ten things I generally assume you know about me
A couple of years ago cereta started a meme on "ten things you probably know already about me," and I did it - ten things that people who had been reading my journal for a long time had probably figured out, that I sort of assume everybody knows and therefore don't spend any time explaining, but that new friends might not yet know. Sort of a "who I am" primer. I linked to that for a while, but a lot of items on it need updating and a lot of people have friended me recently (*waves HI*) so I thought I'd do it again. [And edited 4/30/09]
1. I'm 44 45 years old, but it's only a number. I don't check ages at the door; most of what I write and link is suitable for anyone who's interested, and I label and cut-tag stuff that isn't.
2. I'm (very happily) married, and mostly but not completely straight. I'm about a Kinsey 2: I mostly like men (and how!), and most of my romantic relationships have been with men, but I occasionally crush very hard on a woman. I support everyone's right to make out with whomever they choose. Except you can't choose me, because I'm taken, sorry. :-)
3. I'm multifannish and don't do the OTP thing. I seem to either dabble in fandoms for the long term, or fall very hard in and out of love with them. At the moment, I'm pretty much just a dabbler, as no single fandom is enthralling me. I guess due South (and 6degrees) is still my primary fandom, but I'm out of the ooh-shiny stage, for the most part. The closest thing to my primary fandom at the moment is "six degrees of Sean Bean" - Lord of the Rings and Sharpe, that is, but I'm not really all ooh-shiny about it. Also somewhat fannish about other Age of Sail fandoms, Viggo/Sean RPS, cowboy movies, due South, Wilby Wonderful, and Slings & Arrows.
I'm lavishly NOTP in nearly all my fandoms. There are pairings and characters I prefer, and pairings and characters I dislike; but in general I ship anybody/everybody, slash, het and femslash, and let's not forget the gen. I can sort of understand OTPers if I concentrate really hard, but usually I don't bother trying.
4. I'm a big fan of meta about fandom and fans, but not so much about the source texts. Discussions about particular characters are less interesting to me than discussion about us. I'm more interested in deconstructing fanfic than deconstructing canon. I like talking about writing and reading, about how we interact on lj and in person. (Also, I'm a metafandom editor, so be aware that public posts you make might end up linked there unless you specifically indicate you don't want linkage. Of course, this is true whether or not I have you friended.)
5. When I started this journal, it was strictly fandom-only. As my relationship with fandom evolved, things changed. Now this is kind of a catch-all: fanfiction and recs, pointers to cool things, commentary on life, weather, music, food, squid, whatever. If you can't abide reading such an olio, you can subscribe to just the tags that interest you. (As a corollary to this: there are a handful of nonfannish people who read this journal regularly or occasionally. Because so many fandom people (particularly C6D people) have each other mutually friended, I think there's a tendency to treat everybody's comments as a sort of big shared bitchinparty-ish space; sometimes we forget that "mundanes" are reading, too. Um, if that changes how you comment. The flip side of this is that if you're one of my nonfannish friends, hi, we talk about gay sex and time travel and swordfighting. Sometimes all at the same time.)
I am re-evaluating how I use this journal, by the way, so it's entirely possible I will split off my non-fandom stuff in the (near) future. The problem for me is determining what, exactly, is "non-fandom" stuff. At the moment (2009, as I am editing this) my non-fandom stuff that I post elsewhere is mostly my running, hiking, backpacking, and other outdoorsy pursuits.
6. If you're on my flist, I read you, and I expect that you are reading me. I view lj as a dialogue. (I might not read you from this journal.) If you're not on my flist, I may be reading you anyway, because I zoom about friendsfriends and the flists of communities I'm in when I have the time. Because I subscribe to the noticeboard communities of fandoms I'm interested in, I don't friend people for fic (and in fact, I rarely read fic that comes across my flist - I usually wait until the newsletter round-up). I friend people who write interesting non-fic things and interact with me. If I don't friend you, or defriend you, it doesn't mean I don't like you, just that our interests have diverged; if you defriend me, I understand that it doesn't mean you don't like me, either. (So if you don't like me, let me know.)
I would rather be defriended than filtered out. I would like to be on any (posting) filter you feel comfortable putting me on.
7. If you're not on my flist, you are still welcome to comment - or to lurk. I welcome all comments, whether they are from my flist, my foflist, or random passers-by. Not only don't I mind when two other people get into a conversation in my lj - I love it! (Provided it's reasonably on topic with the original post, that is.) I also comment profusely in other people's ljs, whether they're on my flist, pointed to by a newsletter or other lj, or just randomly discovered via friendsfriends or the flist of a community or other lj. I certainly don't mind lurkers who never comment - but I'm less likely to friend you.
8. I will not friend you if you don't use standard English capitalization in your journal. To me, it's like proper spelling; it's part of the agreed-upon convention for writing, and its absence calls attention to itself, which detracts from the message. I also find it hard to read. I have an emotional, visceral reaction to uncapitalized writing: it pisses me off. (Because what makes you such a speshul snowflake that you get to ignore the rules? Other than for deliberate, occasional effect, like I just did?) It makes me think less of the writer. (Kind of like typos in fic headers and stupid usernames; I understand that this isn't necessarily a rational response, but it's the one I have.)
If you insist on commenting without standard English capitalization, that's your choice, but it would make me happier and I will like you more if you capitalize properly.
9. I don't lock posts to my flist at large, other than occasional media posts which are always mirrored in the relevant communities la la la. So if I don't friend you, you aren't missing anything much. I occasionally but rarely lock posts to a subset of my flist whom I consider trusted, close friends. Want to be a trusted, close friend? Get to know me and let me get to know you. If you're on my flist, I would like to get to know you better. If you're not, and you hang around enough, and we get along, you probably will be eventually. Or send me email telling me why I ought to friend you. Maybe I just forgot.
ETA: I have started locking some media posts. If you either subscribe or give access to my Dreamwidth account, or if you read me on LJ and send me email or a message requesting it, I will give your DW acct or LJ OpenID access, and you will be able to see these posts.
10. I don't do anonymous hate memes, love memes, "Snaps Cup" memes or the like. Mostly, I think they're kind of stupid - just a way for some random person to get their comment stats up, because why do all this in someone else's journal? I find love memes well-intentioned but depressing, and I try not to look, but I usually fail and peek and get all depressed when I don't see my name. :-)
My lj always has anonymous comments enabled. IP logging is sometimes turned on for download tracking purposes, but all I see is a bunch of numbers, and I'm not going to bother trying to match them with anything. If you have something you want to tell me but are too scared to put your name to it, you can always comment - but I'd appreciate it if you were polite, especially if you're commenting to another commenter. Heck, if you've got something to say to me anonymously, you can do it right here on this post. If you'd rather it not be public, you can use the feedback form and not put your email address in the form. But you can also always email me nonymously. I don't bite.
1. I'm 44 45 years old, but it's only a number. I don't check ages at the door; most of what I write and link is suitable for anyone who's interested, and I label and cut-tag stuff that isn't.
2. I'm (very happily) married, and mostly but not completely straight. I'm about a Kinsey 2: I mostly like men (and how!), and most of my romantic relationships have been with men, but I occasionally crush very hard on a woman. I support everyone's right to make out with whomever they choose. Except you can't choose me, because I'm taken, sorry. :-)
3. I'm multifannish and don't do the OTP thing. I seem to either dabble in fandoms for the long term, or fall very hard in and out of love with them. At the moment, I'm pretty much just a dabbler, as no single fandom is enthralling me. I guess due South (and 6degrees) is still my primary fandom, but I'm out of the ooh-shiny stage, for the most part. The closest thing to my primary fandom at the moment is "six degrees of Sean Bean" - Lord of the Rings and Sharpe, that is, but I'm not really all ooh-shiny about it. Also somewhat fannish about other Age of Sail fandoms, Viggo/Sean RPS, cowboy movies, due South, Wilby Wonderful, and Slings & Arrows.
I'm lavishly NOTP in nearly all my fandoms. There are pairings and characters I prefer, and pairings and characters I dislike; but in general I ship anybody/everybody, slash, het and femslash, and let's not forget the gen. I can sort of understand OTPers if I concentrate really hard, but usually I don't bother trying.
4. I'm a big fan of meta about fandom and fans, but not so much about the source texts. Discussions about particular characters are less interesting to me than discussion about us. I'm more interested in deconstructing fanfic than deconstructing canon. I like talking about writing and reading, about how we interact on lj and in person. (Also, I'm a metafandom editor, so be aware that public posts you make might end up linked there unless you specifically indicate you don't want linkage. Of course, this is true whether or not I have you friended.)
5. When I started this journal, it was strictly fandom-only. As my relationship with fandom evolved, things changed. Now this is kind of a catch-all: fanfiction and recs, pointers to cool things, commentary on life, weather, music, food, squid, whatever. If you can't abide reading such an olio, you can subscribe to just the tags that interest you. (As a corollary to this: there are a handful of nonfannish people who read this journal regularly or occasionally. Because so many fandom people (particularly C6D people) have each other mutually friended, I think there's a tendency to treat everybody's comments as a sort of big shared bitchinparty-ish space; sometimes we forget that "mundanes" are reading, too. Um, if that changes how you comment. The flip side of this is that if you're one of my nonfannish friends, hi, we talk about gay sex and time travel and swordfighting. Sometimes all at the same time.)
I am re-evaluating how I use this journal, by the way, so it's entirely possible I will split off my non-fandom stuff in the (near) future. The problem for me is determining what, exactly, is "non-fandom" stuff. At the moment (2009, as I am editing this) my non-fandom stuff that I post elsewhere is mostly my running, hiking, backpacking, and other outdoorsy pursuits.
6. If you're on my flist, I read you, and I expect that you are reading me. I view lj as a dialogue. (I might not read you from this journal.) If you're not on my flist, I may be reading you anyway, because I zoom about friendsfriends and the flists of communities I'm in when I have the time. Because I subscribe to the noticeboard communities of fandoms I'm interested in, I don't friend people for fic (and in fact, I rarely read fic that comes across my flist - I usually wait until the newsletter round-up). I friend people who write interesting non-fic things and interact with me. If I don't friend you, or defriend you, it doesn't mean I don't like you, just that our interests have diverged; if you defriend me, I understand that it doesn't mean you don't like me, either. (So if you don't like me, let me know.)
I would rather be defriended than filtered out. I would like to be on any (posting) filter you feel comfortable putting me on.
7. If you're not on my flist, you are still welcome to comment - or to lurk. I welcome all comments, whether they are from my flist, my foflist, or random passers-by. Not only don't I mind when two other people get into a conversation in my lj - I love it! (Provided it's reasonably on topic with the original post, that is.) I also comment profusely in other people's ljs, whether they're on my flist, pointed to by a newsletter or other lj, or just randomly discovered via friendsfriends or the flist of a community or other lj. I certainly don't mind lurkers who never comment - but I'm less likely to friend you.
8. I will not friend you if you don't use standard English capitalization in your journal. To me, it's like proper spelling; it's part of the agreed-upon convention for writing, and its absence calls attention to itself, which detracts from the message. I also find it hard to read. I have an emotional, visceral reaction to uncapitalized writing: it pisses me off. (Because what makes you such a speshul snowflake that you get to ignore the rules? Other than for deliberate, occasional effect, like I just did?) It makes me think less of the writer. (Kind of like typos in fic headers and stupid usernames; I understand that this isn't necessarily a rational response, but it's the one I have.)
If you insist on commenting without standard English capitalization, that's your choice, but it would make me happier and I will like you more if you capitalize properly.
9. I don't lock posts to my flist at large, other than occasional media posts which are always mirrored in the relevant communities la la la. So if I don't friend you, you aren't missing anything much. I occasionally but rarely lock posts to a subset of my flist whom I consider trusted, close friends. Want to be a trusted, close friend? Get to know me and let me get to know you. If you're on my flist, I would like to get to know you better. If you're not, and you hang around enough, and we get along, you probably will be eventually. Or send me email telling me why I ought to friend you. Maybe I just forgot.
ETA: I have started locking some media posts. If you either subscribe or give access to my Dreamwidth account, or if you read me on LJ and send me email or a message requesting it, I will give your DW acct or LJ OpenID access, and you will be able to see these posts.
10. I don't do anonymous hate memes, love memes, "Snaps Cup" memes or the like. Mostly, I think they're kind of stupid - just a way for some random person to get their comment stats up, because why do all this in someone else's journal? I find love memes well-intentioned but depressing, and I try not to look, but I usually fail and peek and get all depressed when I don't see my name. :-)
My lj always has anonymous comments enabled. IP logging is sometimes turned on for download tracking purposes, but all I see is a bunch of numbers, and I'm not going to bother trying to match them with anything. If you have something you want to tell me but are too scared to put your name to it, you can always comment - but I'd appreciate it if you were polite, especially if you're commenting to another commenter. Heck, if you've got something to say to me anonymously, you can do it right here on this post. If you'd rather it not be public, you can use the feedback form and not put your email address in the form. But you can also always email me nonymously. I don't bite.