GG, Alliance, GG, Horde. You two got us all killed. Nice job.

May 11, 2010 00:12


I'm not sure what the deal is with the Alliance and Horde lately. Maybe something in my brain's wired funky, I dunno. Maybe I didn't play enough Halo before joining WoW. Fucked if I know or care. Point of the matter is I think that both factions are doing one hell of a good job at doing every omnicidal superbeing this side of Cthulu's work for them.

On the Alliance's side, we have Varian Wrynn's return, wherein every other member of the Alliance becomes a second-class citizen and Jaina Proudmoore, the strong-willed young woman who stood against the third most powerful demon alive at Hyjal Summit, has been reduced to Varian's cheerleader in Northrend. Jaina, the same mage who helped save the world, proved herself a competent political and military leader, who has her own sovereign nation full of people who love her to the point that they will defend her to the hilt even if they don't agree with her assessment of the Horde, and who basically held the Alliance together for nearly a decade before Varian resurfaced and returned to Stormwind, at which point his powers as the resident Conan expy and his magical plot-twisting powers demanded everyone bow down to his will.

Jaina brings me to another problem in the Alliance. Jaina, sweetheart. You're a gorgeous woman in her prime, with your own city-state and an impressive track record: you've managed to aid in the defeat of the third most-powerful demon in existence and held together a coalition across two continents separated by a massive ocean, one race of which is infamous for extreme xenophobia. Varian Wrynn is not your king. Stormwind has no political or historic rights to Theramore. The Alliance does not have a de facto “One Chin to Rule Them All” clause in the papers. Stop calling him your king. That goes for the rest of you guys-he doesn't respect the other leaders enough to address you all by title, no need to show him any.

On the Horde side of things, we've got Thrall being derailed for the sake of shoving Garrosh Heckwhimper down everyone's throats. Garrosh, who got his role purely through nepotism. Thrall knew Grom. Grom was one of Thrall's best friends. This blinds Thrall in regards to Garrosh being an ineffective, incomptetent manchild with an IQ normally reserved for a grapefruit. All through Northrend, Garrosh has done nothing but serve to fuck things up in the Horde and do his damnedest to goad King Chin. Yep, that's right: those two hotheads are too damn stupid to stop goading one another and worry about that guy who they're reinforcing every time they clash. Garrosh, in Cataclysm, is going to ascent to Warchief. Recently, on MMO-Champ's forums, a leak has sprung showing Vol'jin's rather apt assessment of Garrosh's abilities, calling him out on the reason Thrall put him in and going so far as to tell Garrosh to, in effect, suck his dick and keep his eyes on the shadows after Garrosh directly threatens him multiple times.

Garrosh, in short, is doing his absolute best to skullfuck everything Thrall has worked towards and everything the New Horde meant. He is going to be a Warchief much like Blackhand, Gul'dan, and Ner'zhul. He is going to end up joining that list of names that fill any orc with two operating brain cells with hate and cause their bile to rise. He is using the Horde as a vehicle for his own personal power and glory just like those who came before Doomhammer and who came in Doomhammer's absence.

Seriously guys, what the hell is wrong with you? And what boggles the mind is, people DEFEND this sort of plot progression as though it's good for the lore. Can someone fill me in on how doing a good job of ensuring everyone dies to the latest supervillain since the two biggest factions in the area get sidetracked doing that supervillain's job for them is good for the lore?
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