[001]

[itsfrench_bitch]

Good evening Godless sodomites.

It would appear that I am either behind the Iron Curtain, or have been kidnapped by the future overlords of the world. Overlords in the disguise of children that have demon bears for souls and worship heathen golden objects.

I'm looking at you, His Dark Materials series. Or should I say, "Ursidae Manifesto".

Comments

[itsfrench_bitch]

Bears are no laughing matter. They are souless monsters incapable of any act of good. They're vicious, cruel, and...



They're communists.

[he_of_paradise]

:< Are goats and wolves communists too?

[itsfrench_bitch]

Goats are the pure stock of Shepherds, so no. They have a holy light in them fueled by eons of sacrifice and alfalfa.

Wolves... are tricky. I'm unsure of whether the bears have recruited them to the dark side or not. Only time will tell where their morals lie.

[he_of_paradise]

Really? YaY!! That makes me so happy Mr.

Really? Lobsel has a friend who like wolves. :|

[itsfrench_bitch]

Mr... Lobsel, was it? I wouldn't worry too much about wolves. The real threat lies in a much smaller package. Namely, honeybees.

But these are all matters for another day. For now, just know that bears are The Number One Threat.

[he_of_paradise]

My name's Lobsel Vith! :D What's your's? :>

Honeybees? But they make honey, and I like honey!

Ok, if I see any bears I'll give them a stern lecture about their evil ways.

[itsfrench_bitch]

My name is Stephen Colbert. All American hero.

They promote diabetes and obesity, trying to shake our nation to its core. Oh, they may look innocent, but have you wondered why they're associated with bears?

Good man. I can tell you really listen to your gut. You sir get a Tip of My Hat.

[he_of_paradise]

Hi Stephen! :D

Diabetes and obesity aren't good. They kill people, but then if people are dead some of them go to Heaven! :>

Thankyou!