(no subject)
Well, I'm in college now. Ahh! Scary. So yesterday, I left the edge of the wood. Not a fun experience. Well, wait, I'm a liar. The girls (gurls) came over to see me during my last hour or so at home. I was excited to see them of course! They came to see me off at 7:30 AM...all 5 of them!!!-that's amazing!!! As miss Hannah said, I must really be loved for all of them to come over to see me off so early in the morning. Honestly, I couldn't ask for a better group of friends!!! I love them so much! I miss them so so much! But I have pictures of them all over my room, so at least I can see them that way. I guess it's better then nothin.
Okay, so while I've been up here, I was thinking that I wouldn't cry when my parents left. Yea...didn't go as planned. I was fine at first....well kinda. I was holding it in...hiding it with a smile when I was saying goodbye to my mom, but man, when I said my goodbye to my dad, I lost it. Like the gasp for air type crying. I don't know why it hit me hard when I saw my dad-we don't always get along so great. But it might've been bc I saw that he was getting choked up about leaving me. Ya know, the whole daddy's little girl thing. I don't know, maybe I'm just now realizing how much my dad means to me. He works so hard so that he can provide for me (and my mom and bros). He doesn't HAVE to push himself so much, but he does bc he loves us so incredibly much. I mean, when he was leaving, he gave me the tightest hug...like he didn't wanna let go. I know I'm an "adult" now, but when he was leaving, it was like I was his little girl again...like he's my hero. I don't know how to describe it.
So, I basically feel like a part of me is missing. KACHMN. I'm not there with my friends. I mean, I have friends here, but it's not the same. No where near being close. You don't realize how important your friends are in your life until you're not there with them...when you're gone. You might be thinking...well of course...but you have to experience it to understand what I truely mean. I call them everytime I'm in my dorm room...like have a little time to talk bc if I was back home, I'd be talking to them all the time...but in person. So, I have to settle for phone chats...but ya know what....the sounds of their voices are so comforting. I KNOW that sounds totally ridiculous/weird/corny whatever...but I'm not kidding. I just hope I'm not annoying them by calling them. I just need to hear them...bc this transition is not easy for me. I wanna be home but I need to be here. It sux.
So, my Rud Rud is leaving tomorrow. Holy crap. It was hard enough leaving her, but now that she's leaving, it's even harder bc she'll be even farther away. I'm not even gonna be there to see her off. I just wanna give her one last hug right before she leaves. She's like my sister-I don't know what happened, but we ended up in different families. Bummer. But, knowing that she's going through all the stuff that I just went through...like the night before you leave stuff...packing...realizing that you ARE leaving..it's crazy. I just told her to saver EVERY moment she's home with all our buddies and family...I'm sure she will!!! She's a smart one!..that she is. Cass Cass loves her so much!!!
I know I keep talking about this, but get over it. Looking at the pictures on my wall and pictures in frames and stuff is really....weird feeling (I'm looking at them right now...that's why I brought it up). I see everyone in the pictures, but I can't be there with them. Like, the pictures of my last night back home...it's weird to look at those (they're hilarious!)...but it's like "I was JUST there...and now I'm not." This stuff seriously sounds stupid bc you would think it's common knowledge...but the feeling isn't.
Well, I'm bein a bum tonight so I can get some stuff at least a little more organized here. I'm just frustrated bc I haven't had time to put up pictures and organize things. Now i can though...so I'm using thast opportunity bc I won't have time during the day at all tomorrow!-um we're discussing this horrible book for 6 HOURS!!!!...no joke. It's on my schedule.
Well, I'm gonna get back to getting organized. Have a good one all. <3
Okay, so while I've been up here, I was thinking that I wouldn't cry when my parents left. Yea...didn't go as planned. I was fine at first....well kinda. I was holding it in...hiding it with a smile when I was saying goodbye to my mom, but man, when I said my goodbye to my dad, I lost it. Like the gasp for air type crying. I don't know why it hit me hard when I saw my dad-we don't always get along so great. But it might've been bc I saw that he was getting choked up about leaving me. Ya know, the whole daddy's little girl thing. I don't know, maybe I'm just now realizing how much my dad means to me. He works so hard so that he can provide for me (and my mom and bros). He doesn't HAVE to push himself so much, but he does bc he loves us so incredibly much. I mean, when he was leaving, he gave me the tightest hug...like he didn't wanna let go. I know I'm an "adult" now, but when he was leaving, it was like I was his little girl again...like he's my hero. I don't know how to describe it.
So, I basically feel like a part of me is missing. KACHMN. I'm not there with my friends. I mean, I have friends here, but it's not the same. No where near being close. You don't realize how important your friends are in your life until you're not there with them...when you're gone. You might be thinking...well of course...but you have to experience it to understand what I truely mean. I call them everytime I'm in my dorm room...like have a little time to talk bc if I was back home, I'd be talking to them all the time...but in person. So, I have to settle for phone chats...but ya know what....the sounds of their voices are so comforting. I KNOW that sounds totally ridiculous/weird/corny whatever...but I'm not kidding. I just hope I'm not annoying them by calling them. I just need to hear them...bc this transition is not easy for me. I wanna be home but I need to be here. It sux.
So, my Rud Rud is leaving tomorrow. Holy crap. It was hard enough leaving her, but now that she's leaving, it's even harder bc she'll be even farther away. I'm not even gonna be there to see her off. I just wanna give her one last hug right before she leaves. She's like my sister-I don't know what happened, but we ended up in different families. Bummer. But, knowing that she's going through all the stuff that I just went through...like the night before you leave stuff...packing...realizing that you ARE leaving..it's crazy. I just told her to saver EVERY moment she's home with all our buddies and family...I'm sure she will!!! She's a smart one!..that she is. Cass Cass loves her so much!!!
I know I keep talking about this, but get over it. Looking at the pictures on my wall and pictures in frames and stuff is really....weird feeling (I'm looking at them right now...that's why I brought it up). I see everyone in the pictures, but I can't be there with them. Like, the pictures of my last night back home...it's weird to look at those (they're hilarious!)...but it's like "I was JUST there...and now I'm not." This stuff seriously sounds stupid bc you would think it's common knowledge...but the feeling isn't.
Well, I'm bein a bum tonight so I can get some stuff at least a little more organized here. I'm just frustrated bc I haven't had time to put up pictures and organize things. Now i can though...so I'm using thast opportunity bc I won't have time during the day at all tomorrow!-um we're discussing this horrible book for 6 HOURS!!!!...no joke. It's on my schedule.
Well, I'm gonna get back to getting organized. Have a good one all. <3