Relationship meanderings
Single
Married
Separated
Divorced
These categories define far too much for most people.
I have a friend who is currently married, has a child, but she seems to be having some problems with her husband. They argue about things that mostly don't matter in the long run, and lately he has taken to trying to end arguments with "So that's how it's going to be?" I get the feeling that she isn't necessarily happy right now, stressed with work, stressed at home, worried about her 1-year-old daughter and afraid to admit that things might be unraveling.
I have a friend who just got out of a... well... relationship lite(tm). They "dated" for 5 months or so, and now it's fin. She wanted more from the relationship and tried to get that from him. I think that because of work, timing, a lack of seriousness and a rather abrupt start, it failed to happen. Under slightly different circumstances, I'm sure they would have started something long-lasting. They get along famously, even now, and I'm sure they will be great friends.
I have a friend who got married, but found that she didn't want the same things as her husband, nor did they seem to click as well as they had previous to marriage. Things eventually fell apart in a bad way. Lots of screaming, fights, threats and stupidity. They divorced eventually. She has since found someone to love, and is currently married. The courtship lasted quite a bit longer the 2nd time around, and I think that taking it slowly in order to build that much more of a foundation before jumping into the bonds of (haha) holy matrimony will pay off for them.
I have a friend who dated her current husband for a total of 3 weeks before they were married. They have been married 27 years, have 4 children, a nice house, and a happy life. How odd.
I have a friend who went out west with the Air Force, met and married a local girl after dating for 5 months, and proceeded to get fucked over. She charged up his credit, she dated other men, she partied all the time and he eventually dropped that bag of shit (I feel kind of strongly about this one). He played the part of the playboy for quite a while, dating women who were eye-candy at best. After a few years he met someone who was much more than just the average arm-piece, and I guess fell in love. They bought a house together, have a horse (english mastiff) and seem genuinely happy. After hearing for eight years how he'd never again be wed, he brings up their wedding plans in passing conversation a few weeks ago. "Oh, didn't I tell you that?" as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
I have a friend who has decided to try her luck at online dating. She's talked to one particular guy for the past 2 months, though they haven't met yet. He seems nice enough, from what she's told me. This is her first foray into this sort of style of dating, and she's taking it slow. I would imagine they will meet and things will either go swimmingly, or be very blah. I hope for the former for her, since she deserves it.
I have a friend who has been in love with her boyfriend through good times, and gut(and heart)-renchingly bad. They've broken up more than once but are currently together. The relationship has been stretched, literally, over many miles for a long time. He loves her as well, though he feels guilty about things that happened in the past. At this point, she's waiting for him to make up his mind. When does the waiting become unbearable? To love: never.
I have a friend who has dated someone for 5 or so years. They have broken up multiple times due to various reasons, but always seem to get back together. During one of their "on again" times, I (drunkenly) extolled the virtues of their relationship and how made for each other they are. Not two weeks ago, I was talking to both of them (separately), and got the idea that they were very stable and happy. Later that night, I was leaving the party and found him outside trying to gather up his things that she had thrown out of the car when she left him there. He (drunkenly) failed while I was walking up to him. I helped him inside, and was told later that they broke up because of the co-ed nature of the party, which started a fight.
I have a friend who is a good looking man, but has the self-esteem of a pea. He has gone through many relationships, and prides himself on the fact that he's never been dumped. He's always been the one that has controlled the relationship, playing "the game" as he calls it. He's still pretty young, and I think that he will find that if he doesn't change his tune, he'll find himself lonely and unhappy. He had an opportunity recently with someone that would have been very good for him, but I think that the games came to the front yet again to dash any hope of happiness.
I am, by nature, a good listener. Because of this nature, I typically pick up stories that people tell, ramblings that might normally be forgotten and gems of information that I store away. I would imagine that I could probably go on for several more pages with more of these kind of stories. I won't, since I must be leaving work soon. It's friday night, after all. I guess my point in all of this is that there's no pattern. The good, the bad, the laughter and the sobbing.
I am single. I've tried to keep a level head about the kind of person that I am. I've also tried to keep my options open and my expectations in check. I find, however, that I'm confused about what I should or shouldn't do to find someone. This confusion has touched on the physical, the emotional and the spiritual. The reason I listed so many friends' situations is to illustrate the point that everyone's saga is different. I've gotten advice from friends and loved ones that also illustrate this point. I should go out more, hit the bars. I should try a dating service/program. I should just go TALK to that girl in receiving. I should ignore the rules of society to find what I seek. I should go to church (thanks for that one, Dad =P). I should exercise more to start talking to ladies at the gym. I should change my image to be more attractive (that one hurt a little). I should ask my friends to set me up with someone. I should give up on bitches and be gay (I'm sure some will get a kick out of that one). I should just be happy with who I am, and what I have. I need to be more assertive. I should whore it up for a while until I find someone with whom I could build something. I should lower my standards (bleh). I should give up trying to find "her" and just find someone I can tolerate.
There are currently five women that have peaked my interest. I work with 3 of them. The other two work with friends of mine. One of them I know very well. One of them is much older than I am (9 years). One of them is much younger than I am (6 years). Four of them have finished college or are about to finish. One of them is married. One of them has a child. I have gotten the impression from all five, at one point or another, that something COULD happen-if the situation was right. All of them are good looking and strike me as women that I would want to get to know much better. Herein lies the problem: I don't particularly like the random ask-out. It hasn't been my style in previous relationships, nor have I considered using it as a bonding tactic. In these cases though, it seems like the random ask-out is the only thing that I can do to make my intentions known to any of these women, if I were to choose one to pursue. Fuck.
Married
Separated
Divorced
These categories define far too much for most people.
I have a friend who is currently married, has a child, but she seems to be having some problems with her husband. They argue about things that mostly don't matter in the long run, and lately he has taken to trying to end arguments with "So that's how it's going to be?" I get the feeling that she isn't necessarily happy right now, stressed with work, stressed at home, worried about her 1-year-old daughter and afraid to admit that things might be unraveling.
I have a friend who just got out of a... well... relationship lite(tm). They "dated" for 5 months or so, and now it's fin. She wanted more from the relationship and tried to get that from him. I think that because of work, timing, a lack of seriousness and a rather abrupt start, it failed to happen. Under slightly different circumstances, I'm sure they would have started something long-lasting. They get along famously, even now, and I'm sure they will be great friends.
I have a friend who got married, but found that she didn't want the same things as her husband, nor did they seem to click as well as they had previous to marriage. Things eventually fell apart in a bad way. Lots of screaming, fights, threats and stupidity. They divorced eventually. She has since found someone to love, and is currently married. The courtship lasted quite a bit longer the 2nd time around, and I think that taking it slowly in order to build that much more of a foundation before jumping into the bonds of (haha) holy matrimony will pay off for them.
I have a friend who dated her current husband for a total of 3 weeks before they were married. They have been married 27 years, have 4 children, a nice house, and a happy life. How odd.
I have a friend who went out west with the Air Force, met and married a local girl after dating for 5 months, and proceeded to get fucked over. She charged up his credit, she dated other men, she partied all the time and he eventually dropped that bag of shit (I feel kind of strongly about this one). He played the part of the playboy for quite a while, dating women who were eye-candy at best. After a few years he met someone who was much more than just the average arm-piece, and I guess fell in love. They bought a house together, have a horse (english mastiff) and seem genuinely happy. After hearing for eight years how he'd never again be wed, he brings up their wedding plans in passing conversation a few weeks ago. "Oh, didn't I tell you that?" as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
I have a friend who has decided to try her luck at online dating. She's talked to one particular guy for the past 2 months, though they haven't met yet. He seems nice enough, from what she's told me. This is her first foray into this sort of style of dating, and she's taking it slow. I would imagine they will meet and things will either go swimmingly, or be very blah. I hope for the former for her, since she deserves it.
I have a friend who has been in love with her boyfriend through good times, and gut(and heart)-renchingly bad. They've broken up more than once but are currently together. The relationship has been stretched, literally, over many miles for a long time. He loves her as well, though he feels guilty about things that happened in the past. At this point, she's waiting for him to make up his mind. When does the waiting become unbearable? To love: never.
I have a friend who has dated someone for 5 or so years. They have broken up multiple times due to various reasons, but always seem to get back together. During one of their "on again" times, I (drunkenly) extolled the virtues of their relationship and how made for each other they are. Not two weeks ago, I was talking to both of them (separately), and got the idea that they were very stable and happy. Later that night, I was leaving the party and found him outside trying to gather up his things that she had thrown out of the car when she left him there. He (drunkenly) failed while I was walking up to him. I helped him inside, and was told later that they broke up because of the co-ed nature of the party, which started a fight.
I have a friend who is a good looking man, but has the self-esteem of a pea. He has gone through many relationships, and prides himself on the fact that he's never been dumped. He's always been the one that has controlled the relationship, playing "the game" as he calls it. He's still pretty young, and I think that he will find that if he doesn't change his tune, he'll find himself lonely and unhappy. He had an opportunity recently with someone that would have been very good for him, but I think that the games came to the front yet again to dash any hope of happiness.
I am, by nature, a good listener. Because of this nature, I typically pick up stories that people tell, ramblings that might normally be forgotten and gems of information that I store away. I would imagine that I could probably go on for several more pages with more of these kind of stories. I won't, since I must be leaving work soon. It's friday night, after all. I guess my point in all of this is that there's no pattern. The good, the bad, the laughter and the sobbing.
I am single. I've tried to keep a level head about the kind of person that I am. I've also tried to keep my options open and my expectations in check. I find, however, that I'm confused about what I should or shouldn't do to find someone. This confusion has touched on the physical, the emotional and the spiritual. The reason I listed so many friends' situations is to illustrate the point that everyone's saga is different. I've gotten advice from friends and loved ones that also illustrate this point. I should go out more, hit the bars. I should try a dating service/program. I should just go TALK to that girl in receiving. I should ignore the rules of society to find what I seek. I should go to church (thanks for that one, Dad =P). I should exercise more to start talking to ladies at the gym. I should change my image to be more attractive (that one hurt a little). I should ask my friends to set me up with someone. I should give up on bitches and be gay (I'm sure some will get a kick out of that one). I should just be happy with who I am, and what I have. I need to be more assertive. I should whore it up for a while until I find someone with whom I could build something. I should lower my standards (bleh). I should give up trying to find "her" and just find someone I can tolerate.
There are currently five women that have peaked my interest. I work with 3 of them. The other two work with friends of mine. One of them I know very well. One of them is much older than I am (9 years). One of them is much younger than I am (6 years). Four of them have finished college or are about to finish. One of them is married. One of them has a child. I have gotten the impression from all five, at one point or another, that something COULD happen-if the situation was right. All of them are good looking and strike me as women that I would want to get to know much better. Herein lies the problem: I don't particularly like the random ask-out. It hasn't been my style in previous relationships, nor have I considered using it as a bonding tactic. In these cases though, it seems like the random ask-out is the only thing that I can do to make my intentions known to any of these women, if I were to choose one to pursue. Fuck.