its been a while
Its been quite some time since i wrote on this thing, i think of things to write but by the time i get on the computer those thoughtful moments have usually passed. The other day I sliced the tip of my index finger quite deep and now it has hardly any feeling so it stings yet feels numb when i type with it.
Is it possible to feel like emotionly clogged. You know how ypur arteries get clogged when you eat too much fat, well is it possible to have your emotional pathways clogged with too many emotions. its hard to explain but thats kind of how i feel. Every feeling i have comes out distorted in some way like i feel soemthing and by the time it travels through my body and reaches the surface the feelings has been distorted and changed by all the other mixed emotions i'm feeling right now. Sometimes i even feel my throat becoming tight like its been restricted by all this crap that is passing through my body. i need clense my self somehow. I need to sort these problems out, one by one but i'm not sure where to start. I know that I have to sort things out in my own head but i also need to tell other people about the things they do that effect me and my self esteem. I'm not the type to have low self esteem, i'm quite happy with my appearance and opinions but lately i struggle to be positive and happy, I think for the first time in my life i really am in a bit of a rut and its tough. Gees some many things going through my head. I wish i could just get away, take off to the other side of the world for a month and when i come back everyting would be great but its not gonna happen and i can't escape my thoughts, Most people get drunk or take drugs and they can escape even if it is just for a night but i'm just not the drinking type, i just can't really forget like that. hmmmmm something needs to be done, i'm not sure what exactly but i know i shouldn't be letting myself go on unhappily like this...
hopefully my next post (in like a months times) will be a lot better...
Is it possible to feel like emotionly clogged. You know how ypur arteries get clogged when you eat too much fat, well is it possible to have your emotional pathways clogged with too many emotions. its hard to explain but thats kind of how i feel. Every feeling i have comes out distorted in some way like i feel soemthing and by the time it travels through my body and reaches the surface the feelings has been distorted and changed by all the other mixed emotions i'm feeling right now. Sometimes i even feel my throat becoming tight like its been restricted by all this crap that is passing through my body. i need clense my self somehow. I need to sort these problems out, one by one but i'm not sure where to start. I know that I have to sort things out in my own head but i also need to tell other people about the things they do that effect me and my self esteem. I'm not the type to have low self esteem, i'm quite happy with my appearance and opinions but lately i struggle to be positive and happy, I think for the first time in my life i really am in a bit of a rut and its tough. Gees some many things going through my head. I wish i could just get away, take off to the other side of the world for a month and when i come back everyting would be great but its not gonna happen and i can't escape my thoughts, Most people get drunk or take drugs and they can escape even if it is just for a night but i'm just not the drinking type, i just can't really forget like that. hmmmmm something needs to be done, i'm not sure what exactly but i know i shouldn't be letting myself go on unhappily like this...
hopefully my next post (in like a months times) will be a lot better...