what so ever on being the best or first. Draws too much attention to one-self in a way I don't feel comfortable with. Just not how my gears grind. In a "relationship" of any kind, you theoretically should never feel you have to compete. You tell me one person who has never felt jealousy.... and I'll tell you where you can get some prime seaside realty in Kansas.
I'm just weighing my options and waiting at this point. Is it worth it?? Most days yes....a number of days no... I know I complain about this a lot, and some of you must be thinking.... "oh my word, Jackie, just get over this already and be done with it, not that hard" Well. All I know, is that I've tried to get over it many times, and trying to force myself to let go has caused way more rifts and problems than just waiting for this to run it's course. So, I'm going this way until the next path appears, whomever that may involve.
Yeah that's good.
Going home tomorrow for my brother's B-day on sunday. I'll be back on Monday, mid-day.
It's graduation weekend, which I really don't like for a million reasons, but whatever. Congrats 2006, right?!!
You have everything under control and you feel so at peace. You don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, but you don't feel the NEED to know.
And then tomorrow comes. And trouble looks like a Welsh duchess and you realize that this person, whom you have never met, can indeed, after months of absence, make you feel completely attacked and completely helpless.
I'm not a very good competitor. I'd really rather you won, and I got to clap for you than tie your shoe laces together and point and laugh when I beat you. I do not get off what so ever on being the best or first. Draws too much attention to one-self in a way I don't feel comfortable with. Just not how my gears grind. In a "relationship" of any kind, you theoretically should never feel you have to compete. You tell me one person who has never felt jealousy.... and I'll tell you where you can get some prime seaside realty in Kansas.
I'm just weighing my options and waiting at this point. Is it worth it?? Most days yes....a number of days no... I know I complain about this a lot, and some of you must be thinking.... "oh my word, Jackie, just get over this already and be done with it, not that hard" Well. All I know, is that I've tried to get over it many times, and trying to force myself to let go has caused way more rifts and problems than just waiting for this to run it's course. So, I'm going this way until the next path appears, whomever that may involve.
Yeah that's good.
Going home tomorrow for my brother's B-day on sunday. I'll be back on Monday, mid-day.
It's graduation weekend, which I really don't like for a million reasons, but whatever. Congrats 2006, right?!!