unfurling claws
This pain will probably fade by the time I graduate from med school and while it doesn't hurt as much as it used to, it still bloody hurts. They will probably never understand how awful it is to be the ones that are left hanging and abandoned and so they will never understand either, why I will never forgive them.
Having to remember happier times in a place that never changed in the last thirteen years was a more daunting experience than I'd expected. The tears that stung my eyes threatened to make their appearance known, but I couldn't even cry because I knew how upset my family would be if they saw the physical evidence of those daggers thrown at us repeatedly. And even with all the love I have from the people around me, I'm still hurting so badly. I'm so angry at myself for being so weak, for hurting so badly even when I know that I shouldn't let it affect me. But I can't - and I won't- say it out loud, because I know that the people closest to me are hurting worse.
Sometimes, I wonder just how much pain and hurt I can take before I internally implode and burst into a million pieces like those stars that we see each night. I can only thank the heavens for bringing me so much love and happiness amidst all the terrible misfortunes that seem to follow me year after year, day after day.
Having to remember happier times in a place that never changed in the last thirteen years was a more daunting experience than I'd expected. The tears that stung my eyes threatened to make their appearance known, but I couldn't even cry because I knew how upset my family would be if they saw the physical evidence of those daggers thrown at us repeatedly. And even with all the love I have from the people around me, I'm still hurting so badly. I'm so angry at myself for being so weak, for hurting so badly even when I know that I shouldn't let it affect me. But I can't - and I won't- say it out loud, because I know that the people closest to me are hurting worse.
Sometimes, I wonder just how much pain and hurt I can take before I internally implode and burst into a million pieces like those stars that we see each night. I can only thank the heavens for bringing me so much love and happiness amidst all the terrible misfortunes that seem to follow me year after year, day after day.