we have stubbornness issues
I was asked to go see 'How To Train Your Dragon' by a friend yesterday, and accepted the invitation. This is the guy who, I'm pretty sure, used to invite me to dinner and movies all the time in order to attempt to get into my pants, but I'm pretty sure this was not the case this time, as he allowed me to buy my own ticket and popcorn without any fight at all. Thank god. Yeah, he's one of those idiots who thinks that buying stuff for the date means the date is obligated at some point later to 'pay up' with sex. Bah. And Patrick wonders why I was so hypersensitive about allowing any man to buy me anything when they first met me.
I have to admit, I liked it enough for the price of the ticket. It wasn't a GOOD movie at all, but it had dragons. It was full of snarky quips from the narrating sarcastic teenager, it had dragons, which I love, and I did enjoy the dragon design. And yes, I'm a sucker for friendly dragons. I LOVE misunderstood, friendly dragons. Especially when they're little, black, puppy-eyed BADASSES who shoot purple plasma.
I mean, LOOK AT THIS. It's just so damn cute. Props on the character design for those responsible, Dreamworks. And way to go on animating those expressions, because Toothless (the dragon), is full of lovely adorable expressions. He's like a kitten mixed with a reptile mixed with a human being.
Now, the plot is fairly simplistic. It's a Viking village on an island in the middle of god knows where, routinely pillaged and attacked by dragons. They could move, but they're Vikings. "We have... stubbornness issues."
The main character, Hiccup, is a bumbling geek who is lacking in physique and overflowing with creativity. This makes a lot of stuff explode as people misinterpret his intellect and creativity as trouble-making and destructive behavior. Think Flik from A Bug's Life. No one likes this kid at all, although the seething mass of villager hatred is often portrayed humorously. I, personally, am a little tired of All of the Other Reindeer as a trope, because it makes everyone else look like douchebags or permissive, enabling douchebags, and the main character seem like Jesus for turning around and forgiving them afterwards. Still, I am totally used to this angle, and it's just a minor irritant for me.
So, Hiccup wants to be an awesome dragon slayer to get respect and a girlfriend. His father, the beefy, stoic, disapproving father, refuses to allow him to go through training because his son is clearly a toothpick. Hiccup's actual father figure, the stern-but-lovable blacksmith and dragon-killing teacher, finally persuades Fatherly Jerkface to allow Hiccup to train. Unfortunately, this all happens AFTER Hiccup captured a dragon and found himself unable to kill it in cold blood. So, he gets shoved into the fighting ring with his peers (who hate his skinny guts), and naturally is total pants at it. Meanwhile, he builds up his friendship with Toothless, the dragon.
Toothless was crippled after being injured by Hiccup, and the boy spends a lot of free time making a device to help him fly again. And, quite naturally, learns to ride him while he's at it, since the design of the faux-wing can't unfold without help. As he does this, he learns a lot about dragons (dragon catnip, how they are utterly repulsed by eels, and where to scratch them so they pass out with ecstasy.) He takes these skills to the ring and becomes triumphant. Unfortunately...he has to slay a dragon.
I'm going to say here that the plot is predictable, the message is predictable, and everything about this movie has been done before. Did I think it was cute and endearing? Yes. Did I like the dragons? Oh, come on. I love dragons. I thought the animation and art was great, and I did like the snarky commentary Hiccup kept feeding us. However, the whole thing was pretty much classic, cut-and-paste plot. Misunderstood monster race meets heroic, understanding human being, the two species end up coexisting.
I liked Hiccup, because I just tend to like awkward, bumbling geeks. Add that to being a male character who is completely nonviolent, won't murder, and is more of a medic/engineer than a warrior? I am a fan. I liked that they didn't shy away from having him lose his foot from the battle, giving him an artificial limb to help stand. I liked his reaction- how he was quietly upset, but didn't go into throes of miseries about it, and how he was shown living his normal life afterwards, unimpeded. No one threw themselves down in horror over him losing a foot, it was just...one of those things. Accept it, move on, live life, and have fun with it! He and his dragon were like anti-ableist buddies. His voice, though. AUUUGH. Sometimes it made my ears hurt.
As for female characters, there's one main love interest, one secondary twin, and a bunch of scattered female warriors. I do like that they showed female warriors, but I really would have liked a more equal distribution, seeing that the whole island fights for their land- women and children as well.
I did not like the way they handled Astrid. She is equal parts The Girl and Ineffectual Female Warrior. Which is to say, they gave her amazing combat ability, but we never see it in action. She's supposed to be the best dragon-killer amongst the youth, but she is constantly cockblocked by Hiccup's nonviolent methods of taking down dragons. Happily, she KNOWS she's being cockblocked, gets pissed off about it, and stalks Hiccup to find out just what the blue hell is going on that made him suddenly so amazing. Still, the film throws Hiccup and Astrid together with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, treats the girl like a prize for the happy ending, has her kissing him for no apparent reason, and basically makes me want to rip my hair out.
The treatment of Astrid was, sadly, my least favorite part of the film. I can sacrifice cunning plots when I'm watching a film aimed at kids- I mean, fine. The plot's going to be simple, and so are the characters. I watch it for the warm and fluffy, the humor, and the nifty dragons. But screw over the ladies, and I twitch. It's sad, because their movie Monsters vs. Aliens was very female-positive. Where did you go wrong, Dreamworks?
Before watching the movie, I had to undergo the torture that was the preview for Avatar: The Last Airbender. ASDFGHJKL. WHO THOUGHT ANY OF THIS SHIT WAS A GOOD IDEA. It was horrendous. The acting was horrendous. The casting was horrendous. Aang's VOICE was horrendous. The complete humorless approach was horrendous. Katara and Sokka's blaring Caucasian-ness was atrocious. I hope this sucker falls down and burns so badly. I don't care if people think I'm a 'bad fan' for wanting this poisonous piece of the franchise dead.
Just...seeing that and the big, cardboard movie prop in the hallway to the theater made me realize that this is really happening. All the protest and fan outrage has done absolutely nothing. M. Night has seriously made this putrid piece of shit, and it's really coming out into theaters.
Is anyone going to picket or hand out flyers outside the theaters?
I have to admit, I liked it enough for the price of the ticket. It wasn't a GOOD movie at all, but it had dragons. It was full of snarky quips from the narrating sarcastic teenager, it had dragons, which I love, and I did enjoy the dragon design. And yes, I'm a sucker for friendly dragons. I LOVE misunderstood, friendly dragons. Especially when they're little, black, puppy-eyed BADASSES who shoot purple plasma.
I mean, LOOK AT THIS. It's just so damn cute. Props on the character design for those responsible, Dreamworks. And way to go on animating those expressions, because Toothless (the dragon), is full of lovely adorable expressions. He's like a kitten mixed with a reptile mixed with a human being.
Now, the plot is fairly simplistic. It's a Viking village on an island in the middle of god knows where, routinely pillaged and attacked by dragons. They could move, but they're Vikings. "We have... stubbornness issues."
The main character, Hiccup, is a bumbling geek who is lacking in physique and overflowing with creativity. This makes a lot of stuff explode as people misinterpret his intellect and creativity as trouble-making and destructive behavior. Think Flik from A Bug's Life. No one likes this kid at all, although the seething mass of villager hatred is often portrayed humorously. I, personally, am a little tired of All of the Other Reindeer as a trope, because it makes everyone else look like douchebags or permissive, enabling douchebags, and the main character seem like Jesus for turning around and forgiving them afterwards. Still, I am totally used to this angle, and it's just a minor irritant for me.
So, Hiccup wants to be an awesome dragon slayer to get respect and a girlfriend. His father, the beefy, stoic, disapproving father, refuses to allow him to go through training because his son is clearly a toothpick. Hiccup's actual father figure, the stern-but-lovable blacksmith and dragon-killing teacher, finally persuades Fatherly Jerkface to allow Hiccup to train. Unfortunately, this all happens AFTER Hiccup captured a dragon and found himself unable to kill it in cold blood. So, he gets shoved into the fighting ring with his peers (who hate his skinny guts), and naturally is total pants at it. Meanwhile, he builds up his friendship with Toothless, the dragon.
Toothless was crippled after being injured by Hiccup, and the boy spends a lot of free time making a device to help him fly again. And, quite naturally, learns to ride him while he's at it, since the design of the faux-wing can't unfold without help. As he does this, he learns a lot about dragons (dragon catnip, how they are utterly repulsed by eels, and where to scratch them so they pass out with ecstasy.) He takes these skills to the ring and becomes triumphant. Unfortunately...he has to slay a dragon.
I'm going to say here that the plot is predictable, the message is predictable, and everything about this movie has been done before. Did I think it was cute and endearing? Yes. Did I like the dragons? Oh, come on. I love dragons. I thought the animation and art was great, and I did like the snarky commentary Hiccup kept feeding us. However, the whole thing was pretty much classic, cut-and-paste plot. Misunderstood monster race meets heroic, understanding human being, the two species end up coexisting.
I liked Hiccup, because I just tend to like awkward, bumbling geeks. Add that to being a male character who is completely nonviolent, won't murder, and is more of a medic/engineer than a warrior? I am a fan. I liked that they didn't shy away from having him lose his foot from the battle, giving him an artificial limb to help stand. I liked his reaction- how he was quietly upset, but didn't go into throes of miseries about it, and how he was shown living his normal life afterwards, unimpeded. No one threw themselves down in horror over him losing a foot, it was just...one of those things. Accept it, move on, live life, and have fun with it! He and his dragon were like anti-ableist buddies. His voice, though. AUUUGH. Sometimes it made my ears hurt.
As for female characters, there's one main love interest, one secondary twin, and a bunch of scattered female warriors. I do like that they showed female warriors, but I really would have liked a more equal distribution, seeing that the whole island fights for their land- women and children as well.
I did not like the way they handled Astrid. She is equal parts The Girl and Ineffectual Female Warrior. Which is to say, they gave her amazing combat ability, but we never see it in action. She's supposed to be the best dragon-killer amongst the youth, but she is constantly cockblocked by Hiccup's nonviolent methods of taking down dragons. Happily, she KNOWS she's being cockblocked, gets pissed off about it, and stalks Hiccup to find out just what the blue hell is going on that made him suddenly so amazing. Still, the film throws Hiccup and Astrid together with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, treats the girl like a prize for the happy ending, has her kissing him for no apparent reason, and basically makes me want to rip my hair out.
The treatment of Astrid was, sadly, my least favorite part of the film. I can sacrifice cunning plots when I'm watching a film aimed at kids- I mean, fine. The plot's going to be simple, and so are the characters. I watch it for the warm and fluffy, the humor, and the nifty dragons. But screw over the ladies, and I twitch. It's sad, because their movie Monsters vs. Aliens was very female-positive. Where did you go wrong, Dreamworks?
Before watching the movie, I had to undergo the torture that was the preview for Avatar: The Last Airbender. ASDFGHJKL. WHO THOUGHT ANY OF THIS SHIT WAS A GOOD IDEA. It was horrendous. The acting was horrendous. The casting was horrendous. Aang's VOICE was horrendous. The complete humorless approach was horrendous. Katara and Sokka's blaring Caucasian-ness was atrocious. I hope this sucker falls down and burns so badly. I don't care if people think I'm a 'bad fan' for wanting this poisonous piece of the franchise dead.
Just...seeing that and the big, cardboard movie prop in the hallway to the theater made me realize that this is really happening. All the protest and fan outrage has done absolutely nothing. M. Night has seriously made this putrid piece of shit, and it's really coming out into theaters.
Is anyone going to picket or hand out flyers outside the theaters?