Transgressions (9/14+Epilogue)

[jaceni]

This photo art was given to me some time ago by Tiaral from asianfanfics for any purpose I so choose. ^_^ I choose it as my photo for this fic (that’s why it doesn’t have the name of the fic like all my other posters) but I think it goes with the overall story. Loved it and finally get to use it! THANK YOU TIARAL!

Title: Transgressions
Author jaceni
Pairing: Minjae, minor onesided yunjae appearance, OC pairing
Genre: Angst, Romance, humor, drama, AU
Rating: NC-17 (some parts just PG-16, but since it’s an incest fic I’ve labeled it NC17)
Warning: ACTUAL INCEST(don't say you weren't warned. If this offends you, please don't read.), yaoi, smut, reluctance, Min!seme, Jae!uke, might be unbelievable?, in a world where innocence can be preserved at a later age than today's youth, minors, etc. Corny?, definitely doses of fluffy moments… Oh, and it only really has 2 scenes that could classify as smut scenes or something as close to it as possible. I’ll let you guess at when it happens. XD Think that's it. ^^
Length: Chaptered (9/14+Epilogue)
Beta: enragedsilver
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters of this story or profit from this story. Any similarity to a story already created is accidental. Please let me know if this story is too much like another you might have read, that way I’m aware of it. ^.^ Ya know, there’s only so many plots out there that won’t clash with other stories from other fandoms, so bare that in mind when reading.

Summary: Who said loving your brother like this was bad? Who were they to draw the line to what was good or bad? They'd shared a womb and so much more... so why couldn't they... no, it was wrong. He shouldn't be thinking this...

A/N: I escaped!!! ^__________^ Okay, for those of you not up to date I have relatives over and they've been breathing down my neck for the better part of this week. I was able to escape today and am hopping to have a chance to update three chapters. The thing is, I usually look over the chapter before posting to make sure I didn't do a mistake somewhere and adding things when relevant, therefore where the hold up happens. I'm looking over chapter 10 right now so hopefully I can get that out pretty soon. I won't be posting to a community yet, but will once all the chapter's I'm posting are up. Thanks for being so patient!!! =D See you guys later.

Previous chapter

-Chapter 9-

It was evening of the next day and it seemed that looking at each other in the eyes was much more difficult than they thought possible. Both brothers had avoided each other's gaze and barely talked to each other. Changmin had thought that he'd be able to find a quick solution, but so far he hadn't been able to think of anything that would help them both out and the hours were ticking by… he'd officially lost a day and a half.

He was cooking dinner when Jaejoong entered the kitchen and they both tensed at the same time. They didn't know why, but for some reason the air felt a little charged whenever they were in the same room it seemed (at least the few times they'd been together at least). Changmin couldn't place why, but he supposed that knowing your brother had seen you jerk off could be a big factor in feeling awkward in his presence. Changmin supposed that now they were completely even in that department, he ignored the voice that said his brother had actually seen him and not just heard him… he shook out of those thoughts and tried to dispel the awkward air about them.

"Hi… Jae…" he tentatively said as he kept stirring the vegetables he was steaming. He wasn't sure what he could say to break this. "Um… are you hungry?"

"Y-yes." Promptly after he heard that he heard the chair to the kitchen table dragging and assumed Jaejoong had sat down already.

"The food is almost ready…" He said softly. He cleared his throat for some reason and then closed his eyes, gritting his teeth as he wondered why he was so awkward about this. He'd told him to do it, so why couldn't he just pass this and act as if nothing had changed?

"Ok." Jae said shyly and Changmin could feel the nervousness as if it were his own. Why was Jae so nervous?

Changmin said nothing more as they both sat down to eat. He couldn't remember ever feeling this awkward in front of his brother before, not even when the whole truth came out about what Jae was experiencing. He looked up once and promptly glanced away when he saw Jaejoong looking at him so intensely that it made him uncomfortable.

***

'Should I say it, should I not say it, should I say it, should I not-' Jaejoong stopped abruptly with his train of thought when he realized that Changmin had looked at him straight in the eyes and then glanced away again looking slightly flustered. He'd just been caught staring. He felt himself blush as he looked away quickly. He'd been debating whether he should say what he'd thought about or whether he should keep it to himself. What he was about to suggest was something that would definitely cross a line he'd never thought he'd cross ever in his life and that scared him as much as cause something else to blossom in his chest… something he was afraid to label at the moment. As he took another tasteless bite of his food, he thought back to his musings from yesterday.

-Flashback (yesterday)-

Jaejoong paced his room, not wanting to go out and risk meeting his twin after their awkward lunch today. It seemed that even though he tried, he couldn't shake the images he'd imaged just before he'd let go and had his first self induced orgasm. Of course now he couldn't even look at him. He sighed and sat down on his bed. He just wanted to forget this ever happened and just go back to the days in which his big brother was just his big brother. One that he loved and that didn't cause these sensations to plague him.

He lied down and thought back to everything he knew about the cases that he'd read about. He fought the conclusion he'd arrived to earlier today. What if he was wrong? What if instead of helping them out, what he thought of made the situation worst? But then again, how much worst could it be?

And what is it that he thought of? Well, he believed that in order for them to be able to get over this bump on the road and lead normal lives was to… he blushed as he thought about it. The only way for them to get use to the feeling would be for them to actually get use to the feeling. What he meant was for them to experience it as much and as quickly as possible in order to dilute the sensation and get to a point where it'd be normal to experience that without reacting to it. To train their stamina and hopefully one day not get a hard on when their counterpart was enjoying themselves in a solo (or accompanied) session.

Jaejoong blushed again at that. Sure they'd always know when the other was doing that, but at least it wouldn't interfere with their everyday life… at least that was the goal. The problem now was how to bring it up to Changmin.

That's why every time they'd been in the same room Jaejoong would flee to the next one in order to not blurt out what he wanted to say before he got a chance to think of a way to say it. So instead, he'd avoided his brother as much as possible and hoped that tomorrow would bring inspiration on how to delicately propose his solution to the problem.

-End flashback-

He finally had worked up the courage and a way to let his brother know what he believed the solution was, but now faced with the possibility he grew nervous once more and almost choked on the bite he'd recently given, coughing violently to dislodge the piece currently in his throat.

"Jae! Are you alright?" Changmin's worried voice was suddenly next to him and he looked at him with watery eyes as Changmin feed him water from a glass. Jaejoong drank diligently, feeling the refreshing water cool his sore throat and he felt comfort as his brother's hand gently massaged his back. He stopped drinking and grabbed the cup from his brother hesitantly, putting it down on the table. This was it. Here goes nothing.

"Thanks Min… um. I-I wanted to talk to you about something…" he trailed off as he motioned for Changmin to sit down. He did as he was signaled and paid attention to what Jaejoong was about to say.

"I-I don't believe I've told you this but… well, I've researched cases of twins with our condition and… well, theirs is not as severe as ours but… um, the cases are rare and far between and well, I've thought of a way to desensitize ourselves." As soon as he finished saying that last part he blushed at how that sounded. Changmin meanwhile just looked dumbfounded and expectant.

When it was clear that nothing more was going to be said, Changmin asked, "So what is this way then?"

He sounded curious, but there was a hint of dread too. Jaejoong braced himself and continued with his explanation. "Well, in many cases, you can be exposed to the sensation multiple times until it loses the intense feeling, right? Hahaha… well-and just hear me out okay- I think that if we're exposed to the sensation constantly that it will lessen and that maybe it will turn more manageable. I think there was one case that said as much and that the twins were able to find a happy medium between the sensations so… I think we should try that…." Jaejoong trailed off as Changmin stared blankly at him. Maybe it was too much? Or maybe he hadn't understood what he meant because he seemed still in the same state.

"And that means…" Changmin asked hesitantly.

Jaejoong blushed. He knew Changmin was being purposefully thick headed and that he didn't want to get what he meant.

"It means that if we're exposed to the sensation more that maybe it won't be so bad later on in life?" He said hesitantly too, not sure whether it was a good idea anymore. His nervousness returned tenfold as he waited for his brother's reaction.

***

Changmin stared at Jaejoong, processing the words he'd just heard. The more he thought about it the more the words made sense. What was the saying again? The one that if you are sensitive to something you have to build up a tolerance to it and that then it won't feel so sensitive anymore? He wondered why he hadn't thought about that before… but he knew why. It could be considered too much. If he accepted this, he'd be accepting getting pleasured by his own sibling and it wouldn't be an accident or an experiment anymore. It'd be consciously done, with a goal in mind true, but still consciously done… and he wasn't sure whether he wanted to go there… especially with how intense the sensations had been. What if he couldn't stop himself? What if he craved the sensations later on? He'd grown addicted to self pleasure and what if he grew addicted to the sensations caused by their shared link too?

The thought terrified him… because he was afraid of what that could lead to… but looking into his brother's scared, doubtful eyes and feeling the nervousness emanating him made his worries seem so small. It took a lot for his brother to propose this solution, he knew, and rejecting him seemed something cruel. He had to be strong and keep the reasons why they're doing this clear. Besides, if this would work, it'd be best to try it when their parents are gone and not when they're home. This was the best time to try any solutions they might think of.

"Okay Jaejoong. We'll try this and see how it works." He smiled tentatively and could feel his brother's relief as well as his own.

"But we can't go slow." He said as he thought the idea.

When his brother frowned in confusion he clarified. "What I mean is that you know that I feel everything when you are… you know and that you feel everything when I… and well, if we're going to do this we have to be in the same room. We can't take it slow and begin with separate rooms and build up until we're in the same room. We have to start in the same room and eventually build up from there. Hopefully we can diminish the sensation to a pleasant buzz at the back of our minds by the end of the third day before our parents come back. Do you agree Jae?"

****

Jaejoong was shocked at what he heard. Not only had his brother agreed, but he'd also took it a step further in the hopes to get this over with as soon as possible. He had figured they'd eventually get to that point, but for it to happen this quickly… he took a deep breath. It had to happen, but… he wasn't sure whether what happened the first time was a fluke or whether he'd be able to be normal after seeing Changmin… he flushed and felt himself harden slightly in his pants. Oh no. This wasn't good. He closed his eyes, trying to think of something to calm himself down. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe he shouldn't- but this was the only way. They couldn't live their lives like this and he wasn't sure what would happen when they began dating to the point of having sexual intercourse. Maybe this was his only chance to- he inhaled sharply as he caught himself before he said something he would regret, if only to himself.

He opened his eyes, determined now.

"Okay. I understand. We start tonight and this includes everyday touching too Min. That way we get use to feeling each other's skin as brothers normally do like play fighting and stuff… like what we use to do before Appa freaked out on us that one time. Maybe that will help us in the long run to desensitize ourselves too?" Jaejoong spoke all that without thinking it, but it made sense. The goal was to not feel a thing and if getting use to their bodies as brothers again would help, that could help… no?

"Okay Jae, see you later then." Changmin said as he clapped him on his shoulder and went to leave his dishes on the sink. Jaejoong suppressed the surprised gasp, as he wasn't expecting the touch, and resolutely refused to think of what he'd just done.

'It's all in the name of reaching a goal. Nothing more.' He said to himself.

'Surreee.' Another little voice said in the background and he completely ignored it. He was not doing it for another reason… was he?

Chapter 10