Finished.
Now he's trying to make this seem like I got hysterical over a minor glitch. He's telling me that we both responded in an overreaction to something that was so minor and easy to fix. I say nuts to that. In my mind, this is finished.
I've gone from melancholy to miffed. I feel as though it isn't fair that he's trying to paint this in a certain way. And as night came and a new day arrived, I'm beginning to solidify in my mind that this was the right move. He is emotionally infantile. He has no money. No wonder he's so desparate to come back...he's sleeping on his brother's floor in Ithaca. As I drove, I started to wonder what story he's telling himself over there. How could he possibly be convinced that we're BOTH losing out by parting? I carried things both emotionally and financially. He must be crazy to think that I would submit to the line of reasoning that he's providing. I'm going to be just fine. He's got a road to travel. And I can be okay with letting him go.
I'm letting him go.
Today is the first day that we've not communicated. Granted, it's been a crazy busy day for me. In the 6 o'clock hour this morning, I was unloading the trunk of my car into the garage at Arlington Drive. I'm blitzing paperwork today, trying to clear my desk. The quarter is going to be over so fast and I want to get a few grades in before we call it a day. I also want to sail off to Las Vegas without the stress and worry of work or the move hanging over my head. And so far, it's been a wildly productive day. Texting and emailing him has been counterproductive, really. I said it earlier...when I feel weak for him, it's easy to want to reach out just for chit chat. When I'm looking for an outlet to the immediate day, there's someone outside of here who wants to talk about other things. I may not have that for a while as I cut the tie with him, but I WILL have that again sometime. Perhaps even sometime sooner than I think.
Does it sound kooky or callous that I feel ready to meet new people? I do. I'm not going to get back online right this minute because I've got too much to do with this move. But when I get back up this way and get myself situated a bit, I definitely am going to want to socialize again. I've determined that I'm not going to sit at home all winter long. If I'm going the long haul here in Cleveland, I want to invest and make some friends. I want to get out there and do some things. And yes, eventually I'm going to want to date.
So I'll just ride out the day. I'm going to remain silent for a while. He's pressuring me in ways that are not fair and feel more annoying than anything else. I think I've determined that he's got to go his own way and I have got to go mine. Instead of being sad about that, I'll count it as progress. It's progress.
Until we meet again...
I've gone from melancholy to miffed. I feel as though it isn't fair that he's trying to paint this in a certain way. And as night came and a new day arrived, I'm beginning to solidify in my mind that this was the right move. He is emotionally infantile. He has no money. No wonder he's so desparate to come back...he's sleeping on his brother's floor in Ithaca. As I drove, I started to wonder what story he's telling himself over there. How could he possibly be convinced that we're BOTH losing out by parting? I carried things both emotionally and financially. He must be crazy to think that I would submit to the line of reasoning that he's providing. I'm going to be just fine. He's got a road to travel. And I can be okay with letting him go.
I'm letting him go.
Today is the first day that we've not communicated. Granted, it's been a crazy busy day for me. In the 6 o'clock hour this morning, I was unloading the trunk of my car into the garage at Arlington Drive. I'm blitzing paperwork today, trying to clear my desk. The quarter is going to be over so fast and I want to get a few grades in before we call it a day. I also want to sail off to Las Vegas without the stress and worry of work or the move hanging over my head. And so far, it's been a wildly productive day. Texting and emailing him has been counterproductive, really. I said it earlier...when I feel weak for him, it's easy to want to reach out just for chit chat. When I'm looking for an outlet to the immediate day, there's someone outside of here who wants to talk about other things. I may not have that for a while as I cut the tie with him, but I WILL have that again sometime. Perhaps even sometime sooner than I think.
Does it sound kooky or callous that I feel ready to meet new people? I do. I'm not going to get back online right this minute because I've got too much to do with this move. But when I get back up this way and get myself situated a bit, I definitely am going to want to socialize again. I've determined that I'm not going to sit at home all winter long. If I'm going the long haul here in Cleveland, I want to invest and make some friends. I want to get out there and do some things. And yes, eventually I'm going to want to date.
So I'll just ride out the day. I'm going to remain silent for a while. He's pressuring me in ways that are not fair and feel more annoying than anything else. I think I've determined that he's got to go his own way and I have got to go mine. Instead of being sad about that, I'll count it as progress. It's progress.
Until we meet again...