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i thought a lot about spain today.
i remembered when i got lost in toledo, on those winding, cobblestone streets and came across this bar called medieval. there was a huge and rather intimidating-looking suit of armor that blocked the door. i went inside and drank free shots all night, talking about the united states with the few spaniards that were there. one of the bartenders came out from behind the bar and asked me to dance with him. i danced with another woman who was there. she was wearing all white. i tried to do a spin while simultaneously shaking my hips, mimicking her, and hit the bartender in the nose.
i dont know why i remembered this.
but you know when you're brushing your teeth, or maybe standing in the shower while the water runs over your back, or maybe even just walking down the stairs to go to your car...and suddenly flashes of a memory just blink across your mind? for some reason that's been happening to me so much recently. i think my mind is scared that i'll forget about spain. and let me tell you, it would be so easy to do so. it doesn't even feel like i was there. sometimes it doesn't even feel like all of that was real, that any of it exists in this very moment while i'm sitting here in my room on my laptop. i miss it though, i miss it a lot. and i'm having trouble explaining that to people. i'm so happy to be back here, but there's this other part of me that feels completely lost.
im really curious what's going to happen in my life in the next few weeks, with school starting and me hopefully getting a job. i feel like it all could go in so many directions, depending on how i choose. im very apprehensive, to tell the truth. i'm scared about where all these changes are going to bring me and all of my friends. all of the important people in my life could be scattered across this country, maybe even the world, within a matter of a few years. that's scary.
once again, im not satisfied with this entry. i don't know what i should start doing differently. maybe it's just that i'm too super critical of anything i write. i'm trying so hard to break myself of that habit because it really inhibits my creativity. but who isn't their own worst critic?
i remembered when i got lost in toledo, on those winding, cobblestone streets and came across this bar called medieval. there was a huge and rather intimidating-looking suit of armor that blocked the door. i went inside and drank free shots all night, talking about the united states with the few spaniards that were there. one of the bartenders came out from behind the bar and asked me to dance with him. i danced with another woman who was there. she was wearing all white. i tried to do a spin while simultaneously shaking my hips, mimicking her, and hit the bartender in the nose.
i dont know why i remembered this.
but you know when you're brushing your teeth, or maybe standing in the shower while the water runs over your back, or maybe even just walking down the stairs to go to your car...and suddenly flashes of a memory just blink across your mind? for some reason that's been happening to me so much recently. i think my mind is scared that i'll forget about spain. and let me tell you, it would be so easy to do so. it doesn't even feel like i was there. sometimes it doesn't even feel like all of that was real, that any of it exists in this very moment while i'm sitting here in my room on my laptop. i miss it though, i miss it a lot. and i'm having trouble explaining that to people. i'm so happy to be back here, but there's this other part of me that feels completely lost.
im really curious what's going to happen in my life in the next few weeks, with school starting and me hopefully getting a job. i feel like it all could go in so many directions, depending on how i choose. im very apprehensive, to tell the truth. i'm scared about where all these changes are going to bring me and all of my friends. all of the important people in my life could be scattered across this country, maybe even the world, within a matter of a few years. that's scary.
once again, im not satisfied with this entry. i don't know what i should start doing differently. maybe it's just that i'm too super critical of anything i write. i'm trying so hard to break myself of that habit because it really inhibits my creativity. but who isn't their own worst critic?