(no subject)

[ithinkimdead]

I left my dad's house and had to say goodbye to her. it was the hardest goodby ei can remember. Its funny, she acts very uptight and unemotional most of the time and then all the sudden she'l say something very personal and unexpected. out of the blue she told me that she really didn't want me to leave. and then as we were saying goodbye, she kept standing really close to me, and her eyes kept watering up. its an emotional rollercoaster. and it sucks dick. so now im sitting in my mom's quiet house and trying to figure out what to do with myself. i just feel so alone after leaving her. i cant really be as honest with anyone else i know the way i can be with her. i just ended two sentences with the word "her." three.
living sort of hurts at the moment.