The Process of Forgiveness
People like to say, "forgive & forget", but honestly, is that a reasonable goal? I do not think so. "Just get over it" is another. Do the people saying these things find it so simple, I wonder? No, I think they expect it to be so simple for themselves,but it isn't, & then they expect it to be simple for everyone else. That's confusing.
I've been privately questioning if I have the ability to forgive, as I think I may have mentioned previously. So I broke it down with my friend, Thom. He (wisely) asked for my own definition of forgiveness: to be 100% ok with what the person did to hurt me, to not be hurt by it anymore, & to move on with complete harmony. He pointed out how unrealistic that definition is. It's probably linked to my occasional "all-or-nothing thinking". Forgiveness is not for the person who did the hurting. It's for the one who was hurt. That's a truth I've known forever... yet not known at the same time. I honestly thought one day I could no longer be hurt by things I haven't forgiven, & that's just not fair to me. Certainly the pain will ease as time passes, but to be "100% ok with it" is kind of out of the question. Finding harmony from forgiving is possible, I believe, though it has not a thing to do with not being hurt anymore, or with being "ok" with the person who hurt me. I've been told that in order to fully forgive & all, I have to get angry. Apparently, the level, or form of anger I've already displayed won't cut it. The anger needs to be motivational, & directly accurately. This is a long road.
More soon. I have a lot to say about this. You've been warned. ;)
P.S. Continuing with my quest for acceptable hair, a different friend showed me this new oil slick color:
I'm not sure... Any thoughts?