es nada
nothing to say, just trying to stay awake at work.
Re-read an old entry or two. Sweet ode to my rock.....the poem I didn't expect to write....crazy talk about a clubbing night and a ski trip. lol.
Going white water rafting with the guys in june. call if u want in by april 1 deposit date.
Why is it whenever something good happens in my life, I cannot help but remember the bad from the past. I wish I could erase my memory. I imagine how much different of a person I'd be. Yeah, so people say your life experiences help you grow as a person. But that's a bunch of shit if your life experiences were majorly disasterous, leading to a "don't trust the world, you're not normal" mentality.
Like today, boy amigo's mom hugged me. Twice. And his stepdad hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. Seemingly normal signs of acceptance and affection. But I cried in the car ride after. Not so much about what they did, but more that it only reinforced the memory of my parents never doing that. My parents never kissed or hugged me, even as a little kid. Never mind any signs of acceptance of affection. And yeah it's all in the past, and as some people have pointed out, it looks like I have a seemingly normal or decent relationship with my parents today.
But I'll never forget who made me the way I am today.
J.U.S.T.T.O.T.A.L.L.Y.F.U.C.K.E.D
I wish I could see the world like a normal person
Re-read an old entry or two. Sweet ode to my rock.....the poem I didn't expect to write....crazy talk about a clubbing night and a ski trip. lol.
Going white water rafting with the guys in june. call if u want in by april 1 deposit date.
Why is it whenever something good happens in my life, I cannot help but remember the bad from the past. I wish I could erase my memory. I imagine how much different of a person I'd be. Yeah, so people say your life experiences help you grow as a person. But that's a bunch of shit if your life experiences were majorly disasterous, leading to a "don't trust the world, you're not normal" mentality.
Like today, boy amigo's mom hugged me. Twice. And his stepdad hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. Seemingly normal signs of acceptance and affection. But I cried in the car ride after. Not so much about what they did, but more that it only reinforced the memory of my parents never doing that. My parents never kissed or hugged me, even as a little kid. Never mind any signs of acceptance of affection. And yeah it's all in the past, and as some people have pointed out, it looks like I have a seemingly normal or decent relationship with my parents today.
But I'll never forget who made me the way I am today.
J.U.S.T.T.O.T.A.L.L.Y.F.U.C.K.E.D
I wish I could see the world like a normal person