pickthemusic i will follow you into the dark by death cab cutie
Love of mine some day you will die // But I'll be close behind // I'll follow you into the dark // No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white // Just our hands clasped so tight // Waiting for the hint of a spark // If heaven and hell decide // That they both are satisfied // Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs // If there's no one beside you // When your soul embarks // Then I'll follow you into the dark
Sylar had been the first one to really voice it out loud, he was the one who said that he wouldn't be able to survive after Mohinder died. That he would pretty much kill himself after and for a moment Claire had only wanted to point out that they couldn't actually die. But then she remembered there is a way. Something to the back of the head but would that guarantee going wherever the other person was? Would they actually die or would they just be in a suspended state of animation?
It's not something that she likes to think about really, death isn't something that seems so scary anymore. It's just another thing there in her life, on the same wavelength as having a bad hair day or stubbing your toe. It's something easily fixed, perhaps she isn't as scared of it as she should be. That doesn't mean she's not scared of losing others, she is. She's terrified of the day when the people around her stop dying, the day when she starts losing people that she loves and she wonders what will be left once they are gone.
But death? It's lost a bit of meaning for her so far, she thought that she had awhile before she had to face losing someone that she cared about.
God, she wanted to laugh at how wrong she had been.
With the death of Nicky, suddenly she is painfully aware of what death really is. She can't rush in and fix everyone, there are people who are going to die and she is going to have to hold onto the memories instead of the person. She hates seeing the pain around her; she can see it in the flowers that are laid before the coffee shop door. The pictures, the teddy bears and the mourners that gather around for minutes at a time to pay respect. She sees it in the members of Nicky's family, some of them coming from as far as cross country to mourn the loss of the vivacious redhead with a quick wit and a quicker laugh.
Claire has heard stories about her friend that she never knew before, stories from her childhood that make Claire wish that she had known that Nicky. There was so much that she wished for now and she could never have it. Nicky's family would never see past the pain in Claire's eyes and see the guilt, or know how guilty she felt about not being able to bring her back. Or that Claire even could.
Claire hates that she has to play by the rules because she's having more minutes where she wants to break them.
She's weary as she lets herself into Hiro's apartment, feeling a little too raw and empty to really think. She's not even sure what she's going on any more, she hasn't eaten very much since Sunday, nothing really except for a couple pieces of pizza that she choked down for Nathan's sake so that he wouldn't worry over her too much. She's so tired that she barely noticed it when Kuma ran over to sniff at her feet and then let out a little whine when she didn't bend down to pick him up. Instead he gets a half hearted pat on the head before she walked past, peeling off her jacket while moving to the bedroom.
She crawled onto the bed then, lying down on her side as she faced the left bedside stand, looking at the picture of her and Hiro together. It's from sometime around when they first started dating and they look happy, probably because they are. They still are. She reached out then, picking up the framed picture to bring it closer to her, searching the photo for some kind of answer that wasn't there; Sylar's idea echoing through her head.
When Hiro found her, she's dozing and the picture if sitting on the bed beside her, her fingers resting over the cool glass that protected the image. He sat down beside her, a worried look on his face as he reached out to touch her hair, his fingers brushing against her cheek as he pushed the curls back. That simple touch is enough to wake her up, her eyes red from crying throughout the day but she managed to smile.
She could understand what Sylar had said now because if it hurt this much to lose a friend, how was she going to deal with losing Hiro?
Claire is pretty sure she won't be able to deal at all.
Sylar had been the first one to really voice it out loud, he was the one who said that he wouldn't be able to survive after Mohinder died. That he would pretty much kill himself after and for a moment Claire had only wanted to point out that they couldn't actually die. But then she remembered there is a way. Something to the back of the head but would that guarantee going wherever the other person was? Would they actually die or would they just be in a suspended state of animation?
It's not something that she likes to think about really, death isn't something that seems so scary anymore. It's just another thing there in her life, on the same wavelength as having a bad hair day or stubbing your toe. It's something easily fixed, perhaps she isn't as scared of it as she should be. That doesn't mean she's not scared of losing others, she is. She's terrified of the day when the people around her stop dying, the day when she starts losing people that she loves and she wonders what will be left once they are gone.
But death? It's lost a bit of meaning for her so far, she thought that she had awhile before she had to face losing someone that she cared about.
God, she wanted to laugh at how wrong she had been.
With the death of Nicky, suddenly she is painfully aware of what death really is. She can't rush in and fix everyone, there are people who are going to die and she is going to have to hold onto the memories instead of the person. She hates seeing the pain around her; she can see it in the flowers that are laid before the coffee shop door. The pictures, the teddy bears and the mourners that gather around for minutes at a time to pay respect. She sees it in the members of Nicky's family, some of them coming from as far as cross country to mourn the loss of the vivacious redhead with a quick wit and a quicker laugh.
Claire has heard stories about her friend that she never knew before, stories from her childhood that make Claire wish that she had known that Nicky. There was so much that she wished for now and she could never have it. Nicky's family would never see past the pain in Claire's eyes and see the guilt, or know how guilty she felt about not being able to bring her back. Or that Claire even could.
Claire hates that she has to play by the rules because she's having more minutes where she wants to break them.
She's weary as she lets herself into Hiro's apartment, feeling a little too raw and empty to really think. She's not even sure what she's going on any more, she hasn't eaten very much since Sunday, nothing really except for a couple pieces of pizza that she choked down for Nathan's sake so that he wouldn't worry over her too much. She's so tired that she barely noticed it when Kuma ran over to sniff at her feet and then let out a little whine when she didn't bend down to pick him up. Instead he gets a half hearted pat on the head before she walked past, peeling off her jacket while moving to the bedroom.
She crawled onto the bed then, lying down on her side as she faced the left bedside stand, looking at the picture of her and Hiro together. It's from sometime around when they first started dating and they look happy, probably because they are. They still are. She reached out then, picking up the framed picture to bring it closer to her, searching the photo for some kind of answer that wasn't there; Sylar's idea echoing through her head.
When Hiro found her, she's dozing and the picture if sitting on the bed beside her, her fingers resting over the cool glass that protected the image. He sat down beside her, a worried look on his face as he reached out to touch her hair, his fingers brushing against her cheek as he pushed the curls back. That simple touch is enough to wake her up, her eyes red from crying throughout the day but she managed to smile.
She could understand what Sylar had said now because if it hurt this much to lose a friend, how was she going to deal with losing Hiro?
Claire is pretty sure she won't be able to deal at all.