More of me to love, Baby.
Kelly,
I've written letters like this before to anonymous papers and weeklies and stuff like that online and everybody has heard this story. I almost feel retarded sending this, but hey what do I have to lose? I'm on lj, but I'd rather not give my username out. I'm a male, I'm 29, and I weigh 245 lbs. I've been fat since I was in 6th grade or so. Since I got out of school I've gained another 20 lbs. I work in a chain restaurant as a manager and I guess I do ok. I still live with a roommate and I don't have a girlfriend, though I have a crush on a girl I work with, one of the hostesses. I haven't asked her out. I tell myself it's because we work together. But this isn't really about her. It's about my fat ass.
I know you're going to tell me to get off said ass and go work out if I feel so bad about myself. Everyone says it. I'm sick of hearing it, though you'll probably say the same thing. I tried and tried and tried dieting (South Beach, Atkins, fucking starvation) and surprise nothing works. I even started bringing a sandwich to work instead of eating cannoli or linguini at the restaurant. She hasn't noticed.
Yeah yeah yeah I hate myself, I play WoW too much and I got picked on as a kid. I'm just so sick of all this. I keep hearing diet and exercise diet and exercise. A guy at the restaurant told me that he lost weight while he was doing coke but I don't want to do that. Nothing is working. I sorta just want to accept it. Maybe then I'd be happy.
I'm not suicidal or anything stupid like that so you know. I just need a plan. If you're qualified to be an advice columnist, even on lj, maybe you can give me some advice I've never heard before.
Fatty
You're right. Didja see that one coming? You Are Right.
If you accepted it you'd be happy. Well, at least happier than you are, which is a start.
245lbs is not that heavy. For serious. It's all in how you carry that weight. Ultimately, I'd say that you haven't hit rock-bottom yet with respect to your ass. Just being unhappy isn't enough. Sometimes you've got to really truly hate yourself to be willing to make a change. That's a pretty sad outlook to have though, right?
This chick either likes you or she doesn't. But if you're that uncomfortable in your own skin, it probably shows and how can you excpect anyone to be attracted to a sad bastard? EMBRACE YOUR FAT ASS. It's more of you to love. Cushion for the pushin'.
Look. I don't want to sit here and play a part in your little pity party. I've seriously got better shit to do today. You know that diet and excersize are the way to go if you are serious about losing weight. You know you maybe shouldn't be rocking Dungeons for 6 hours a day when you could be taking a walk or something. What exactly do you want me to tell you? This is America. It's ok to be a fat lazy bastard here. We even have porn dedicated to it.
Take a little solace in knowing that even if you don't love your ass, the internet does.
-K