-9- POW! BAM! BIFF!
CITIZENS OF EDENSPHERE! ...Or should I say esteemed heroes of Edensphere!?
I notice that quite a few of you have finally decided to shed your mundane selves and take up the lives of the vigilante, full of thrills, chills, and spills!
Well, as the Star Hero of Edensphere, let me give you a few helpful tips on catching the bad guys! (You bad guys out there, don't look! This advice isn't for you! Go on! Shoo!)
1. Always keep your eyes peeled! You'll never know when danger will strike, or a villain decides he wants to rustle up some trouble!
2. Always help a citizen in need! Purses will always be snatched, old ladies will always need help across the street, and cats will always be stuck in trees! Be there for them!
3. Always look as flashy and cool as possible! Strike a pose, make sure you show up on top of a building, where the wind is super neat and makes your cape (if you have one) flap. This strikes terror in those dastardly villains! They'll know the jig is up! Try a few back flips, too, they look awesome! Don't blame me when you have fans banging down your door, asking for autographs... you can thank me, though!
4. Always have a snappy one-liner ready! Nothing is more awkward than a villain having something nasty to say, leaving you flabbergasted. No, no, a hero must always be ready!
...And I think that's it! I'll be around watching you guys in action, hand-picking only the very best for The Mighty Nightlaser's Super Duper Justice Bureau!
THIS MESSAGE WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN TEN SECONDS!
[He waits ten seconds, then tries to burn the page. A corner or two is singed, but when the page doesn't catch, he gives up. HOORAY!]
I notice that quite a few of you have finally decided to shed your mundane selves and take up the lives of the vigilante, full of thrills, chills, and spills!
Well, as the Star Hero of Edensphere, let me give you a few helpful tips on catching the bad guys! (You bad guys out there, don't look! This advice isn't for you! Go on! Shoo!)
1. Always keep your eyes peeled! You'll never know when danger will strike, or a villain decides he wants to rustle up some trouble!
2. Always help a citizen in need! Purses will always be snatched, old ladies will always need help across the street, and cats will always be stuck in trees! Be there for them!
3. Always look as flashy and cool as possible! Strike a pose, make sure you show up on top of a building, where the wind is super neat and makes your cape (if you have one) flap. This strikes terror in those dastardly villains! They'll know the jig is up! Try a few back flips, too, they look awesome! Don't blame me when you have fans banging down your door, asking for autographs... you can thank me, though!
4. Always have a snappy one-liner ready! Nothing is more awkward than a villain having something nasty to say, leaving you flabbergasted. No, no, a hero must always be ready!
...And I think that's it! I'll be around watching you guys in action, hand-picking only the very best for The Mighty Nightlaser's Super Duper Justice Bureau!
THIS MESSAGE WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN TEN SECONDS!
[He waits ten seconds, then tries to burn the page. A corner or two is singed, but when the page doesn't catch, he gives up. HOORAY!]