temporariness.
i've come to realize that everything in this world is temporary. this is especially true for the ephemeral fashion and trends, the ever-changing popular culture, and for technology, which is constantly developing. but it's also true for other things. if you think about it, university life is short, people come and go, and memories fade with time. the list could go on, but my point is - nothing really lasts that long.
but even upon this realization, i still find myself constantly looking for something that is long-lasting. it's really a vicious cycle. no matter how tightly i cling onto something, it just ends up leaving me. and yet i never learn. i insist on continuing my search, hoping that one day, i will find something that will permanently fill this emptiness inside of me. in fact, i've been searching for so long that i've reached the point where i'm finally beginning to understand that i'm never going to be satisfied if i try to pursue in these worldly things. all this time i thought i would find fulfillment and happiness in academics, in friendships, in materialistic things, but boy was i wrong. i was so blind.
i guess i could never find what i wanted because there was nothing to find. what i was missing was always there. God was always there, and He will always be there. but even though i see this now, i'm still struggling. that is to say, i'm still empty and i don't know what to do about it. i'm a mess.
but even upon this realization, i still find myself constantly looking for something that is long-lasting. it's really a vicious cycle. no matter how tightly i cling onto something, it just ends up leaving me. and yet i never learn. i insist on continuing my search, hoping that one day, i will find something that will permanently fill this emptiness inside of me. in fact, i've been searching for so long that i've reached the point where i'm finally beginning to understand that i'm never going to be satisfied if i try to pursue in these worldly things. all this time i thought i would find fulfillment and happiness in academics, in friendships, in materialistic things, but boy was i wrong. i was so blind.
i guess i could never find what i wanted because there was nothing to find. what i was missing was always there. God was always there, and He will always be there. but even though i see this now, i'm still struggling. that is to say, i'm still empty and i don't know what to do about it. i'm a mess.