Bittersweet (Jalex)
Title: Bittersweet.
Author: jaaalex
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: ATL aren't mine and this never happened.
Warnings: Cheating? Some triggering words?
Summary: After 10 years you would think Jack deserved more than a hand to hold.
A/N: This is really confusing, to me and i haven't written anything for a while and this is the first thing that popped into my head, so here you guys go. Also, nothing more will be posted on my Wattpad, i will only be using LiveJournal from now on.
I guess it all started after our 10 year anniversary.
The day before actually. I remember that because on the day of our 10 year, i was sitting alone outside our bedroom door with dry bloodshot eyes, waiting for you to come out.
Waiting to face the man i had married, the man i have my life to. Waiting for you to explain to me why you shared something so personal with someone who wasn't me.
I mean i guess you had your reasons. Everyone does, right?
I can still remember what happened, as clear as day…
I had just gotten home from work and it was nearing 8pm, i wasn't supposed to be home till about 11pm, but i got told you were sick so i wanted to comfort you.
"Alex, baby, i'm home and i got you something from the store, because i knew you weren't feeling well, because i called the school and asked if you were there and they said that you felt too sick to come in today, baby where are you?" i said as i walked through the house, my tone hushing as i got upstairs to the bedroom door, small moans, they were yours, i knew what your moans sounded like, after 10 years, you get can tell by ear, and you were supposed to be the only one in the house then. I wanted to keep quiet, i was going to sneak up on you, i thought you were just relieving some stress. I knew you had been stressed at work and thats why you had been coming home late. Then i heard another moans and pants that weren't yours, they were deeper and stronger than your small ones. The door was open widely, i presume you knew i wasn't going to be home. I hid behind the wall and just breathed for a few seconds, i knew that there was a logical explication for what i was about to witness. But i couldn't. I couldn't do it.
I slid down the wall, my head in my hands, tucked between my knees, i couldn't do it, i couldn't witness someone else sharing what was supposed to be ours. My tears came first, the shaking sobs racking my body, all i could do was whimper and shake, curled up in a ball i couldn't do anything but whimper away from my problems.
You must have finished, your friend as well, because your breathing became heaving and later evened out, i knew you would come out to clean each other off soon.
But as night rolled on, it seemed that you had fallen asleep with your man. Should i have called him that, i guess thats what he was to you now. Your man. The sun rose in the east and my eyes were still staring to the floor, my mind was blank and surrounded by a buzzing, telling me that i hadn't slept all night. I couldn't feel anything. But i just wanted to talk to you. I had no idea what to do. I just wanted to talk to you…
As you strode out of our bedroom with nothing on your body, i wondered why i chose you of all people, i guess its because i never thought you would do something like this to me. I guess i was wrong.
"So you aren't sick?" i said, my voice was weak as i sat there still in my work clothes, my shirt stained with tears as i was huddled between where the walls met. "Jack?" You said to me, as if you didn't know who it was. Who did you expect to be sitting there?
I slowly got up, my bones cracking and aching as i watched you stand there in shock, i used the wall for support instead of your outstretched hand, when you tried to grab my arm to help me up i pulled away and murmured "don't touch me Alex" you kindly retracted your hand and stepped away so i could get up.
Once i had gained my balance, with the little strength i had left in my fragile body, my hand rose and slapped you right across the cheek, a shocked gasp escaped your lips then a sentence that ill never forget "I guess i deserved that"
i didn't bother doing anything else to you. All i wanted to say and all i did say was "After 10 years, you really think i deserved the surprise you gave me?" my head was hung low and i pushed past you, i was about to go down the stairs, you were watching me, i could feel your eyes boring into me i turned back and said "Please Alex, don't say anything anymore, ill be back to get my stuff soon, thank you for the last 10 years of my life. You made me the happiest I've ever been" my head was still low as i grabbed my keys and wallet and slowly shut the door behind myself.
That was the end of me.
The next 3 years was a blur of sex, drugs and alcohol, to numb the pain you put me through, i got a new job, a new car, a new house, i got a new life. I got new cuts and scratches as well. You always thought i would never go back to harming myself. Boy, were you wrong Alex.
But i could never stop thinking about you, how you looked when i walked away from you. Regret. Guilt. Hate. You deserved to feel that way about what you did.
That night, i got a call from you all you said was "Jacky, i miss you, i left him, i want you back, i know it took me 3 years to realise that, but i still love you, I'm sorry i did what i did"
And in that moment, i felt like my life had done a complete full circle. I was done with you, i was done with the stupid, ignorant you, i was done with the you that left me sitting outside our bedroom door whilst you made love to someone else. You, i was done with you.
"Im sorry Alex, I've moved on and i think its best you do the same, i will always love you, i will never forget you, but I'm done, please don't try and contact me again. Goodbye Lex"
Bittersweet; was the only way to describe what just happened.
Bittersweet was how i was going to be living for the rest of my life.
Author: jaaalex
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: ATL aren't mine and this never happened.
Warnings: Cheating? Some triggering words?
Summary: After 10 years you would think Jack deserved more than a hand to hold.
A/N: This is really confusing, to me and i haven't written anything for a while and this is the first thing that popped into my head, so here you guys go. Also, nothing more will be posted on my Wattpad, i will only be using LiveJournal from now on.
I guess it all started after our 10 year anniversary.
The day before actually. I remember that because on the day of our 10 year, i was sitting alone outside our bedroom door with dry bloodshot eyes, waiting for you to come out.
Waiting to face the man i had married, the man i have my life to. Waiting for you to explain to me why you shared something so personal with someone who wasn't me.
I mean i guess you had your reasons. Everyone does, right?
I can still remember what happened, as clear as day…
I had just gotten home from work and it was nearing 8pm, i wasn't supposed to be home till about 11pm, but i got told you were sick so i wanted to comfort you.
"Alex, baby, i'm home and i got you something from the store, because i knew you weren't feeling well, because i called the school and asked if you were there and they said that you felt too sick to come in today, baby where are you?" i said as i walked through the house, my tone hushing as i got upstairs to the bedroom door, small moans, they were yours, i knew what your moans sounded like, after 10 years, you get can tell by ear, and you were supposed to be the only one in the house then. I wanted to keep quiet, i was going to sneak up on you, i thought you were just relieving some stress. I knew you had been stressed at work and thats why you had been coming home late. Then i heard another moans and pants that weren't yours, they were deeper and stronger than your small ones. The door was open widely, i presume you knew i wasn't going to be home. I hid behind the wall and just breathed for a few seconds, i knew that there was a logical explication for what i was about to witness. But i couldn't. I couldn't do it.
I slid down the wall, my head in my hands, tucked between my knees, i couldn't do it, i couldn't witness someone else sharing what was supposed to be ours. My tears came first, the shaking sobs racking my body, all i could do was whimper and shake, curled up in a ball i couldn't do anything but whimper away from my problems.
You must have finished, your friend as well, because your breathing became heaving and later evened out, i knew you would come out to clean each other off soon.
But as night rolled on, it seemed that you had fallen asleep with your man. Should i have called him that, i guess thats what he was to you now. Your man. The sun rose in the east and my eyes were still staring to the floor, my mind was blank and surrounded by a buzzing, telling me that i hadn't slept all night. I couldn't feel anything. But i just wanted to talk to you. I had no idea what to do. I just wanted to talk to you…
As you strode out of our bedroom with nothing on your body, i wondered why i chose you of all people, i guess its because i never thought you would do something like this to me. I guess i was wrong.
"So you aren't sick?" i said, my voice was weak as i sat there still in my work clothes, my shirt stained with tears as i was huddled between where the walls met. "Jack?" You said to me, as if you didn't know who it was. Who did you expect to be sitting there?
I slowly got up, my bones cracking and aching as i watched you stand there in shock, i used the wall for support instead of your outstretched hand, when you tried to grab my arm to help me up i pulled away and murmured "don't touch me Alex" you kindly retracted your hand and stepped away so i could get up.
Once i had gained my balance, with the little strength i had left in my fragile body, my hand rose and slapped you right across the cheek, a shocked gasp escaped your lips then a sentence that ill never forget "I guess i deserved that"
i didn't bother doing anything else to you. All i wanted to say and all i did say was "After 10 years, you really think i deserved the surprise you gave me?" my head was hung low and i pushed past you, i was about to go down the stairs, you were watching me, i could feel your eyes boring into me i turned back and said "Please Alex, don't say anything anymore, ill be back to get my stuff soon, thank you for the last 10 years of my life. You made me the happiest I've ever been" my head was still low as i grabbed my keys and wallet and slowly shut the door behind myself.
That was the end of me.
The next 3 years was a blur of sex, drugs and alcohol, to numb the pain you put me through, i got a new job, a new car, a new house, i got a new life. I got new cuts and scratches as well. You always thought i would never go back to harming myself. Boy, were you wrong Alex.
But i could never stop thinking about you, how you looked when i walked away from you. Regret. Guilt. Hate. You deserved to feel that way about what you did.
That night, i got a call from you all you said was "Jacky, i miss you, i left him, i want you back, i know it took me 3 years to realise that, but i still love you, I'm sorry i did what i did"
And in that moment, i felt like my life had done a complete full circle. I was done with you, i was done with the stupid, ignorant you, i was done with the you that left me sitting outside our bedroom door whilst you made love to someone else. You, i was done with you.
"Im sorry Alex, I've moved on and i think its best you do the same, i will always love you, i will never forget you, but I'm done, please don't try and contact me again. Goodbye Lex"
Bittersweet; was the only way to describe what just happened.
Bittersweet was how i was going to be living for the rest of my life.