Fine poisons.
I've been having a relaxing day of aggravation. I plough on into the world of mathematics, becoming ever more enraged as things become more complicated. At this rate I'm not going to get to physics for a long time. There really is a lot of material. Accursed mathematicians! Maybe if they'd taken more days off I'd have less to trawl through.
In job news, I've received some very good signals from a certain company. Very good signals, but I'm not going to say too much at this point because I don't want to jinx it. If all goes well though, perhaps I'll finally get what I've wanted for so long: the fabled permanent contract. That ultra-rare thing in this uncertain day and age. I can barely contain myself with excitement, finally the stability I've so craved. Everything can potentially change for me then. I can finally get into the driving seat in future negotiations and not grovel and smack myself in the eye with a rock in the hope that they might let me lick car tires for them for 3 weeks in June.
Yes, my confidence is also finally returning to me after far too long. The bad times had ruined me further than I had thought. I realise now what sort of crap I was willing to take from people in recent times without sticking up for myself. Now without thinking about it I find myself lashing out to a degree whenever someone does me an injustice. This is how it should be. Bit by bit I will get it all back. This may mean a shift in the nature of my relationship with some people, but so be it.
One side-effect of this sudden reawakening is that I'm feeling colossal envy over other people's achievements, and I wish to emulate them. I may have failed to become Thor-O-Zeus, but that doesn't mean I should give up trying to better myself a little. The OU's MBA is probably out of reach for now (until I can assemble more funds to pay the eye-popping £18,000 tuition fees), but I have those orphaned Japanese modules that I sat during my last MSc. I could use those as the basis of a part-time BA in Combined Studies. It wouldn't be much of a basis though. I understand that 360 credits are needed for a part-time degree, and those modules I've done are worth 20. I could go for a Certificate of Higher Education at 120 credits, but I'm not sure that's going to sate my cravings to catch up with everyone else. Perhaps I should look into other correspondence courses that I could complete. Perhaps a BA in Japanese by means of self-study could be an option? Or perhaps there's something else that I'm not seeing right now because it's 3 am and my brain has been run over by the maths truck.
Perhaps I'm going slightly mad, but there is a guy who is known to me. He has a girlfriend whom every man seems to covet. I myself have no interest. What keeps me up at night ruminating is the Master's in Applied Physical Oceanography that he is currently undertaking. Images of him mapping the sea bed flash through my mind as I sit up in the early morning darkness, visions of him using Matlab to mathematically model a complex dataset cause me to suddenly grasp a sheet in jealousy. Clearly he has something that I want, I just can't quite put my finger on what it is.
OK, again I had more to talk about, but I need bed. I'm going to crack if I hold out any longer. Until the next crazy time.
In job news, I've received some very good signals from a certain company. Very good signals, but I'm not going to say too much at this point because I don't want to jinx it. If all goes well though, perhaps I'll finally get what I've wanted for so long: the fabled permanent contract. That ultra-rare thing in this uncertain day and age. I can barely contain myself with excitement, finally the stability I've so craved. Everything can potentially change for me then. I can finally get into the driving seat in future negotiations and not grovel and smack myself in the eye with a rock in the hope that they might let me lick car tires for them for 3 weeks in June.
Yes, my confidence is also finally returning to me after far too long. The bad times had ruined me further than I had thought. I realise now what sort of crap I was willing to take from people in recent times without sticking up for myself. Now without thinking about it I find myself lashing out to a degree whenever someone does me an injustice. This is how it should be. Bit by bit I will get it all back. This may mean a shift in the nature of my relationship with some people, but so be it.
One side-effect of this sudden reawakening is that I'm feeling colossal envy over other people's achievements, and I wish to emulate them. I may have failed to become Thor-O-Zeus, but that doesn't mean I should give up trying to better myself a little. The OU's MBA is probably out of reach for now (until I can assemble more funds to pay the eye-popping £18,000 tuition fees), but I have those orphaned Japanese modules that I sat during my last MSc. I could use those as the basis of a part-time BA in Combined Studies. It wouldn't be much of a basis though. I understand that 360 credits are needed for a part-time degree, and those modules I've done are worth 20. I could go for a Certificate of Higher Education at 120 credits, but I'm not sure that's going to sate my cravings to catch up with everyone else. Perhaps I should look into other correspondence courses that I could complete. Perhaps a BA in Japanese by means of self-study could be an option? Or perhaps there's something else that I'm not seeing right now because it's 3 am and my brain has been run over by the maths truck.
Perhaps I'm going slightly mad, but there is a guy who is known to me. He has a girlfriend whom every man seems to covet. I myself have no interest. What keeps me up at night ruminating is the Master's in Applied Physical Oceanography that he is currently undertaking. Images of him mapping the sea bed flash through my mind as I sit up in the early morning darkness, visions of him using Matlab to mathematically model a complex dataset cause me to suddenly grasp a sheet in jealousy. Clearly he has something that I want, I just can't quite put my finger on what it is.
OK, again I had more to talk about, but I need bed. I'm going to crack if I hold out any longer. Until the next crazy time.