In all of this clamor.... the silence is defeaning...
So yea.
I was sitting with Alicia last night at Backstreet, somewhere towards the end of the night.
And it kind've hit me.
"Wow, this scene is dead. I think I want to cry."
Alicia then said to me, "Yea. There really isn't anything left."
Fortunately, I wasn't the only one to feel this way. Zach felt that way too. Most of us that are the "regulars" or the "family" of Backstreet were just kind've like "Yea. This sucks".
So, after a little bit of silent contemplation, amidst the smoke filled room, the intoxicated homosexual patrons of the bar dancing and merrily running about, I strolled over towards the back park of the bar, where I sat on a stool and kind've morosely watched the crowd of people dancing, being drunk, and generally being happy while I mouthed the words to the song "U + UR Hand" while it played into the night.
It was pretty depressing.
I felt so done with lots of things last night.
Not that a lot of it will neccesarily change.
But it was depressing.
Joel left with someone. Jon left with someone.
Sean and I left with each other.
He really wasn't drunk. Maybe a little. But not really.
We talked about how much is actually changing in our lives right now.
We talked about why we feel that we need to make changes.
It was a nice conversation.
I miss having conversations like that. I liked getting my feelings out.
And I loved how Pink's music made that moment in time, just resonate with how I felt.
It was kind've amazing.
We got back to Sean's apartment. Brett was there, Scott, his boyfriend, was pissed for some reason. I couldn't hear because Brett had kind've talked in a combination of a whisper and a mumble.
Then I left.
It was kind've nice to just.... drive.
I like being busy. It keeps my mind off of things.
Being bored always makes me.... depressed.
I think I'm done with this entry. I don't know what else to say.
Except... "The scene is dead, I think I want to cry"
I'm out...
I was sitting with Alicia last night at Backstreet, somewhere towards the end of the night.
And it kind've hit me.
"Wow, this scene is dead. I think I want to cry."
Alicia then said to me, "Yea. There really isn't anything left."
Fortunately, I wasn't the only one to feel this way. Zach felt that way too. Most of us that are the "regulars" or the "family" of Backstreet were just kind've like "Yea. This sucks".
So, after a little bit of silent contemplation, amidst the smoke filled room, the intoxicated homosexual patrons of the bar dancing and merrily running about, I strolled over towards the back park of the bar, where I sat on a stool and kind've morosely watched the crowd of people dancing, being drunk, and generally being happy while I mouthed the words to the song "U + UR Hand" while it played into the night.
It was pretty depressing.
I felt so done with lots of things last night.
Not that a lot of it will neccesarily change.
But it was depressing.
Joel left with someone. Jon left with someone.
Sean and I left with each other.
He really wasn't drunk. Maybe a little. But not really.
We talked about how much is actually changing in our lives right now.
We talked about why we feel that we need to make changes.
It was a nice conversation.
I miss having conversations like that. I liked getting my feelings out.
And I loved how Pink's music made that moment in time, just resonate with how I felt.
It was kind've amazing.
We got back to Sean's apartment. Brett was there, Scott, his boyfriend, was pissed for some reason. I couldn't hear because Brett had kind've talked in a combination of a whisper and a mumble.
Then I left.
It was kind've nice to just.... drive.
I like being busy. It keeps my mind off of things.
Being bored always makes me.... depressed.
I think I'm done with this entry. I don't know what else to say.
Except... "The scene is dead, I think I want to cry"
I'm out...