[ooc] application for polychromatic
[nick / name]: Kris
[personal LJ name]: my_daroga
[other characters currently played]: N/A
[e-mail]: mydaroga [at] gmail [dot] com
[AIM / messenger]: originalfine
[series]: Supernatural
[character]: Sam Winchester
[character history / background]: Supernatural wiki.
[character abilities]: At this point, Sam has learned that drops of the Yellow-Eyed Demon's blood, fed to him when he was an infant, have resulted in special powers. His lie primarily in precognitive dreams and visions, mostly about deaths related to other demon-blood-infused children, and in one instance telekinesis. He can, at times, sense the presence of the supernatural, though it seems to be related to himself and his family. He has also proven resistant to some other powers and infections. As of now, he has unrealized powers activated by ingesting demon blood, but with the Yellow-Eyed Demon's death the visions disappear, and all such powers are latent.
Sam does also have high intelligence, skill with weapons and fighting techniques, and knowledge of the occult, but nothing out of the human ordinary.
[character personality]: Sam's life, so far, has been shaped by two conflicting influences: the life of a hunter into which he was more or less born and the yearning for a "normal" life, born by his feelings of alienation. He's always felt like a freak, and always worked hard to overcome that stigma. Contradiction is at the heart of his personality, which can be described as a struggle between his darker impulses and heritage and his value system. Both moral and prone to slipping, arrogant and sensitive, angry and gentle, Sam embodies the difficulty in making one's own way when so much is out of one's control.
Growing up first under a lie, and then with a regime he chafed under, Sam's world view is both reactionary and intellectual. In his effort to protect his son, who was only six months old when his mother was killed and he was thrown into a world of demons and revenge, John Winchester attempted to keep the truth from Sam for as long as possible, neglecting him and his older brother Dean in his attempt to avenge their mother's death. At the same time, the secrecy was plain to see for an intelligent child like Sam, whose childhood was shaped by truths he knew were being kept from him. Constantly moving, he never had a steady home life except for his brother, who essentially raised him. While Dean patiently followed John's orders, his loyalty ingrained, Sam questioned everything. So used to being lied to, he developed a need to think for himself which was both indicative of independence and rebellion--in this sense, Sam's need to question is more powerful than simply a search for objective truth. He will question for its own sake, and often is not aware that his intellectual curiosity is not a little subjective and reactionary.
That said, Sam has an ability to see grey areas which is both a liability and what makes him, at least at the beginning, Dean's conscience. In the black and white world of human vs. monster, Sam sees ambiguity, the line between the two not always so defined. He's sensitive to victims, often empathizing with them to an extent which implies more emotional involvement than most hunters can afford, but he's also able to step back and see when the shoot first philosophy might be the wrong one. Even before the implication that he may not be entirely human, he believes that it is possible for "monsters" to decide their own fates, and make moral choices. That said, the anger he carries with him can surface under the right circumstances, and lead him to be the one prone to acting precipitously. It's the flip side of the same coin, given that both are often triggered by Sam's emotional state.
Where this becomes a liability is where it manifests and a huge flaw in his character: Sam is the king of good intentions gone wrong. While this does not become a major factor until later seasons, even by the end of season two the conflict is apparent. While Dean kills demons and other "monsters" without question, he has hard lines he will not cross unless forced, while Sam is capable of more coldly examining a situation and advocating immoral or suspect acts for "the greater good." His blind spot is in failing to see that by letting ends justify means, one becomes the very type of monster they hunt.
Part of this comes from his arrogance and self-righteousness. Sam knows he is a moral person, and believes himself to be strong and intelligent. He stood up to his father and left. He maintains his own views in opposition to Dean, when he feels it necessary. Sam believes, essentially, that it can't happen to him. While he may experience self-doubt, in the end he is convinced that he is ultimately on the side of good, defined by those ends, and the means will not taint him. Despite his intelligence--and indeed, sometimes because of it--he is able to fool himself into thinking he's doing the right thing.
While he doesn't yet know that he's the chosen vessel of Lucifer, or that his demon blood carries with it corrupting powers, he is aware that others think him capable of "going dark side." Having grown up trying to deny his feelings of freakishness, this is a possibility perversely exacerbated by his very anger in denying it. Underneath the sensitivity and the good intentions seethes a lot of anger and denial, and it is in fact this combination which makes him so dangerous. Sam is not an inherently evil person. Nor is his goodness a ruse. But his belief in his own infallible morality, his own intelligence, serves to make him blind to his own potential for making the wrong choices. In a sense, he believes that by definition, his choices are right. At the same time, he does worry that he is a monster, which makes it all the more essential to believe himself to be a good person, capable of overcoming his nature.
As yet, this hasn't had the consequences outlined above. But the conflict is within him, sparked by the knowledge that he is in fact "infected" with demon blood, he is "a freak," and the life his father chose for him is inescapable. While Dean has adopted their father's habits and world view, it is in fact Sam who resembles him most in character--he is the one more likely to be consumed by their quest, while Dean is motivated by more basic, personal instincts. At heart, despite Dean's tendency to act on impulsive desires, Sam is ultimately the more selfish.
Sam cannot be discussed without referencing his relationship with Dean. Growing up, moving frequently and with John absent, they were all they had. While Sam left to go to college, he has spent the past two years in the constant company of Dean again. As a result the two are inextricably intertwined, co-dependent and unhealthy. Though there is something of the yin and yang about them, and they complement each other, one has to remember the eye in the symbol. Though they are very different, their motivations and roles shift within the partnership, which is one of the things which makes them so difficult to separate. They each feel a strong familial duty toward the other, but how that manifests is not always the same. (For example, when Dean faced death due to a heart condition, Sam found a work-around without counting the cost to others; when Dean was faced with the same question, he sacrificed himself.) When Sam left home, he was rebelling against John, not Dean. But the consequence was the same--he had to find his own way for four years. Now that he's snapped back into the life he thought he'd escaped, he and Dean are re-establishing their dynamic. Having extricated himself from Sam&Dean, he now has to figure out how they fit together now that they are all they have.
At this point in his life, Sam has discovered that not only is he literally the reason for his mother's death and his family's unorthodox lifestyle, not only is he something not-quite human, but Dean has made a deal for Sam's life which means Dean has only a year to live. Sam is dealing with a lot of guilt, self-loathing, and denial. And this triggers his need to overcome his "fate," and Dean's, manifesting in a conviction he can beat it. Entering the city without Dean, and with a deadline, that guilt will be even more pronounced.
[point in timeline you're picking your character from]: After the events of 3x07 ("Fresh Blood"), while Sam is beginning to understand both Dean's lack of respect for his own life and his own darkness.