From Being Gone - Chapter 4
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Title: From Being Gone
Author(s): Lynders11
Fandom: The Hollows
Summary: Rachel leaves for two weeks to attend her brothers wedding and see her mom settled at her new place. What happens when she gets back after spending more time away from Ivy than ever before? This takes place after WWBC, so some spoilers are included
Disclaimer: All characters, and the world they are set in belong to Kim Harrison. I just wanted to write.
Notes: Thanks to Ablatedcrayon for the Beta and all your help. You’re awesome!!
CHAPTER 4
Being in the garden had definitely relaxed me. Digging my fingers into the soil had given me such a sudden release from my tension that I still felt somewhat light-headed and fuzzy. Unfortunately, realizing that I was an hour later than what I had told Ivy would be was starting to make me tense once again. I really wanted to get through tonight without screwing up again, I sighed to myself as I hurried through the back door.
“Ivy! Are you in here?” Leaving muddy footprints behind me, I dashed down the hall into the kitchen looking for any sign of Ivy. I saw her standing at the sink, rinsing out the coffee pot before placing it back on the now cool burner. I rushed to apologize before she could say anything about how late I was, “Ivy, I’m so sorry, I lost all track of time out there.”
“Rachel, calm down, it’s ok. Seriously, it’s not like either of us have to head to bed anytime soon. What’s an extra hour?” She smiled at me to show me the truth of her words. Standing there, looking at the smile on her face, I felt my breath catch in my throat. God, she is beautiful. She had her hair tied back showing off her long graceful neck. She wore a pair of comfortable jeans that hugged her just right and rode low on her hips. The black T-shirt that she wore was loose enough to be comfortable but fitted enough to show off her sleek torso. The shirt rode up just enough to show a glimpse of skin at her back as she reached over the sink to set our mugs back in the cupboard. She was the quintessential embodiment of casual comfort, but I could barely breathe from the beauty of her.
“Ivy,” I breathed, surprising myself. I hadn’t intended to speak.
Glancing away from what she was doing, she quirked a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me and said, “Yeah?” in a somewhat confused tone.
“Uh, noth…nothing. I was just going to say that I was sorry for taking so long out there.”
“Rache you ok?” She sounded amused though still looked slightly confused. “You already apologized; I already said it was really ok. I came to see what was keeping you about a half hour ago, I saw that you were lost in your own little world so I just left you there. I figured you probably needed it and would come in when you were ready.”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, garden was nice.” Come on Rache, full sentences, jeez. Clearing my throat, I continued, “I mean, yes, it was really nice to get back into the garden. Robbie lives in a condo and he barely had potted herbs in his place, let alone a full garden like we have. I really missed it. The feel of the dirt between my toes and the sun on my face…” Realizing that I was now rambling I stopped then dropped my eyes and added, “I, uh, will just go get cleaned up and then we can take off. Kay?” I could feel the blush creeping up my neck. Soon my face would be brighter than my unruly hair.
“Sure, that’s fine. Like I said, there’s no real rush, I’ll go get changed into my leathers and then find you the other helmet.”
“Why do you need to change? You look beaut- er ah-good as you are. I don’t think you should change.” When did I start thinking I had the right to tell Ivy what she should or shouldn’t wear? When did I start caring about what Ivy wore? Come on, Brain wake up! It wasn’t that relaxing out there.
Blushing profusely now I started to leave the kitchen when I heard, “Okaaay, I’ll just grab the helmet and the jackets then.” With a curious look in my direction she walked past me to head out to the sanctuary where I had stored the helmet. Her passage stirred the air leaving the smell of wood ash and incense in her wake. I found myself closing my eyes and smiling as I breathed her in. I leaned forward trying to catch more of her scent as she disappeared into her room and nearly stumbled.
Catching myself I opened my eyes and slowly blinked twice. What the hell is going on with me? Damn vamp pheromones. Even to my own ears that excuse sounded weak. Ivy had been relaxed and alone in the kitchen when I came in. She would have had no reason to pump enough pheromones to fill the room, and I hadn’t gotten close enough to her to be affected by any she may have been giving off sub-consciously. Not until she walked past anyway. It wasn’t the pheromones that had me going all can’t-get-enough-of-everything-Ivy just now. Then what was it? Again, self-realization would have to wait ‘til later, right then I had to get cleaned up to go.
Walking into my room I saw Rex fast asleep right smack dab in the middle of my bed, nested in my tousled sheet. A floor board creaked underfoot and she raised her head giving me a cant-you-see-I’m-sleeping-here look. “Stupid cat, it’s my room,” I said under my breath so she wouldn’t get mad and leave. She was kinda cute, even when she was being bitchy.
“What’s that?” I heard Ivy shout from the sanctuary.
“Nothing, I was just talking to Rex. Give me a minute; I’ll be right out.” Grabbing a face cloth and some clean clothes I ran to my bathroom to try and get most of the dirt off of me. I would need a shower before the show, but for right now I was in a hurry. I ran the cloth under the tap and used it to wash my hands, face, and arms as best I could. Once I finished I dropped my pants and stripped off my shirt and left them both to puddle on the floor. I could pick them up later. I quickly dressed again in a pair of jeans and a white long sleeved shirt before running out to the foyer to meet Ivy.
“You look good for someone that was covered in dirt five minutes ago.” Ivy drawled as I slid on my leather riding jacket and accepted my helmet from her. She had bought them for me last Solstice in the hopes that I would ride with her again. I had thanked her but flatly refused to ever again get on her bike. The fact that I had suggested today’s ride spoke volumes about how sorry I was for earlier.
“Don’t I always?” I sassed with a grin on my face.
She smiled and turned to head outside. “Yes you do. Sometimes, even good enough to eat.” She chuckled and my grin grew. A year ago, a comment like that would have sent me running for my splat gun. Now, I just found it amusing. This was smart-ass Ivy and I loved it when she got like this. It meant she was relaxed and happy, and I have to say it was exactly the mood I wanted her in before I got onto her damn bike.
I sighed and followed her out the door. There, on the sidewalk in front of our step was Ivy’s baby. She must have had it detailed recently because even in the poor light of the setting sun it shone like it was in its own personal spotlight. The bike never failed to remind me of Ivy. Dark, gorgeous, powerful as all hell, and it was fully equipped with the ability to scare the crap out of me. It completely suited her. I so did not want to get on it.
She lifted the bike and swung the kickstand up before pushing it out onto the street. She made it look so easy. I knew that bike easily weighed twice my body weight. The one time I had no choice but to move it myself, I nearly fell over. With the feline grace that seemed to define Ivy, she settled the bike between her legs and motioned for me to hurry up and get on.
“So you’re sure I’m forgiven, right?” I asked before swinging my leg over and leaning back so she could finish settling herself in front of me.
“Scared Rache?” Her visor was down, but I could tell she was laughing at me.
“Yeah, actually, I am. A little. Not all of us get a second chance at this whole life thing ya know.”
“I would never hurt you. You know that.” I could still hear the barely suppressed laughter in her voice, and I could just imagine the mock-serious face she was trying to pull off.
“Ya, I know that but I also know that you aren’t above trying to make me pee my pants either. Just because you have amazing reflexes and can dodge practically everything doesn’t mean the guy behind us does. Or beside us, or in front of us.” I whined, trying to get her to promise me a tame ride. I knew it wouldn’t work but I had to try.
I felt the bike rumble to life beneath me and gasped in spite of myself. She flipped her visor up and leaned to the side so she could see me. “Remember to hang on tight, Rache and you will be juuuuust fine. I promise.” With that, she winked at me, closed her visor, clicked something on my helmet and gunned the engine. I threw my arms around her and held on with a strength borne of fear and desperation only seconds before she popped the clutch, and we shot off at break-neck speeds.
I closed my eyes as soon as I felt the bike lurch into motion. Quickly realizing that having that this was only making my fear worse, I opened them. I was immediately confused by what I saw. The world seemed to be on a tilt. Carefully peeking around Ivy, never once loosening my vise-like grip on her, I saw why. When she popped the clutch, she sent the front tire into the air and caused the bike to catwalk. I didn’t think it was possible but my vise-like grip tightened, becoming something more of a death grip and I felt Ivy stiffen as if I had caused her pain. I was too scared to care if I was holding on too tight and soon she eased up on the throttle and let the front tire return to the ground. Where it belonged.
Coming down from the catwalk was nearly as bad as realizing we were doing one. The front tire slammed down driving my helmet into Ivy’s back. Serves her right, I’m not going to apologize, and I don’t care if I’m being petty. Besides, she would never hear me over the bike and the wind anyway. Does she really have to drive this fast? I mean really, she accuses me of being the adrenaline junky? This is just too much. Oh god, I think I might be sick. I really don’t want to throw up in my helmet.
Desperately trying to quell my fear, or at least get some kind of grip on it so that I could settle my stomach, I concentrated very hard on my breathing and on Ivy. Solid, dependable, protective Ivy. She wouldn’t let anything happen to me. Breathe in one, two, three. Breathe out one, two, three. Ivy made me feel safe. I mean, she still scared me sometimes, but more often than not, she is the one I turn to when I need to feel safe. Breathe in one, two, three. Breathe out one, two, three. Being here this close to her, I should be able to capture some of that feeling, despite the fact that we were flying down the road far to close to other vehicles and……Was that a mailbox? Ok, ok just breathe in one, two, three. Breathe out one, two, three. Just focus on Ivy, Rache, and you will get through this. Remember her smile when you suggested the ride? It was radiant, and even with its hint of evil, it was still beautiful. Focus on that, focus on Ivy.
Ivy had relaxed since I had made myself loosen my grip and was obviously enjoying the ride. I think she had moved past the whole let’s-scare-the-bejeezus-out-of-Rachel part of the trip and was now just losing herself in the feel of her bike. I could feel the muscles of her back bunch and stretch against my chest as she steered around obstacles and her legs shift against the insides of my thighs as she occasionally adjusted slightly for balance. I kept my helmeted head against her back, just between her shoulder blades and if I concentrated hard enough I could block out the peripheral images of the things we were rushing past. Breathe in one, two, three. Breathe out one, two, three. It had become my mantra but I was starting to relax enough that it was becoming more of a background music than a chant in my head now as I began to convince myself I was safe, wrapped around Ivy.
Breathe in one, two, three. Breathe out one, two, three. Despite the circumstances, I was enjoying being able to be this close to Ivy. She generally kept herself at such a distance. Not just physically but emotionally too. She loved to ride, and I was extremely pleased that I got to share something with her that brought her so much joy. Even if it ends up making me pee myself. Oh, wouldn’t she find that endlessly amusing. She would tell Jenks and then I would never live it down. Nope, not going to let myself lose it, that’s all there is to it. I wished we could touch more often. A hand on a shoulder in support or a hug for reassurance and comfort would be more than welcome. She wouldn’t allow it though. When I touch her she runs. If I manage to hug her, she goes stiff as a board and then runs when I let her go. I really wish we could touch more.
When I was curled into a ball on the kitchen floor in pain and shame, all I wanted was for her to come and hold me and make everything better. To let me know that she didn’t think I was foul and dirty for the things that I had, had to do. I could really get used to being this close to Ivy. My mind flashed to the one instance I had let myself briefly fantasize about moving our relationship to the level Ivy wanted. Now, I wondered again at what it would be like to crawl into bed with her or wake up beside her. She would be beautiful, I was sure of it.
What would it be like to walk into my bedroom and pull back the sheets to find her there sleeping peacefully? She would roll over and look at me sleepily, and then a smile would light up her face. The one that is so full of hope and happiness and sheer joy. The one that makes my heart stop in my chest every time I get even the slightest hint of it beamed in my direction. What would it be like to lay down next to her, have her wrap her arms around me so that I could curl into her chest and sleep in a warm, loving embrace. She feels for me like none of the men I have ever dated did. She truly loves me. What would it be like to lay with someone that truly, unabashedly loves me the way she does? What would it be like to feel her strong arms wrapped around me and her porcelain smooth skin against my own? To feel the warmth of her body pressed against mine and the heat of her breath stirring my hair? To feel her lips as they pressed against my forehead in a sleepy greeting? It would feel like coming home from being gone too long. It would feel like heaven. It would feel like happiness.
I moaned Ivy’s name aloud at the feelings my thoughts were creating in me. There was a tightening low in my stomach and a sudden feeling of breathlessness. I was now doubly glad for the noise of the engine and the wind. I was glad that the slight tightening of my arms and the pounding of my heart could be explained by my obvious fear of the ride. Shockingly enough the ride isn’t what is scaring me anymore, now it’s my own thoughts. Suddenly I could hear her voice as if she were inside my head. “Rache? You ok?” What the hell? Why can I hear her so clearly?
“Why can I hear you so clearly?” I shouted and felt her wince in my arms.
“You don’t need to yell Rachel, there are microphones and speakers in the helmets so we can talk.” Oh God, she heard the moan. And it had been a moan, not a groan-big difference there. Oh God, it wasn’t just a moan; I had said her name. All of the feelings I had been having were in those two syllables. Apparently I wasn’t as safe in my own thoughts as I had assumed.
“Oh. Uh, ok.” I said at a closer to normal volume. “Yeah, I’m fine. I, uh, think I may be getting some motion sickness is all. Sorry I didn’t realize you could hear me. I will be fine in a minute.”
“Ok.” She sounded unsure-like she thought that I was lying but couldn’t prove it.
What is going on with me? Ivy is my friend, why was I just fantasizing about lying in bed with her? Am I really starting to see her as more than just a friend? Do I want more with her than what I have? If so, then I would have to be sure before I do anything about it. It would be cruel to use Ivy as an experiment, or to try something out that I wasn’t completely sure about. I did love her. She was my best friend, and I did love her. Yes, but are you now in love with her?
“We’re here.” Ivy said into my ear, startling me out of my reverie. I sighed because yet again, self-realization would have to wait. Right now I needed to be ‘normal Rachel’ and go pick out a movie with Ivy. And a cartoon, I sighed again; it’s going to be a long night.