i've got sunshine
Right, so. I am in Florida right now with my family, hijacking my mom's computer and writing in the safety of my room in the resort. We went through the horrible Car Ride From Hell to get here. It wouldn't actually be so horrible if my dad wasn't involved. He has this way of making absolutely everything miserable just by opening his mouth and letting his opinions be known. It helps that he has every type of privilege on the chart and likes to wave it around as much as he can.
Yesterday, he saw a car made up to look like a Monster Truck and painted cotton candy blue, with Now and Later candies and logo airbrushed on it. This was a COOL CAR. It also seemed capable of bouncing up and down when it took a mind to. I thought to myself: 'cool car.' My dad said: "That's a ghetto car. It's a ghetto car. That car is ghetto. It's a ghettomobile." About twenty times. Really. While Nicole was talking about how cool it was, he kept saying that over and over. And then went: "Oh, there's black people driving it." WTF.
Another moment was when my sister started speaking Spanish with my mother, trying to get help with her paper. (Nicole speaks fluent Spanish and is taking another Spanish class at school.) My dad made obnoxious gibberish noises and said that she'd better watch out or homeland security would pull us over and demand to see proof of residence. Wow. How fucking funny, dad. Way to deride our culture, our language, and the suffering of Latin@s everywhere. You asshole.
So yes, every car ride is a new and exciting experience in douchebagdom. That said, I'm glad I took the separate apartment with Nicole and my nephew. Parent-free! I will in fact be blockaded in here all of Thanksgiving day, since I am not a pool person. Interestingly enough, I find myself hitting theme parks this visit. Usually we don't, possibly because of the price, possibly because my family seemed burned out on them, and possibly because my mom's a lousy planner. (I love her, but there you go. Vacations are more spontaneous with her.)
Yesterday, we visited Universal Studios, which was okay. I miss out on a lot of the fun by being allergic to roller coasters. They make me puke and stay nauseous for hours, and I'd like to spend my day in a state of apparent health. I went on the ET ride twice, went to see 4DShrek, which was a simulator ride/movie, went shopping in various stores, and watched my nephew play in Fievel's playground. I love American Tale, I really do, but that is old. I'd be surprised if any of the kids knew what it was, especially since it was themed Fievel Goes West, the sequel to American Tale.
I also paid five bucks to climb a wall. It was set up like a rock-climbing wall, only with bricks and ladders and stuff to climb up on. You'd go all the way up and ring the bell. When I was at the top, I turned around so my mom could see my face, and realized: 'holy shit, I am actually pretty high up here!' I was very good about not looking down on my way to the top. I took the easier wall to climb, since it was raining and the walls were slippery, which made it really hard to get a grip. Still got it on the first try, despite friction's attempts to thwart me.
Today we are going to Islands of Adventure, which seems to have a Harry Potter themed area. My sisters are big into Harry Potter, now that it's a movie. I, who was deemed a geek when it was just a book phenomenon, can't help but be aware of the irony. I can't wait until someone manages to turn D&D into a huge movie deal (a GOOD one,) and watch my sisters fall in love with the franchise. I need a grumpy nerd shirt that says: "I liked it before it was cool."
Yesterday, he saw a car made up to look like a Monster Truck and painted cotton candy blue, with Now and Later candies and logo airbrushed on it. This was a COOL CAR. It also seemed capable of bouncing up and down when it took a mind to. I thought to myself: 'cool car.' My dad said: "That's a ghetto car. It's a ghetto car. That car is ghetto. It's a ghettomobile." About twenty times. Really. While Nicole was talking about how cool it was, he kept saying that over and over. And then went: "Oh, there's black people driving it." WTF.
Another moment was when my sister started speaking Spanish with my mother, trying to get help with her paper. (Nicole speaks fluent Spanish and is taking another Spanish class at school.) My dad made obnoxious gibberish noises and said that she'd better watch out or homeland security would pull us over and demand to see proof of residence. Wow. How fucking funny, dad. Way to deride our culture, our language, and the suffering of Latin@s everywhere. You asshole.
So yes, every car ride is a new and exciting experience in douchebagdom. That said, I'm glad I took the separate apartment with Nicole and my nephew. Parent-free! I will in fact be blockaded in here all of Thanksgiving day, since I am not a pool person. Interestingly enough, I find myself hitting theme parks this visit. Usually we don't, possibly because of the price, possibly because my family seemed burned out on them, and possibly because my mom's a lousy planner. (I love her, but there you go. Vacations are more spontaneous with her.)
Yesterday, we visited Universal Studios, which was okay. I miss out on a lot of the fun by being allergic to roller coasters. They make me puke and stay nauseous for hours, and I'd like to spend my day in a state of apparent health. I went on the ET ride twice, went to see 4DShrek, which was a simulator ride/movie, went shopping in various stores, and watched my nephew play in Fievel's playground. I love American Tale, I really do, but that is old. I'd be surprised if any of the kids knew what it was, especially since it was themed Fievel Goes West, the sequel to American Tale.
I also paid five bucks to climb a wall. It was set up like a rock-climbing wall, only with bricks and ladders and stuff to climb up on. You'd go all the way up and ring the bell. When I was at the top, I turned around so my mom could see my face, and realized: 'holy shit, I am actually pretty high up here!' I was very good about not looking down on my way to the top. I took the easier wall to climb, since it was raining and the walls were slippery, which made it really hard to get a grip. Still got it on the first try, despite friction's attempts to thwart me.
Today we are going to Islands of Adventure, which seems to have a Harry Potter themed area. My sisters are big into Harry Potter, now that it's a movie. I, who was deemed a geek when it was just a book phenomenon, can't help but be aware of the irony. I can't wait until someone manages to turn D&D into a huge movie deal (a GOOD one,) and watch my sisters fall in love with the franchise. I need a grumpy nerd shirt that says: "I liked it before it was cool."