Curses...
No sooner had I vowed to not let anything interfere with my exams, I fell ill to something potent enough to leave me in bed, writhing in pain and unable to take any food or liquids. Net result is that I missed half my exams, and the one exam I did subsequently take (in sick bay) may have gone quite wrong. It seems I'm jinxed to always have my degrees derailed by something. Where finally I found the strength not to let it be a woman (who may or may not have 100% of the power), it was a physical illness instead. My dreams of proving myself to be more than my record suggests are on a knife edge. I'm not saying it's now beyond me, but... things have been made significantly more difficult. Unbelievable. Do I need to become sort of emotionless non-corporeal energy being to finally get a clear run? Bleh. There's no choice right now anyway. I have a few days to lick my wounds, then I carry on. Damn it, if I'm going down, I'm going down with all my guns blazing.
The next few days may not be a treat though. There's a party on Thursday night that I'm expected to attend. Certain individuals will be present. I may not like it. I have been ill, I could make my excuses, but perhaps I'll be making excuses for the rest of my life after that. Perhaps I should just take it. Go and take it, take it clean to the face. This year has been so intense, I can't believe it. I imagine that before people are celebrating new year's eve and putting this year to bed, I'll have (for better or worse) lived more in one year than I have in the past four years combined.
Truly, there ain't no brakes on this train. I only hope I can live with the destination.
The next few days may not be a treat though. There's a party on Thursday night that I'm expected to attend. Certain individuals will be present. I may not like it. I have been ill, I could make my excuses, but perhaps I'll be making excuses for the rest of my life after that. Perhaps I should just take it. Go and take it, take it clean to the face. This year has been so intense, I can't believe it. I imagine that before people are celebrating new year's eve and putting this year to bed, I'll have (for better or worse) lived more in one year than I have in the past four years combined.
Truly, there ain't no brakes on this train. I only hope I can live with the destination.