(no subject)

Oct 29, 2007 11:54

for about the past month, i've been one-half of a very fun, happy couple. her name is kimi. she is down to earth and honest. she is honest about her faults, and she is honest about her strengths. she accepts compliments, but doesn't search for them. she'll let me pay for the meal, but only if she can buy me a drink.

the truth is, i'm terrible when it comes to writing about relationships. i've never been good at it. i'm hardly ever comfortable talking about them, and people probably know this by now. i will say a few generic words, and then weave myself out of it, onto something else. it's not that i'm embarrassed, or that i don't like the relationship... but i never want to sound over-eager, or have my words come back to bite me. there's nothing worse than the feeling of publicly putting faith in something that eventually turns out to be untrustworthy. i'm not saying that people shouldn't be allowed to change... but oftentimes, for me, the pain of letting someone go is just as much as the pain of admitting that i was wrong.

so, when i say that i really like her -- that is a big deal. and when i say that i trust her -- that is also a really big deal. i trust that she is upfront with me, and that she will be honest with where she's at. if we're together, fine, and if we break up, fine. either way, i don't believe that she will lead me around, and that is so comforting to me. no matter where this relationship ends up, i feel confident that it is something good and that we are, together, being real with one another, and that we are something very real. and that's something that i can put in writing, and feel safe with.
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