anger

[j88ls]

anger sweeps over me in waves
I feel my heart race and my breathing speed up
I want to throw something
I want to break something
I want to scream until I am hoarse
just when I thought I was in control
my powerlessness hits me like a storm
today my father did not even smile at me
I saw that it was only a shell
today my granddaughter told me my house was too small
she doesn't want to visit
my daughter takes her family away
another christmas with no grandchildren
I have nothing left
just the pretense of coping
just the bitter memories of a life wasted
all those years when I did my best
to no avail
why is it me left alone weeping
what is it that I am being punished for
how can I go on pretending
when my life has no meaning
when each day is an endless struggle
when I dread the new job I must face
what does it all mean
or is it all nothing