Thunderstorm - Dean/Gabriel
Title: Thunderstorm
Supernatural: Dean/Gabriel
Written by OpheliacAngel
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Rating: Teen
Summary: During a fierce thunderstorm, Dean dreams of hell. Except this time, it feels like more than just a dream. And luckily Gabriel is there to comfort him in every way possible. Dean/Gabriel. Nothing explicit. Don't like, don't read.
The lights are off and the night is dark, the only thing occasionally lighting up the room being the sharp and fierce lightning. Dean huddles under the thick blankets and shivers, waiting for his archangel to come home. It’s going to be a long night. It’s already midnight and he’s been lying in the bed for an hour unable to sleep. Usually he can sleep without his love here but not tonight. Not amidst this nightmare. Outside thunder sounds and he jumps, can see a bright light through the small window a few feet from his head. When he shuts his eyes he jumps again, seeing flashes of a hell long gone. He shoves the blankets off when he feels the oppressive and familiar burning heat of hell and whimpers, telling himself not to close his eyes again. On nights like these Gabriel tells him to be calm, and usually he can in the archangel’s presence. But not tonight, tonight he screams inwardly.
But he won’t call out for him because he’s busy and Dean is sick, so sick of being afraid. He thought he could handle this tonight, watched the news of a storm coming and took a deep breath, preparing himself for the hours to come, alone and frightened. But he was wrong. This is the first time he’s truly been alone and he feels far from calm, far from safe. Tonight is too soon. He needs Gabriel for this but he still forbids himself to call out. He thought he had left hell behind, the majority of the nightmares are gone now. Gabriel had done that for him. But every time a storm approaches, no matter how small he remembers. He remembers everything. The pain, the blood, the emptiness, the sorrow. The complete and utter lack of hope, ripped completely out of his body as if it were never there. The lightning is the worse, the sound sending him back to the pit’s depths and leaving him stranded there helpless. The bright light reminds him of Gabriel somewhat, but most of the time it is nowhere near comforting.
He screams no and flinches, opening his eyes once more. He can still feel his skin peeling off and he shivers. He is burning hot from hell and at the same time freezing cold from the lack of Gabriel’s touch. Outside the storm rages on, threatening to depart at one moment and coming back abruptly with a sheer black vengeance the next. He feels like he is being sucked into a black hole, his body being tore apart limb from limb. And there is nothing to cease it. He is tired, exhausted to be more to the point, but every time he closes his eyes he can’t sleep and he sees hell. So what is he to do? He hears what sounds like a bomb and he flings himself out of bed, shuddering and whimpering, curls up on the floor like a little girl. He’s crying now and he could care less. Gabriel is not here to make him feel better, he’s not here to take him away from the dark. He’s not here at all. He cries out when his back suddenly bumps up against the wall across from the bed. He curls up against it, sobbing and shrinking away from the window.
He tells himself no, no he can’t call out for Gabriel. He said he would be back soon, whatever soon meant. It was time for Dean to face up to his fears. He was a man, just because he was a human didn’t mean he wasn’t strong. The thunderstorm would probably be gone soon anyway. He could only hope. Hope to no avail.
He is cold now, but he’s too fearful to crawl back to the bed to grab a blanket. Because soon he will be burning hot again, soon hell will be clawing at him, tempting him and forcing him to come away, retreat into the darkness and never come back this time. He knows he won’t be saved this time. Alistair is no doubt waiting for him. His eyes slip closed and the knife is looming towards him, screaming his name and his eyes fling open again. He forces himself to think back to this morning, to the last time he saw Gabriel. The longing for him is desperate now and if he couldn’t have him, he would take his beautiful memory.
“Are you sure you’ll be alright tonight?”
“Yeah. I’ll be fine.”
“I can stay if you want.”
Dean grins inwardly; Gabe would forsake anything and everything for Dean’s well-being. He cares, and that’s part of what makes Dean love him so much. Need him so much.
“News says it’s probably not gonna get that bad anyway.”
He shudders inwardly, straining himself to give off a feeling of confidence to Gabriel but having no doubt he’s utterly failing. He can never keep up a poker face near the archangel.
Gabriel nods, “Just try to get some sleep, those dark circles don’t add to your appearance.”
Dean smiles embarrassingly. He had hoped Gabe wouldn’t notice that too much, he hadn’t been getting much sleep lately. He didn’t know why, maybe he just had too much on his mind. Tonight certainly wouldn’t help either.
Gabriel kisses him tenderly on the cheek, wraps an arm around him briefly, “I’ll be back when I can.”
He departs then, leaving Dean standing alone in the middle of the room. Colder than he ever thought possible.
Hell is coming for him now. He can’t keep his eyes open any longer and the demon Alistair reaches for him, extending his arms to make it look like a mere hug. He screams once, twice, again as the arms reach him and he suddenly can’t breathe anymore. He pleads, no more no more please. As he’s being dragged away from earth, he’s granted one last breath. And he takes it greedily, opening his eyes one last time.
“Gabe!”
When he doesn’t come he sinks further into the floor. It’s over, hell is taking him back and there’s nothing he can do about it. He closes his eyes and loses himself completely.
...
Alistair grins devilishly as he shows off his newest knife in front of him, sharper than anything else he’s ever seen and cold as ice when it slices into his chest. He screams, over and over and over till his voice is hoarse, till the knife pulls away and Alistair plunges it into his eye. The pain is unlike anything, his blood is thick and red and he’s coated with it within seconds. He thinks nothing has changed, he can’t remember ever escaping hell. As far as he’s concerned, he’s never left. He hears a sharp crack in the distance. A whip, a whip that will be turned on him within moments no doubt.
Alistair disappears for a second, leaving the human to writhe and moan, nervously awaiting his inevitable return. He comes back with the whip, cracking it upon Dean’s back before he can fully realize he holds it in the hands coated with his blood. A larger grin and another crack, this time coming from his own back. He screams and pleads for it to stop. Alistair instead takes back his knife and sticks it in his neck. Blood gushes from his throat and he chokes on it. He calls out for Gabriel once more before he fades further back into the darkness. There is no response, nothing but the sound of his blood dripping onto the freezing tile floor that his feet brush upon.
He wakes up moments later to go through the same ordeal again. He shakes his head furiously and pleads more as the whip grinds into his back, leaving him with that empty feeling inside to go with the pain. The empty feeling that no one will ever be coming for him. He is alone again because no one cares for him. No one ever cares about Dean Winchester.
There is a bright white light and it descends towards Alistair at a speed unlike anything Dean has ever witnessed. It leaves Alistair screaming and writhing on the ground, bloody and supposedly dead within moments. He can’t see anything through the light, can only see the true beauty and purity of it. It walks over to him and lays a hand on his wrecked cheek, forcing him to look at it. Dean’s eyes are miraculously not blinded. The light fades slowly, inch by inch, millisecond by millisecond. Gabriel is soon standing there, deep and warm amber eyes boring into his own, and he can’t look away. Wouldn’t want to look away back at hell anyway.
“Come back to me now, Dean. Come back to the light.”
Dean closes his eyes and gives himself fully to the archangel, feels him cut away his chains and catches him before he falls to the cold as death ground. He’s lifted up into warm and golden arms, caressed by the smell of honey and sweet candy. He can’t smile though, as much as he wants to his mouth is cut up and even thinking about smiling causes unbearable pain. He wants to thank him but can’t do that either, so he’ll merely save it for later. Gabriel fades once more back into the blinding light and it lays a hand on his eyes, to shield them from the blood and darkness and pain. The light is gentle and soothing and white with gold around the edges. It is brighter now. Gabriel once told him that an archangel’s light shines brighter with pure purpose. It was bright before, for his purpose was to save the human he loves, meaning Dean. But it is achingly bright now, and Dean knows it’s due to happiness. Gabriel has found him now and he is saving him, taking him back to earth. The light shines even brighter as they fly from hell, for it shines with nothing but love.
“Sleep now. You are safe with me. You are safe.”
He is Gabriel’s now, and he lets him take him away into unconsciousness. He travels further into the light and farther away from the darkness. Hell is a mere memory now. His savior shelters him and flies him away from the bloodshed. His love carries him to safety and the human accepts without a word. There is hope and there is utterly comfortable silence.
...
He opens his eyes and the storm is gone. From his position on the floor he can see the window, soaked in water but no longer shaking. He hears the wind howl but he isn’t reminded of hell. It’s all gone now, the fear and pain and the sight of his blood draining from his body. He is more than relieved when he realizes he can smile again, and he does as soon as he sees Gabriel hovering over him. He looks scared to death and he cradles Dean so close to him the human feels he’s suffocating.
“Oh, Dean, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left you. This is all my fault.”
Dean sighs contentedly and falls back into his archangel. He came back for him, just when he thought he wouldn’t come.
“What took you so long?”
He’s surprised to hear that his voice isn’t even a little hoarse.
“What do you mean?”
A look of horror that is agonizing for Dean to see crosses over Gabriel’s face and lingers there.
“Did you think you were actually in hell?”
When Dean doesn’t deny this, tears fall from the archangel’s eyes and suddenly Dean wishes he had lied, because he doesn’t want to feel this guilt right now. Truth be told, he was almost completely sure he had been in hell. Everything was so real and it was far worse than any of his nightmares so far. And it had lasted so long, even though he had no doubt in his mind that Gabriel would never take that long to come to him. Every time Dean ever whispered his name he was instantly there. So what had happened this time? A thumb strokes his undamaged cheek and he focuses back on the archangel.
“Little one, you must understand. I will never let you go back there again. You hear me? You were just dreaming, sweetheart.”
“Gabe, it felt like an eternity.”
“I only came to you a few seconds after you screamed. You know I always come when you call. I would never leave you.”
Dean hates himself for doubting Gabriel. After all he does for him he had no right, will never have any right to do so. The guilt is nearly overwhelming but with Gabe there smiling and rocking him back and forth it doesn’t last for too long.
His oh so nice warm arms, made of sunshine and happiness, lift him up off the ground and carry him back to bed. Dean can’t believe how fast he’s under the covers. He scoots over to make room for Gabriel as he settles down with him, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer. Dean uses Gabriel’s chest as a pillow and he listens to his savior cry, as much as he tries to hide and suppress it.
“I love you so much. And you’re gonna be okay now. I’m not leaving again.”
Dean smiles and brings up a hand to run through Gabriel’s hair, needing to make sure it’s real and his. Gabe lets him and smiles at him, when he’s done he kisses his hand and strokes Dean’s face. He brushes away the lines of fear and anxiety on his forehead and kisses him slowly. He doesn’t want to go too fast but he can easily see Dean is disappointed. Considering what happened mere minutes ago he thought Dean would want to rest. But apparently not. His human kisses him back, hard and desperate. Gabriel’s hands push him a tiny bit away.
“Easy, Deano. No need to overexert yourself, I missed you too.”
But instead of pulling away he pulls Dean closer, grinning and kissing him harder on the lips, having to force himself to pull away so Dean can breathe.
“I love you.”
Dean says it like he’s never said it before, like it really matters this time. And Gabriel doesn’t hesitate. He never does.
“I love you more.”
Dean pulls Gabriel down to meet his lips, and they end up kissing and cuddling until Dean falls asleep, safe as can be in the archangel’s arms.
...
The human wakes up in the morning as if nothing happened, and Gabriel lets it go. For now. He makes Dean breakfast and they have shower sex for about an hour. Gabriel knows Dean is close to begging him not to leave him, but the fact is the archangel never would, never this soon. He assures Dean of this and he can see how utterly relieved he is, how less vulnerable he feels. In fact, he doesn’t plan on leaving Dean for the rest of the week. Hopefully for the next month if he can arrange it.
Truth is, he’s really worried about Dean. The fact that he actually believed he was really in hell probably would paralyze him if he were human, maybe even if he was a mere angel. That his Dean had to not only go through the pain and the fear, but also the loss of hope that he would actually come for him, makes him want to crawl up in a ball on the floor and cry his eyes out, very much in the same way in which he had found Dean. He wants to scream at Dean at multiple moments, demand that he takes it slow, trying to show him he doesn’t have to pretend to be bulletproof. But Gabriel shuts his mouth because his Dean wants to get past this and he won’t deny him. He’ll merely be a shoulder to cry on and as Dean says it, a kick ass awesome cuddlier.
He sighs and glances up from his third cup of coffee to sneak a peek at Dean, watching TV on the couch. He walks over and Dean pats the seat next to him. He sits down and shuts the TV off. Dean would normally protest but this morning he knows what the archangel wants to talk to him about. Knows it is inevitable and unavoidable. And after all Gabe has done for him he will listen. Even though it is painful he will listen.
“I need you to let me in, Dean. I worry so much about you, and now I feel as though I can’t leave you alone.”
“You can. I’ll get better, I promise.”
Gabriel sighs and strokes his cheek, “It’s not about that. It’s about you trusting me.”
“You know I trust you, Gabe. You’re the only one I’ll ever trust. I thought you knew that.”
“I do, Dean. But you’re also not getting the point. There is no sense in you trusting me and me trusting you if you can’t tell me what happened. Let me in. I know it’s hard but I'm here. You know I always will be.”
“I can’t," Dean turns away but Gabriel places a hand on his shoulder, "it’s too painful.”
“And you’ll never move past it if you can’t face it. I saved you last night but what if I’m not able to next time?”
Dean shakes his head violently but the archangel gets into his line of vision and holds his head up, forcing him to look into his eyes. And Dean does.
“You were hyperventilating last night, Dean. This is serious. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw you. You can’t do that to me again.”
Dean finally breaks, “I know. I just don’t know what to do. I’m not strong enough.”
“You are strong. You are the bravest man I’ve ever met, Dean Winchester. I will save you time and time again because I love you. But I need you to be strong now.”
He kisses Dean, “I know you can do it.”
Dean slips his hand into Gabriel’s for support and he squeezes it, smiling as he kisses him on the lips. This time Dean takes it slow, kissing him gently back and lying down on the couch, wrapping himself up in Gabriel’s embrace and finally opening up inside. They talk, they talk and Dean feels a hell of a lot better afterwards.
Somewhere deep inside the human knows his archangel will always be there to chase the demons away. And he now also knows Gabriel will remain by his side to hold his hand through the thunderstorms, chasing away the lightning and embracing Dean with the sweetest light he has ever known. There is hope and there is love, but better than all of that there is Gabe.
FIN
Supernatural: Dean/Gabriel
Written by OpheliacAngel
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Rating: Teen
Summary: During a fierce thunderstorm, Dean dreams of hell. Except this time, it feels like more than just a dream. And luckily Gabriel is there to comfort him in every way possible. Dean/Gabriel. Nothing explicit. Don't like, don't read.
The lights are off and the night is dark, the only thing occasionally lighting up the room being the sharp and fierce lightning. Dean huddles under the thick blankets and shivers, waiting for his archangel to come home. It’s going to be a long night. It’s already midnight and he’s been lying in the bed for an hour unable to sleep. Usually he can sleep without his love here but not tonight. Not amidst this nightmare. Outside thunder sounds and he jumps, can see a bright light through the small window a few feet from his head. When he shuts his eyes he jumps again, seeing flashes of a hell long gone. He shoves the blankets off when he feels the oppressive and familiar burning heat of hell and whimpers, telling himself not to close his eyes again. On nights like these Gabriel tells him to be calm, and usually he can in the archangel’s presence. But not tonight, tonight he screams inwardly.
But he won’t call out for him because he’s busy and Dean is sick, so sick of being afraid. He thought he could handle this tonight, watched the news of a storm coming and took a deep breath, preparing himself for the hours to come, alone and frightened. But he was wrong. This is the first time he’s truly been alone and he feels far from calm, far from safe. Tonight is too soon. He needs Gabriel for this but he still forbids himself to call out. He thought he had left hell behind, the majority of the nightmares are gone now. Gabriel had done that for him. But every time a storm approaches, no matter how small he remembers. He remembers everything. The pain, the blood, the emptiness, the sorrow. The complete and utter lack of hope, ripped completely out of his body as if it were never there. The lightning is the worse, the sound sending him back to the pit’s depths and leaving him stranded there helpless. The bright light reminds him of Gabriel somewhat, but most of the time it is nowhere near comforting.
He screams no and flinches, opening his eyes once more. He can still feel his skin peeling off and he shivers. He is burning hot from hell and at the same time freezing cold from the lack of Gabriel’s touch. Outside the storm rages on, threatening to depart at one moment and coming back abruptly with a sheer black vengeance the next. He feels like he is being sucked into a black hole, his body being tore apart limb from limb. And there is nothing to cease it. He is tired, exhausted to be more to the point, but every time he closes his eyes he can’t sleep and he sees hell. So what is he to do? He hears what sounds like a bomb and he flings himself out of bed, shuddering and whimpering, curls up on the floor like a little girl. He’s crying now and he could care less. Gabriel is not here to make him feel better, he’s not here to take him away from the dark. He’s not here at all. He cries out when his back suddenly bumps up against the wall across from the bed. He curls up against it, sobbing and shrinking away from the window.
He tells himself no, no he can’t call out for Gabriel. He said he would be back soon, whatever soon meant. It was time for Dean to face up to his fears. He was a man, just because he was a human didn’t mean he wasn’t strong. The thunderstorm would probably be gone soon anyway. He could only hope. Hope to no avail.
He is cold now, but he’s too fearful to crawl back to the bed to grab a blanket. Because soon he will be burning hot again, soon hell will be clawing at him, tempting him and forcing him to come away, retreat into the darkness and never come back this time. He knows he won’t be saved this time. Alistair is no doubt waiting for him. His eyes slip closed and the knife is looming towards him, screaming his name and his eyes fling open again. He forces himself to think back to this morning, to the last time he saw Gabriel. The longing for him is desperate now and if he couldn’t have him, he would take his beautiful memory.
“Are you sure you’ll be alright tonight?”
“Yeah. I’ll be fine.”
“I can stay if you want.”
Dean grins inwardly; Gabe would forsake anything and everything for Dean’s well-being. He cares, and that’s part of what makes Dean love him so much. Need him so much.
“News says it’s probably not gonna get that bad anyway.”
He shudders inwardly, straining himself to give off a feeling of confidence to Gabriel but having no doubt he’s utterly failing. He can never keep up a poker face near the archangel.
Gabriel nods, “Just try to get some sleep, those dark circles don’t add to your appearance.”
Dean smiles embarrassingly. He had hoped Gabe wouldn’t notice that too much, he hadn’t been getting much sleep lately. He didn’t know why, maybe he just had too much on his mind. Tonight certainly wouldn’t help either.
Gabriel kisses him tenderly on the cheek, wraps an arm around him briefly, “I’ll be back when I can.”
He departs then, leaving Dean standing alone in the middle of the room. Colder than he ever thought possible.
Hell is coming for him now. He can’t keep his eyes open any longer and the demon Alistair reaches for him, extending his arms to make it look like a mere hug. He screams once, twice, again as the arms reach him and he suddenly can’t breathe anymore. He pleads, no more no more please. As he’s being dragged away from earth, he’s granted one last breath. And he takes it greedily, opening his eyes one last time.
“Gabe!”
When he doesn’t come he sinks further into the floor. It’s over, hell is taking him back and there’s nothing he can do about it. He closes his eyes and loses himself completely.
...
Alistair grins devilishly as he shows off his newest knife in front of him, sharper than anything else he’s ever seen and cold as ice when it slices into his chest. He screams, over and over and over till his voice is hoarse, till the knife pulls away and Alistair plunges it into his eye. The pain is unlike anything, his blood is thick and red and he’s coated with it within seconds. He thinks nothing has changed, he can’t remember ever escaping hell. As far as he’s concerned, he’s never left. He hears a sharp crack in the distance. A whip, a whip that will be turned on him within moments no doubt.
Alistair disappears for a second, leaving the human to writhe and moan, nervously awaiting his inevitable return. He comes back with the whip, cracking it upon Dean’s back before he can fully realize he holds it in the hands coated with his blood. A larger grin and another crack, this time coming from his own back. He screams and pleads for it to stop. Alistair instead takes back his knife and sticks it in his neck. Blood gushes from his throat and he chokes on it. He calls out for Gabriel once more before he fades further back into the darkness. There is no response, nothing but the sound of his blood dripping onto the freezing tile floor that his feet brush upon.
He wakes up moments later to go through the same ordeal again. He shakes his head furiously and pleads more as the whip grinds into his back, leaving him with that empty feeling inside to go with the pain. The empty feeling that no one will ever be coming for him. He is alone again because no one cares for him. No one ever cares about Dean Winchester.
There is a bright white light and it descends towards Alistair at a speed unlike anything Dean has ever witnessed. It leaves Alistair screaming and writhing on the ground, bloody and supposedly dead within moments. He can’t see anything through the light, can only see the true beauty and purity of it. It walks over to him and lays a hand on his wrecked cheek, forcing him to look at it. Dean’s eyes are miraculously not blinded. The light fades slowly, inch by inch, millisecond by millisecond. Gabriel is soon standing there, deep and warm amber eyes boring into his own, and he can’t look away. Wouldn’t want to look away back at hell anyway.
“Come back to me now, Dean. Come back to the light.”
Dean closes his eyes and gives himself fully to the archangel, feels him cut away his chains and catches him before he falls to the cold as death ground. He’s lifted up into warm and golden arms, caressed by the smell of honey and sweet candy. He can’t smile though, as much as he wants to his mouth is cut up and even thinking about smiling causes unbearable pain. He wants to thank him but can’t do that either, so he’ll merely save it for later. Gabriel fades once more back into the blinding light and it lays a hand on his eyes, to shield them from the blood and darkness and pain. The light is gentle and soothing and white with gold around the edges. It is brighter now. Gabriel once told him that an archangel’s light shines brighter with pure purpose. It was bright before, for his purpose was to save the human he loves, meaning Dean. But it is achingly bright now, and Dean knows it’s due to happiness. Gabriel has found him now and he is saving him, taking him back to earth. The light shines even brighter as they fly from hell, for it shines with nothing but love.
“Sleep now. You are safe with me. You are safe.”
He is Gabriel’s now, and he lets him take him away into unconsciousness. He travels further into the light and farther away from the darkness. Hell is a mere memory now. His savior shelters him and flies him away from the bloodshed. His love carries him to safety and the human accepts without a word. There is hope and there is utterly comfortable silence.
...
He opens his eyes and the storm is gone. From his position on the floor he can see the window, soaked in water but no longer shaking. He hears the wind howl but he isn’t reminded of hell. It’s all gone now, the fear and pain and the sight of his blood draining from his body. He is more than relieved when he realizes he can smile again, and he does as soon as he sees Gabriel hovering over him. He looks scared to death and he cradles Dean so close to him the human feels he’s suffocating.
“Oh, Dean, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left you. This is all my fault.”
Dean sighs contentedly and falls back into his archangel. He came back for him, just when he thought he wouldn’t come.
“What took you so long?”
He’s surprised to hear that his voice isn’t even a little hoarse.
“What do you mean?”
A look of horror that is agonizing for Dean to see crosses over Gabriel’s face and lingers there.
“Did you think you were actually in hell?”
When Dean doesn’t deny this, tears fall from the archangel’s eyes and suddenly Dean wishes he had lied, because he doesn’t want to feel this guilt right now. Truth be told, he was almost completely sure he had been in hell. Everything was so real and it was far worse than any of his nightmares so far. And it had lasted so long, even though he had no doubt in his mind that Gabriel would never take that long to come to him. Every time Dean ever whispered his name he was instantly there. So what had happened this time? A thumb strokes his undamaged cheek and he focuses back on the archangel.
“Little one, you must understand. I will never let you go back there again. You hear me? You were just dreaming, sweetheart.”
“Gabe, it felt like an eternity.”
“I only came to you a few seconds after you screamed. You know I always come when you call. I would never leave you.”
Dean hates himself for doubting Gabriel. After all he does for him he had no right, will never have any right to do so. The guilt is nearly overwhelming but with Gabe there smiling and rocking him back and forth it doesn’t last for too long.
His oh so nice warm arms, made of sunshine and happiness, lift him up off the ground and carry him back to bed. Dean can’t believe how fast he’s under the covers. He scoots over to make room for Gabriel as he settles down with him, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer. Dean uses Gabriel’s chest as a pillow and he listens to his savior cry, as much as he tries to hide and suppress it.
“I love you so much. And you’re gonna be okay now. I’m not leaving again.”
Dean smiles and brings up a hand to run through Gabriel’s hair, needing to make sure it’s real and his. Gabe lets him and smiles at him, when he’s done he kisses his hand and strokes Dean’s face. He brushes away the lines of fear and anxiety on his forehead and kisses him slowly. He doesn’t want to go too fast but he can easily see Dean is disappointed. Considering what happened mere minutes ago he thought Dean would want to rest. But apparently not. His human kisses him back, hard and desperate. Gabriel’s hands push him a tiny bit away.
“Easy, Deano. No need to overexert yourself, I missed you too.”
But instead of pulling away he pulls Dean closer, grinning and kissing him harder on the lips, having to force himself to pull away so Dean can breathe.
“I love you.”
Dean says it like he’s never said it before, like it really matters this time. And Gabriel doesn’t hesitate. He never does.
“I love you more.”
Dean pulls Gabriel down to meet his lips, and they end up kissing and cuddling until Dean falls asleep, safe as can be in the archangel’s arms.
...
The human wakes up in the morning as if nothing happened, and Gabriel lets it go. For now. He makes Dean breakfast and they have shower sex for about an hour. Gabriel knows Dean is close to begging him not to leave him, but the fact is the archangel never would, never this soon. He assures Dean of this and he can see how utterly relieved he is, how less vulnerable he feels. In fact, he doesn’t plan on leaving Dean for the rest of the week. Hopefully for the next month if he can arrange it.
Truth is, he’s really worried about Dean. The fact that he actually believed he was really in hell probably would paralyze him if he were human, maybe even if he was a mere angel. That his Dean had to not only go through the pain and the fear, but also the loss of hope that he would actually come for him, makes him want to crawl up in a ball on the floor and cry his eyes out, very much in the same way in which he had found Dean. He wants to scream at Dean at multiple moments, demand that he takes it slow, trying to show him he doesn’t have to pretend to be bulletproof. But Gabriel shuts his mouth because his Dean wants to get past this and he won’t deny him. He’ll merely be a shoulder to cry on and as Dean says it, a kick ass awesome cuddlier.
He sighs and glances up from his third cup of coffee to sneak a peek at Dean, watching TV on the couch. He walks over and Dean pats the seat next to him. He sits down and shuts the TV off. Dean would normally protest but this morning he knows what the archangel wants to talk to him about. Knows it is inevitable and unavoidable. And after all Gabe has done for him he will listen. Even though it is painful he will listen.
“I need you to let me in, Dean. I worry so much about you, and now I feel as though I can’t leave you alone.”
“You can. I’ll get better, I promise.”
Gabriel sighs and strokes his cheek, “It’s not about that. It’s about you trusting me.”
“You know I trust you, Gabe. You’re the only one I’ll ever trust. I thought you knew that.”
“I do, Dean. But you’re also not getting the point. There is no sense in you trusting me and me trusting you if you can’t tell me what happened. Let me in. I know it’s hard but I'm here. You know I always will be.”
“I can’t," Dean turns away but Gabriel places a hand on his shoulder, "it’s too painful.”
“And you’ll never move past it if you can’t face it. I saved you last night but what if I’m not able to next time?”
Dean shakes his head violently but the archangel gets into his line of vision and holds his head up, forcing him to look into his eyes. And Dean does.
“You were hyperventilating last night, Dean. This is serious. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw you. You can’t do that to me again.”
Dean finally breaks, “I know. I just don’t know what to do. I’m not strong enough.”
“You are strong. You are the bravest man I’ve ever met, Dean Winchester. I will save you time and time again because I love you. But I need you to be strong now.”
He kisses Dean, “I know you can do it.”
Dean slips his hand into Gabriel’s for support and he squeezes it, smiling as he kisses him on the lips. This time Dean takes it slow, kissing him gently back and lying down on the couch, wrapping himself up in Gabriel’s embrace and finally opening up inside. They talk, they talk and Dean feels a hell of a lot better afterwards.
Somewhere deep inside the human knows his archangel will always be there to chase the demons away. And he now also knows Gabriel will remain by his side to hold his hand through the thunderstorms, chasing away the lightning and embracing Dean with the sweetest light he has ever known. There is hope and there is love, but better than all of that there is Gabe.
FIN