i wonder if maybe, maybe i could be all you ever dreamed...
Yesterday was nice. I was able to sleep in and then i went shopping with my momma. I got bunches of clothes for Italy and just cute things that i love :-) yay for shopping! so that was lovely. then I decided to take Scott out for ice cream to celebrate him going to England this summer!! Yay!! that is really really exciting, thats gonna be an awesome experience for him. In the words of my mom "He's going to be a real scholar". And he will. i'm impressed! So we went to Ashby's and then hung out for a little while. and i dropped him off by 11.
Then i drove around a little bit, trying to sort out all the complicated thoughts in my head, but that didnt work to well. I dunno, I guess i just already miss him. It's going to be a really really hard adjustment next year...I still consider him such a huge part of me. I worry about him, I miss him, I care about him, I want to be there for him--but hes going to be so far away, that it doesnt seem possible. grr i dont like growing up... The worst feeling of it all is probably knowing that i'm going to miss him more than he will miss me. Hes like 'its okay you dont see me that much here', or 'you'll get used to it', or 'it wont be that bad'. Its different tho. I cant even see him if i wanted to now. and i dont want to get used to it. I just dont want him to leave. I'm probably the biggest loser for being so caught up on this... i mean it happens people have to go where they are supposed to be and do what life has in store for them, but i'm not ready. I know i can go visit him and hopefully i will, but I still dont want him to be so far away...