watercolours again.

[j_blah]

i felt like writing
no
i felt like singing
wailing
& beating my fists palms something tapping tips of fingers maybe
lungs seared, scorched
an aching with the increase of poisons swelling

wailing
& jumping leaping up back smack on dancers' toes

wailing
& bleeding from serrated sharpness, dripping

flailing
& rocking as a child finds comfort and slumber and trust

sailing
& sailing on, under high-way bridges past sparkling lights
ripples catching silouhettes of billions, pieces scattered,
repititions flowing and never-ending and

...

failing

i fail to do as i please
i keep my mouth shut
my hands
vacant, lacking the energy
keep by my side

i fail to do as i feel

then thinking maybe i simply didn't
feel?

mere existence
this thing, this life, this entity
a mode or manner
a specific occurrance

i am here

that's enough, for
now

and ...

failing
to reach the shore

do i get a chance to float?