(no subject)
I couldn't tell you everything that's been going on. what strange extreme things are happening.
I am awe-struck and interested. Also, I feel somewhat unenthused, but I think that's because mostly I feel let down.
Summer's just beginning and I feel like positions have been assumed and this is when the summer winds down. we kiss each other goodbye on the cheek and embrace significantly and all of a sudden we have different lives. i don't want to skip the summer, but i feel like we already have. like a Wrinkle in Time.
I know this is silly...but right now I kind of feel like...nothing's sacred. no one's in it for the win. nothing trumps our own agenda. i guess at a time like this why would any of us make ourselves that vulnerable? or bother? Nothing is more disappointing than an unfruitful investment. I feel like that's what I've made. No matter.
I think the thing that I've come away with most certainly in high school is that nothing gold can stay. or will. or wants to. you have to appreciate the way things are when they're good, and when they stop, approach it with a nostalgic dettachment. "that was excellent. now, i move on." appreciate and love without an attachment. without sucking it into yourself as part of you. make yourself a separate entity from what goes on around you, and then you can love it, and then you can see it go and reflect happily on the fact that it was good and not turn yourself inside out. really, i guess it's about what's worth dwelling on and what needs to be remembered fondly from time to time.
I am a high school graduate. I am an unappreciative d-bag. I am somewhat confused, full of dread, excited, and reluctant.
When family and friendsoffamily came to my little grad party, I never realized how proud I am of the people that have accumulated in my life and stuck around. And I'm proud of what I've done in high school. I'm satisfied with the work I've done. I don't wish that I worked harder, or did different, or strived for better.
I think what I'm saying is that I understand the past perfectly, and I'm awfully confused about right now. What I'm also saying is: fall away.
I am awe-struck and interested. Also, I feel somewhat unenthused, but I think that's because mostly I feel let down.
Summer's just beginning and I feel like positions have been assumed and this is when the summer winds down. we kiss each other goodbye on the cheek and embrace significantly and all of a sudden we have different lives. i don't want to skip the summer, but i feel like we already have. like a Wrinkle in Time.
I know this is silly...but right now I kind of feel like...nothing's sacred. no one's in it for the win. nothing trumps our own agenda. i guess at a time like this why would any of us make ourselves that vulnerable? or bother? Nothing is more disappointing than an unfruitful investment. I feel like that's what I've made. No matter.
I think the thing that I've come away with most certainly in high school is that nothing gold can stay. or will. or wants to. you have to appreciate the way things are when they're good, and when they stop, approach it with a nostalgic dettachment. "that was excellent. now, i move on." appreciate and love without an attachment. without sucking it into yourself as part of you. make yourself a separate entity from what goes on around you, and then you can love it, and then you can see it go and reflect happily on the fact that it was good and not turn yourself inside out. really, i guess it's about what's worth dwelling on and what needs to be remembered fondly from time to time.
I am a high school graduate. I am an unappreciative d-bag. I am somewhat confused, full of dread, excited, and reluctant.
When family and friendsoffamily came to my little grad party, I never realized how proud I am of the people that have accumulated in my life and stuck around. And I'm proud of what I've done in high school. I'm satisfied with the work I've done. I don't wish that I worked harder, or did different, or strived for better.
I think what I'm saying is that I understand the past perfectly, and I'm awfully confused about right now. What I'm also saying is: fall away.