Tried sleeping, Not so much.
I just keep thinking I should do something else.
I want it to be...today but also tomorrow?
I want it to be today but I want to have accomplished the tasks of tomorrow?
Yes.
Tomorrow in the vague future kind of way.
All of the things I now have to do.
Seriously.
I'm not sure how personally I'm taking all of this.
It's not like it's unexpected, but more that I now have more to deal with and couldn't she have been just a little more considerate and considered this?
No.
Apparently not anyway.
I wasn't taking any of the run around I got today personally either.
I honestly didn't mind; it was frustrating, but I didn't blame anyone.
It wore me out though.
I am so worn out.
I am worried if I sleep I won't be able to get out of bed in the morning.
Part of this I'm sure is a result of being tired from caring around all of the pent up anxiety I'm not letting out.
Crying isn't constructive.
Crying is somewhat pointless.
Crying makes my face hurt and my nose close.
Therefore, no thanks. I have enough problems today.
It was all so inevitable yet I'm still surprised it's happened.
Why now? She couldn't wait until I had a real job?
Why does she think I have all this money? Where am I getting it?
Oh, our grandparents?
Yeah.
Right.
PS not really.
Bobbie can't afford it, never really could.
The Bears help in very specific instances and I otherwise try not to ask.
Gram would give me her last nickel, but I've taken quite enough from her.
That's what it is though.
She thinks I have money because she considers me a member of the Bank of Gram.
I can make a withdrawl anytime. Day or night. Any reason. Unlimited.
Seriously?
No.
Dummy.
It doesn't work that way and it never will.
Well...never again.
We pulled it when I was younger and all you wanted was twenty bucks for dinner out.
Fine, I helped then.
Now you want five hundred dollars for what I consider pointless poison?
I'm thinking no.
You didn't bother with the overdraft protection of BEING A DECENT HUMAN BEING so now your funds have dried up.
For real real this time too, kid.
You're done for.
Theys gonna get you.
And I'm going to make sure of it.
You should have learned when I got you thrown out that you could only push me so far.
Threaten my security and I will evict yo ass and you will be HOPEFULLY where you belong.
Under lock and key.
With minimum outside contact.
That would be my favorite part, by the way.
This doesn't mean I'll forget you.
Or disown you.
You'll always be my family.
Obviously whether I like it or not.
But just because I'll keep the past doesn't mean your future with me is guaranteed.
So go away.
And let me sleep.
Kthnx.