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I can't decide if I'm not in a relationship because of circumstances or because I refuse to let myself get close to anyone. I won't even let myself get remotely interested. This used to be because I was so terrified of rejection, now it's a more cynical reason
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Seriously I think we are the same person sometimes. I have the same issues as well. I can't let anyone in just because I'm scared of being used. When I do make "friends" I just throw myself in full force so they will like me and I will not be rejected or in hopes of not being mistreated. But in every relationship both sides must provide something. If you exhaust yourself in keeping others happy it will literally tear you down. You will just expect the same kind of treatment and in some cases you will never get it in return making you just feel used and abused. But don't be scared to change that! People should love you for you if not fuck them. Let me tell you... the you i see it's pretty damn cool. I have pets because of that too. I want something that will love me regardless and not judge me. But you know Sarah, I will love you and never judge you regardless as well. We NEED to hang out more and not go over the top for each other... just be chill and hang out. If you ever need to talk call/text me ANYTIME! I'm here for you now and always.
Love you,
Ash
ps we have been through a bunch together and you have seriously helped me with things that I never thought I could defeat. I thank you for that.
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