Answers to the questions that don't need thought ever again....
Last night before my dance/stroll/sing in the rain I was in a rather awkward phone call conversation that brought me back 6 months ago. It was very unsettling at first with all the disputes and arguments about all the lies, affairs and drugs... But then we started talking about the good old days. The days when we had adventures and nights in my room with Rush. I couldn't even believe how much I had forgotten while being here. All the times we watched Reno and laughed for hours after it ended while on the phone. The times we couldn't go through one movie without being distracted. And the times we would talk about ghosts and get so scared that we'd have to run outside of my house and stroll around for hours in the snow. But then I remember the painful jealousy, the thousands of arguments everyday, the amount we cared but couldn't face reality, and the amount that we were so similar it was like fighting yourself. And also, the move. He still hates me for moving but.....something beyong belief blossomed when I moved here. Something that makes me want to stay here even if I hate it and I'm homesick. Something so compelling that I will never be able to have it. Something that will never leaves my thoughts or dreams...
I guess that was the something that kept me from wanting my past again...
I guess that was the something that kept me from wanting my past again...