(no subject)
I am being really vounerable here...and pretty much putting my emotions on a platter, and maybe the person that this is to will never read this...but at least I know that I wrote how I felt, and sent it out into the world...
Dear you...
Wow. Things have really been crazy lately. I know that I have done a lot of things that neither of us thought I would. That works both ways, because you have done and said some things that I never thought I would hear you say or do. But that is beside the point. I know I hurt you. I never dreamed that I would be the one hurting you, but I did. I can’t ever take anything back that I did, I can’t change the things that have happened. As much as I regret everything that I have done here lately, I know that I will have learned a lot of life’s lessons through this. A lot of the things I have done have been out of anger. I know that you know me better than I know myself, and that you knew I was gonna screw up, long before I did. I don’t think that I will ever be able to stress to you how sorry I am. For the past 4 months we haven’t been very civil to each other. I have been trying to let go of a lot of things that I know I need to get past. I am still trying to get past it, but it has gotten a lot better here lately. I still miss the way things used to be. I wont deny that. I know that one day I will be that happy again, and it probably wont be with you, and I am okay with that.
I told you when we broke up, that no matter what, I would always be there for you, and you told me that you didn’t even have to say that, that I should know that you would be here for me. Here lately, you have been, well I don’t even know what to call it, because I know you don’t get mad, so I don’t really know why you have been acting the way you have been. I guess it is just how you have reacted to my behavior. A few weeks ago my dad called and told me he was going to Iraq. You are the only person that knows my family situation. I didn’t know what to do, because I knew how you had been acting and I wanted to talk to you, and didn’t know how you were going treat me. I was so scared, but I needed you. In my moment of complete despair, and you were right there, holding me up, it was like a moment frozen in time. You were exactly what I needed you to be. For that one night, it was like we had never hurt each other, and I could tell just by the way you looked at me that you were looking at me like you used to. You said just the right things, and made me feel so much better. And despite the problems we have had, I stuck around for a while. You comforted me and were just what I needed. You were that boy I fell in love with 3 years ago. I don’t think I can thank you enough for that. Despite everything that we have been through, you were still here for me when I needed you the most. I appreciate that so much. I felt like this was a turning point in our friendship. A much needed turning point. I don’t know if things will get better between us, but in the last few weeks we have come a long way. The conversation we had was the best conversation that we have had in 8 months. I don’t know what will come of this, hopefully a better friendship. Like you said, the world wouldn’t revolve if we didn’t talk. So I hope that going through this, with you here, will bring us closer together, and maybe one day we will get back a fraction of the great friendship we had, before everything got messed up. If not, then know that despite some of the things that we have done to each other, I still respect you, and support you in everything that you do.
Puppy Love,
Me
Dear you...
Wow. Things have really been crazy lately. I know that I have done a lot of things that neither of us thought I would. That works both ways, because you have done and said some things that I never thought I would hear you say or do. But that is beside the point. I know I hurt you. I never dreamed that I would be the one hurting you, but I did. I can’t ever take anything back that I did, I can’t change the things that have happened. As much as I regret everything that I have done here lately, I know that I will have learned a lot of life’s lessons through this. A lot of the things I have done have been out of anger. I know that you know me better than I know myself, and that you knew I was gonna screw up, long before I did. I don’t think that I will ever be able to stress to you how sorry I am. For the past 4 months we haven’t been very civil to each other. I have been trying to let go of a lot of things that I know I need to get past. I am still trying to get past it, but it has gotten a lot better here lately. I still miss the way things used to be. I wont deny that. I know that one day I will be that happy again, and it probably wont be with you, and I am okay with that.
I told you when we broke up, that no matter what, I would always be there for you, and you told me that you didn’t even have to say that, that I should know that you would be here for me. Here lately, you have been, well I don’t even know what to call it, because I know you don’t get mad, so I don’t really know why you have been acting the way you have been. I guess it is just how you have reacted to my behavior. A few weeks ago my dad called and told me he was going to Iraq. You are the only person that knows my family situation. I didn’t know what to do, because I knew how you had been acting and I wanted to talk to you, and didn’t know how you were going treat me. I was so scared, but I needed you. In my moment of complete despair, and you were right there, holding me up, it was like a moment frozen in time. You were exactly what I needed you to be. For that one night, it was like we had never hurt each other, and I could tell just by the way you looked at me that you were looking at me like you used to. You said just the right things, and made me feel so much better. And despite the problems we have had, I stuck around for a while. You comforted me and were just what I needed. You were that boy I fell in love with 3 years ago. I don’t think I can thank you enough for that. Despite everything that we have been through, you were still here for me when I needed you the most. I appreciate that so much. I felt like this was a turning point in our friendship. A much needed turning point. I don’t know if things will get better between us, but in the last few weeks we have come a long way. The conversation we had was the best conversation that we have had in 8 months. I don’t know what will come of this, hopefully a better friendship. Like you said, the world wouldn’t revolve if we didn’t talk. So I hope that going through this, with you here, will bring us closer together, and maybe one day we will get back a fraction of the great friendship we had, before everything got messed up. If not, then know that despite some of the things that we have done to each other, I still respect you, and support you in everything that you do.
Puppy Love,
Me