(no subject)
These past two weeks have been a total blur and I'm sorry to admit that I've been totally cranky and a borderline bitch. I have snapped at so many of my good friends, not to mention my family, that I'm beginning to think I need to do a personality overhaul or something. A few weeks ago my dad told me that I'm a hard person to deal with b/c even though he knows I'm being sarcastic, sometimes he has to remind himself of that and that he assumes people who don't know me just think I'm being rude. That put me in a rough mood b/c I don't know how to change that. I generally have a smile on my face and whenever I'm being snotty 90% of the time I'm being totally sarcastic and in my head my voice is coming off as funny, not bitchy. THEN, Matt and I got in a big fight on Thursday after watching the Cubs game...basically b/c we were both wasted and cranky and he told me the same thing my dad told me...that I'm not an easy person to be around sometimes. Two of the most important people in my life told me I'm hard to deal with in a matter of a week. Needless to say my ego took a pretty big hit. The problem is, I TALK to people about how I don't mean to come off as bitchy and that I'm usually just kidding and I guess I just thought b/c I'm pretty open with it that my friends and family would understand my personality but I was just....wrong. I wish I knew how to still be myself but I guess...a little softer. Ugh...
So after Matt and I had our big fight (but made up) on Thursday, I went home at 4am and woke up early in the afternoon on Friday and picked up Erin from the train station and we headed off to Bloomington for the weekend. Ashley flew in from San Diego and Erik, Alix and Alex all came down too. We all got WASTED on Friday night and it was sooooo rough getting up in the morning. I stayed in a hotel room b/c I just knew I needed my personal space for the weekend especially bc I am SOO cranky in the morning. Anyway, Alix got a ride with Alex on Saturday morning and called me while they were only about 20 minutes away from my hotel. I knew Alix was staying with me but I just figured Alex would drop her off and go hang out with the boys...so imagine how angry I was when I got out of the shower to a phone call saying they were both in the lobby and Alex the boy was going to come upstairs with her and hang out until we were ready. I was soooo freaking pissed. I was naked and sopping wet and just so bitter that now I had to have not one, but TWO extra people in my tiny hotel room, one of which was a boy who would have to close his eyes everytime I wanted to change my clothes. It was incredibly aggrivating. I was so mean to Alex b/c of it and now I feel really guilty...in fact, I just sent him an email saying I was sorry but seriously, ALL of my friends know how mean I am in the morning...actually Alix asked why I never tailgated during school and I said b/c I knew if I woke up this early for every homegame that I wouldn't have friends at the end of college. It was just really inconvenient.
The rest of the day went pretty okay and I don't think I was cranky during the tailgate but Ashley's brother def kept hurting my feelings. I don't need to talk about it but I just always get the feeling that her family hates me or something. Anyway, after the tailgate Alix and I went to go get food and then took a really long nap in the hotel and woke up around 8 to get ready to go out. I was wearing this totally cute dress from Express which I planned to wear with flip flops b/c my feet were killing me from the night before. We called a cab and then BOOM the strap on my dress freaking tore off!!! I had to rapid fire change clothes and I was all cranky b/c I felt out of whack and my boobs were out b/c I didn't have time to switch bras before we left and so I felt uncomfortable showing so much cleavage (hard to imagine, I know).....then the second I walked into the bar Alex the boy goes "woah the girls are out tonight" and it just put me in a bitter mood again! I ended up being fine but I think he was scared of me the rest of the weekend :(
Since then I've just been trying to catch up on sleep. I need to start working out and eating better. I really think that would help me feel better internally and externally. I don't know...
Oh...did I mention I'm going to Vegas with Matt Nov 15-18th..... umm ya, we'll see how that goes! YIKES!
So after Matt and I had our big fight (but made up) on Thursday, I went home at 4am and woke up early in the afternoon on Friday and picked up Erin from the train station and we headed off to Bloomington for the weekend. Ashley flew in from San Diego and Erik, Alix and Alex all came down too. We all got WASTED on Friday night and it was sooooo rough getting up in the morning. I stayed in a hotel room b/c I just knew I needed my personal space for the weekend especially bc I am SOO cranky in the morning. Anyway, Alix got a ride with Alex on Saturday morning and called me while they were only about 20 minutes away from my hotel. I knew Alix was staying with me but I just figured Alex would drop her off and go hang out with the boys...so imagine how angry I was when I got out of the shower to a phone call saying they were both in the lobby and Alex the boy was going to come upstairs with her and hang out until we were ready. I was soooo freaking pissed. I was naked and sopping wet and just so bitter that now I had to have not one, but TWO extra people in my tiny hotel room, one of which was a boy who would have to close his eyes everytime I wanted to change my clothes. It was incredibly aggrivating. I was so mean to Alex b/c of it and now I feel really guilty...in fact, I just sent him an email saying I was sorry but seriously, ALL of my friends know how mean I am in the morning...actually Alix asked why I never tailgated during school and I said b/c I knew if I woke up this early for every homegame that I wouldn't have friends at the end of college. It was just really inconvenient.
The rest of the day went pretty okay and I don't think I was cranky during the tailgate but Ashley's brother def kept hurting my feelings. I don't need to talk about it but I just always get the feeling that her family hates me or something. Anyway, after the tailgate Alix and I went to go get food and then took a really long nap in the hotel and woke up around 8 to get ready to go out. I was wearing this totally cute dress from Express which I planned to wear with flip flops b/c my feet were killing me from the night before. We called a cab and then BOOM the strap on my dress freaking tore off!!! I had to rapid fire change clothes and I was all cranky b/c I felt out of whack and my boobs were out b/c I didn't have time to switch bras before we left and so I felt uncomfortable showing so much cleavage (hard to imagine, I know).....then the second I walked into the bar Alex the boy goes "woah the girls are out tonight" and it just put me in a bitter mood again! I ended up being fine but I think he was scared of me the rest of the weekend :(
Since then I've just been trying to catch up on sleep. I need to start working out and eating better. I really think that would help me feel better internally and externally. I don't know...
Oh...did I mention I'm going to Vegas with Matt Nov 15-18th..... umm ya, we'll see how that goes! YIKES!