wow.
So, I've been re-reading stuff. Because after Clark and I broke up, I drove to Charlotte. If I'm being really honest with myself, I know I went there because I was scared to be alone again. But I told myself it was because I'd been missing Zak for weeks. Whatever. Zak has a girlfriend, again. But before I found out about that, he flipped because I had had a boyfriend.. You know, the typical "oh my god, you slut!" thing. Haa.
Essentially, what I have come upon realization is:
1) I didn't love Clark, and I don't think I was very happy with our relationship. Seems like he hurt me a lot with little things he said. BUT I'm still having a hard time with the split. I am trying to move on. I haven't talked to him since Friday.. so 4 days now. I tried really hard to not talk to him at all after the split, but I just can't do it. Regardless if I knew it was coming or whatever, it still hurt a lot. I'm still processing. I think I learned that.....online dating is not exactly my thing... and I probably won't do it again.
2) Zak. Is. Dumb. And he doesn't make me happy. And he's mean. And god he infuriates me, and makes me cry...and why am I still talking? Seriously. Ugh.
3) I need to revise a list of important characteristics or things I look for in a guy, based on recent happenings, and what I can and cannot deal with. I am really trying to move on from Clark and Zak, and I plan to accomplish that before I even think about dating again. Yes, I'm lonely. But... I'm tired of missing my exes in new relationships. I need to move ON first.
I'll write more often.
<2
Essentially, what I have come upon realization is:
1) I didn't love Clark, and I don't think I was very happy with our relationship. Seems like he hurt me a lot with little things he said. BUT I'm still having a hard time with the split. I am trying to move on. I haven't talked to him since Friday.. so 4 days now. I tried really hard to not talk to him at all after the split, but I just can't do it. Regardless if I knew it was coming or whatever, it still hurt a lot. I'm still processing. I think I learned that.....online dating is not exactly my thing... and I probably won't do it again.
2) Zak. Is. Dumb. And he doesn't make me happy. And he's mean. And god he infuriates me, and makes me cry...and why am I still talking? Seriously. Ugh.
3) I need to revise a list of important characteristics or things I look for in a guy, based on recent happenings, and what I can and cannot deal with. I am really trying to move on from Clark and Zak, and I plan to accomplish that before I even think about dating again. Yes, I'm lonely. But... I'm tired of missing my exes in new relationships. I need to move ON first.
I'll write more often.
<2