I'm pulled down by the undertow

[izzy_hicks]

I still haven't slept much this past week, but I'm trying. For all my lack of sleep it took me a bit to figure out Eva's been dodging me a bit. Had I not had my head up in my ass, I might of noticed sooner. Wel it stops tonight. I'm heading over there and she will talk to me. Dodge my ass, yeah like that works

Comments

[_eva_c]

*opens the door and sees Izzy standing there with a brown paper bag*

I sure hope you've got more than Coke in there.

*smiles and steps back to let her in*

[izzy_hicks]

Bitca! Don't think I didn't feel you think about closing the door on me. Doge my ass will you.

*grins*

Don't I always? Figured we could hang out, get drunk, deal with tomorrow tomorrow.

You game?

[_eva_c]

*laughs*

I know, I suck! But I am sorry about dodging you. If it makes you feel better, I was dodging Cristoff too and he lives with me.

*grins*

Lord yes, that sounds like a wonderful plan.

*gets two glasses and motions for her to follow into the study, closing the door behind them*

My grandmother's here, too. She's like the Magic 8 Ball, but we can at least pretend to have some privacy in here.

[izzy_hicks]

Yeah we know all types suck.

And no. It doesn't make me feel better that you were dodging Cristoff too. I hope you knocked that stuff off. Cause there will be a happyily ever after, dammit.

*pours them out some drinks hands her one*

To...shit getting better someday. *raises her glass and smiles*

[_eva_c]

Hell yeah, I'll drink to that.

*clinks her glass against Izzy's and takes a sip*

And yes, I did quit dodging him and he talked some sense into me, thank god.

How about you, how are you doing? Since you showed up with a bottle I'm thinking things haven't been so great lately for you, either.

[izzy_hicks]

Good you guys don't need to be not talking.

*smiles*

I'm great.

*knocks back some of her drink. shrugs*

Just thought it's been a while since we've done this, so what the heck I'll bring a bottle.

*looks at her*

Anything else new and exciting going on. I feel out of the loop.

[_eva_c]

*raises an eyebrow*

No you're not, but I'm letting you slide for right now because apparently I'm supposed to talk about things.

*sighs*

It's just hard, sometimes. I had days where I didn't even admit that it bothered me what my father did, and then when I finally let it all out...it's like I can't put it back, you know?

*frowns*

Nana says I'm not supposed to, that I need to deal but really? I think I'm dealing just fine. Except for having nightmares, and Cristoff is, too.

*looks at her*

God Iz, you should see it when he wakes up, it terrifies me to see him like that. He's so upset he can't even speak in english for a while.

[izzy_hicks]

You all are having nightmares too?

*holds up hand before she can answer*

Your Nanas propbably right. If you've finally let all that out, don't tuck it all away. And if you can't think of how good it'll be for you to do it, then do it for me. Cause OW. All that repression kinda hurts after a while.

*fills their glasses again*

So you all are having dreams too? Like horrible, please God never let me sleep again dreams or just dreams?

[_eva_c]

*raises an eyebrow*

See? Be happy I was dodging your ass, it was for your sake as well as mine at the time.

*takes a drink*

And yes, horrible dreams. Mine are, well it's about when Cristoff left me and then there's my father, telling me I deserve it and I wake up so scared that it's true, that these past months have been the dream and that's reality.

*finishes her drink and pours them another*

Cristoff's, god, at first he would only say it was something about his family. Then one night I got him to tell me after he woke up and I was able to translate some of what he was saying. His are about me being killed, and I felt so awful about that, that maybe this recent incident with my father set it off. But then I was able to put it together and it was about his family killing me, because he broke the rules. It's horrible, and I wish I knew what to do to make them stop for him. I can take a lot of things, but I can't take seeing him like that when he wakes up.

[izzy_hicks]

*gives her a pointed look*

I would take on that pain anyday of the week and twice on Sundays, if if meant I could just be a friend to you. Don't ever shut me out cause you're afraid of my abilities....Please. You're my best friend and like a sister to me, not that I don't have enough of those. I'll always be here for you.

*takes a drink*

Well your fathers a twisted bastard. So automatically he doesn't get a voice in your opinion of you. *lifts hand* I know I know easier said than done. But try and keep it in mind.

Dude, thats fucked up. I'm glad we were sucky rom. I mean my dad was only bannished for marrying mom. But they didn't try to kill her. Or who knows Maybe that hex they put on Daddy was the reason Mom died.

*shrugs and swallows the rest of her drink*

More please.

[_eva_c]

*smiles at her*

I know, and I'm sorry Iz. I didn't mean to shut you out, and I won't do it again, promise. You know I feel the same way about you, you're like a sister to me too and I never meant to hurt you.

*pours her another*

Cristoff says they don't do that anymore, but it scares the hell out of him all the same.

*looks at her*

You asked if I was having nightmares, too. I'm not drunk enough to not realize that means you're also having some. Want to tell me about it?

[izzy_hicks]

You don't know half the shit the rom used to do. It'd blow your mind. I could see why Cristoff would be freaked about it. I don't want him to be freaked, and we would never let anything happen to you like that. But the old ways were fucked up.

*takes another drink and smirks*

Noticed that did you? But am I drunk enough to talk about it yet?

*shrugs*

Probably a cross between your dream and Cristoffs. Cept at the end of mine all the kids were dead, Penn left me and my Mom was the one telling me that I wasn't good enough to have ever had them in my life. Oh yeah and I got to watch my mom die again, and Nicky almost die, and Grams die, with a little side reminder of my dad dislike for me. So you know make ya want to sleep whole bunches.

*takes another drink*

How was your week?

[_eva_c]

Oh god, Iz, that's horrible. You know it's not true, though right? You deserve to have them, you deserve to be happy. And they all love you, why do you think they came all this way? Penn would never leave you, either.

*takes a sip and looks down at her glass*

But I get the not good enough part, believe me.

How was my week? Well, let's see, I almost asked Cristoff to leave earlier this week. Oh, and well you know about the not being able to sleep, but guess what we found out? My father is Evan's father. Like literally. And Ev's, I still don't know how to feel about that one. Apparently he figured out a way to hop dimensions and he fathered all of us. Talk about fucked up, now that's fucked up. So other than that and feeling like I'm insane half the time, it's been pretty good.

[izzy_hicks]

*takes another drink. voice quiet*

When that singing thing was going on? He aske if maybe it was better that I left, so that the kids would. That he felt the reason I was staying was cause I would never leave him, and that I deserved a better life than this. He said he couldn't give me a happily ever after. Even though I've never asked him for one, but beside the point. Comes down to him thinking maybe I don't belong here. *shrugs* So maybe moms right on a lot of levels.

*looks at her like she crazy*

Wait, the fuck? Your dad is Evans dad and Ev's dad. So that like make you all related. Ev's your sister?

*looks down at her glass and then back up at her*

Maybe I should sto drinking cause I coulda sworn you also said something about you asking Cristoff to leave? *looks at her again* Ev's your sister? Thats like fucked up.

[_eva_c]

*looks at her now like she's crazy*

Iz, Penn loves you and only wants what's best for you, even if it means he has to lose you. It's the same thing I was saying about Cristoff; I only want what's best for him, even if it's at my expense. Doesn't mean it wouldn't about kill me to do it, but if I had to? I would. It also doesn't mean Penn doesn't want you, either. So quit it.

*laughs a little*

Didn't I say it was fucked up? I thought it was before, but lord, having your father send you to your death is not as fucked up as finding out he's been hopping dimensions impregnating the same women over and over again.

*refills their glasses*

Nuh uh, you heard right. Somewhere in my insanity earlier this week, I thought it would be better for Cristoff to leave me and find someone that wasn't always getting half-killed all the time. Luckily I came to my senses before I could actually suggest that to him. And don't even get me started on how I feel about Ev really being my sister instead of my double.

[izzy_hicks]

Okay you and Penn are wrong. You can sens a sibling away cause its "best" for them, but sending someone you love like that away is wrong. Penn and I, we're supposed to be in this together.

*takes another drink*

And another thing...*loses train of thought* Dude seriously, you all are related? Thats just messed up. I can't even think..it makes my head hurt thinking about dimensional doubles, but what you have is messed up. I mean Evan was adamant about it not mattering you and him weren't blood, that you're his sister and stuff regaurdless, but well it's cool that you are like really related. *giggles but tries not to* Talk about kharma slappping you around. Ev's your sister.