The moments that mean nothing..

[ivey]

... So I am talking to this kid who I have, up until this point, for the last year, invested all of my thoughts, feeling and emotions in. He has long since fallen and recently tried the "we are going to be friends" tactic.. but he's cold to me... I am crying my eyes out, in a pathetic attempt to make a toddeler see that he's hurting me through his

Comments

no...

[n0tquitehuman]

this is entirely different than moving the cheese. This situation is common among people our age. Take for example past relationships of mine. Seeing as how I am a very emotional person and tend to invest emotions in people that I have no business trying to even have a friendship with, I have a problem with superman syndrome. I choose young women with problems so enormously huge that I could never possibly fix them, and expect to be the one who can "make it all better" or "break through the barrier they have set up".

But there is not a psychologist on the planet (unless they have telepathy) who can truly open up something in someone's head and make it all better. Not to mention I probably have a few issues to deal with myself before I try and tackle one young lady's issues with being molested by her father. Not the thing you really want to get into after making love with that person, especially if you want to help them deal with that huge topic.

Better to become friends and keep the lover part out of it because then you start dealing with the psychological trauma and learn other things about that person and become so intimately entwined with them that you are now playing their psychologist as well as lover. And you are facilitating the problem because you aren't allowing them to differientiate between the two.

Then say this person decides she doesn't know what she wants and because you are in a long distance relationship, she decides she wants to end it. This is more of a "that's the way the cookie crumbles" sort of situation because I should have known what I was getting into with a 21 year old (me being 24) and while 3 years shouldn't make that big a difference, it does because I have set up my goals and dealt with most of my issues.

But I also understand when you get the "let's just be friends" routine after having invested time, emotions, and thought power into a person that helped you out in a previous period of depression. I mean had it not been for Annie, I'd probably not be making this post. And I still communicate with her (at this point about once ever 6 months or more) but she was the one I ran to when I needed to talk. And of course she is younger and when I was 22 and she was 19, she gave the "friends" speech.

I empathize with you. that's what this inarticulate discombobulated post was about. I guess I just would like to discuss things with you because you seem to have a sharp mind, and you don't live in parts unknown so it's feasible that we could get a group of intellectuals together and discuss the latest plasma field theories, or possibly someone could help me figure out a way to formulate a theory I've been working on for the past 7 years.

you can email me, or call my cell... or god forbid get on AIM and messate me on my SN. I don't have that many friends here in the jacksonville area, so I've got a lot of free time on my hands... and I'm a big nerd. I could help you pick out a guy that won't be a total potzer. take care.