(no subject)
these are things that i've thought about for quite a while, but i've always been afraid to write about them. but i've finally decided that i don't care if people don't have the words to respond, or if it's too weird to respond to. and i don't really believe in bad omens, so i don't worry about these things i'm writing coming true...
i sometimes wonder if people think about death as much as i do. i mean... i don't want to sound morbid or anything, because it's not something that i dwell upon, or am even very scared of.
sometimes though, i just think about what it must be like to lose your life, to actually feel life leaving you. or do you feel it? i'm sure there are studies done on this sort of thing... but i don't know if i want to know... they might take away from the mystery, my wonder.
it's so strange though, isn't it? what makes us living? is it that blood pumps through our veins? that our lungs breathe air? that our brain has thoughts? sometimes, i wonder what happens to a person's thoughts after that person has passed away. are they contained only in the brain, or are there thoughts imprinted on the soul? i wonder too, what that will be like.
i've been to a handful of funerals, and i've wondered at each of them if the person deceased is watching. or if they have dissipated all across the universe and are light, being held in the hands of the Father. i don't know if you become light... but that's kind of how i imagine it must be. i suppose it's something that everyone wonders about, and, how odd!, it's the one thing that everyone will get to experience, just once.
i'm very afraid of cars. i am a very cautious driver. i think it's incredible that we drive around in tons of steel suspended above the ground by less than an inch of rubber like it's nothing. we are so fragile in that condition! anything could go wrong at any moment that could result in injury, pain, or death. and i wonder about if i was in a car accident and died, what song i would be listening to at the time. i would hope it would be a good one, like goodbye yellow brick road, or running down a dream. something that people would say, "oh yeah, brian would have probably enjoyed leaving the earth at that moment!" but then i also wnoder if anyone would be able to tell. would a radio/cd player survive a fatal car crash? would anyone be able to tell what station i was listening to, or what cd i was listening to, or what track on a cd? i imagine that with technology the way it is today, that sort of thing could be found out if someone prodded. and i also think that most radio stations keep playlists of what they've played, but i don't know how long they keep those things, and if that is going to be on anyone's mind immediately after i would have died. i guess it also depends on knowing an exact time of death...
i sometimes wonder if people think about death as much as i do. i mean... i don't want to sound morbid or anything, because it's not something that i dwell upon, or am even very scared of.
sometimes though, i just think about what it must be like to lose your life, to actually feel life leaving you. or do you feel it? i'm sure there are studies done on this sort of thing... but i don't know if i want to know... they might take away from the mystery, my wonder.
it's so strange though, isn't it? what makes us living? is it that blood pumps through our veins? that our lungs breathe air? that our brain has thoughts? sometimes, i wonder what happens to a person's thoughts after that person has passed away. are they contained only in the brain, or are there thoughts imprinted on the soul? i wonder too, what that will be like.
i've been to a handful of funerals, and i've wondered at each of them if the person deceased is watching. or if they have dissipated all across the universe and are light, being held in the hands of the Father. i don't know if you become light... but that's kind of how i imagine it must be. i suppose it's something that everyone wonders about, and, how odd!, it's the one thing that everyone will get to experience, just once.
i'm very afraid of cars. i am a very cautious driver. i think it's incredible that we drive around in tons of steel suspended above the ground by less than an inch of rubber like it's nothing. we are so fragile in that condition! anything could go wrong at any moment that could result in injury, pain, or death. and i wonder about if i was in a car accident and died, what song i would be listening to at the time. i would hope it would be a good one, like goodbye yellow brick road, or running down a dream. something that people would say, "oh yeah, brian would have probably enjoyed leaving the earth at that moment!" but then i also wnoder if anyone would be able to tell. would a radio/cd player survive a fatal car crash? would anyone be able to tell what station i was listening to, or what cd i was listening to, or what track on a cd? i imagine that with technology the way it is today, that sort of thing could be found out if someone prodded. and i also think that most radio stations keep playlists of what they've played, but i don't know how long they keep those things, and if that is going to be on anyone's mind immediately after i would have died. i guess it also depends on knowing an exact time of death...