Fic: All the While it Was You - Part Four (Charlie/Claire)
Title: All the While it Was You - Part Four
Rating: PG-13
Summary: He looked from her to the floor, back and forth until both of their gazes seemed to lift as one and they looked into each other’s eyes.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lost. At all. I wish but alas...
Author's Note: This is AU based on Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg. Claire is a barista at a coffee shop and Charlie is a musician who plays there. This is a Charlie/Claire story, but it's gonna take a bit to get there, so bear with me. There are also some other pairings sprinkled through here as well.
Previous Parts: Part One | Part Two | Part Three
He just kept beating his head against the sink’s cabinet door. He was fairly confident no one could hear him over the music just out the door. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Hurley was so right, he couldn’t deny that. He heard Liam’s voice in his head all the time - telling him he could never make music on his own, that he was a loser. Even now, in his mind, he could hear Liam calling him a chickenshit for not even being able to talk to a girl. Which is why he was beating his head against the sink’s cabinet door.
He’d been drowning in his own self-pity for almost twenty minutes when the door all but crashed open and he gave a start. He heard a stifled gasp and looked up to see Claire. She stared down at him like a deer caught in the headlights, and she looked completely different than she had when he had last seen her. Her face was damp, her eyes were puffy, and her make-up was running a bit. She had been crying, and she had obviously run into the bathroom for some privacy. He scrambled to his feet.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” she sniffled, reaching for the door handle to turn around and leave. He reached out and stopped her.
“No, no, I’m sorry,” he insisted. “Stay, I’ll go. It’s okay.”
She shook her head. “No, you stay. You looked like you wanted to be alone.” She shuddered a bit, obviously trying not to cry in front of him. He reached over and pulled a kleenex out of the box on the counter. He handed it to her.
“So do you,” he replied as she wiped her eyes and blew her nose. He backed away from the door, and so did she. Taking a few deep breaths, her back hit the door with a thunk. Charlie sat on the edge of the toilet and looked at her compassionately. He asked himself what the right thing was to do. Should he ask her what was wrong? Or should he back off and leave her alone?
A few minutes passed in silence and it was clear that his restraint wasn’t doing her any good, because she had slid down the door and all but buried her face in her arms. He felt stupid and awkward and he wished he had left when he had the chance. She didn’t need him here, seeing her like this and probably making it all the worse for her.
“A-Are you okay?” he asked, and after he had, he concluded it was the dumbest thing he had ever said. She stifled a sob and he remedied himself as fast as he could. “I mean, do you want to talk about it? O-or I could just sit here and shut up and pretend I’m not here if you want.”
She shook her head at him, wiping her face with the tissue she gave him. “I…” She bit her lip. “I have this boyfriend, Thomas, in Australia…well, I had this boyfriend, because I’m pretty sure he just broke up with me over the telephone.” Charlie wasn’t great with women, but even that struck him as a very obvious dick move. “We had our problems, you know, and he never wanted me to move here, to the States, but I wanted to make it work.” Tears kept falling down her cheeks, and even though she was obviously heartbroken, she was even more obviously furious. “He’s such a damn coward. He always has been. Maybe I should have seen this coming.”
“Hey, no,” Charlie said, shaking his head. “Maybe that’s true, maybe it’s not, but that doesn’t matter. He had no right to end it that way. And if that phone call from yesterday and how he’s made you feel right now is any indication, you’re probably a lot better off without him.”
Her head listed to one side, as if it were suddenly very heavy, and she closed her eyes. Her face looked so tight, and she looked so lost. His first instinct was to go over to her, to sit with her and hold her hand, or touch her shoulder, or something. Something useful, reassuring. But he felt as though he was bolted to the seat. He looked from her to the floor, back and forth until both of their gazes seemed to lift as one and they looked into each other’s eyes.
“I know you’re right,” she said, nodding, her voice hollow. “But…sometimes you get so used to having someone around that, even though they can say hurtful things and treat you badly…they’re still there in your head. And it’s hard to let them go.”
Charlie looked at her for a long time, and her at him, until it became like staring into the sun. “Yeah,” he answered, lifelessly. He thought of all of the things that had brought him here tonight and their importance seemed to shrink under the weight of Claire’s profound truth.
She had no way to know that what she had said had made such an impact on him, because the only way he could think to show it was in a way that would only be understood by him. He stood up from his head and approached her slowly. Because he was only a bit bigger than her, he managed to fit himself into the empty space at her side. He laid his hand on top of hers. She turned to him and he smiled compassionately.
He didn’t know what to say to her. He had no answers for himself, and he couldn’t pretend he had any real advice to give to her. There was nothing to be said, really. They were stuck with their pasts until they learned how to let them go. But, for him at least, there was some comfort in knowing he wasn’t alone.
*
“Dude, where were you all night?” Hurley asked him while they were driving him. The party had broken up somewhere around midnight, maybe a bit after. He had spent all but the last ten minutes in the bathroom with Claire. They hadn’t done much more talking, but they had sat together until they had felt comfortable enough to be surrounded with people again. Claire had gone straight to her room, and Charlie had helped her there. He had informed Jack what was going on, and it seemed to concern him a great deal. Charlie assumed he probably already knew about Thomas already.
Jack had just been thanking him when Hurley had called to him and said they were heading out.
“I was talking to Claire,” he answered. The whole truth would require a lot more elaboration, and most of the story really wasn’t his to tell.
“Huh,” Hurley said. “What happened to Shannon?”
“Honey,” Libby grunted, tiredly. As much as she had been on Hurley’s side tonight, it seemed she was less eager to push him.
“I saw Claire first,” Charlie said, simply. Luckily for him, they pulled up to his building before Hurley had the chance to ask him any more questions. He said goodbye to them both, getting a ‘later dude’ from Hurley and an ‘umm hmm’ from Libby. She looked pretty wiped out.
As he walked up the stairs to his apartment, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had been any help to Claire, or if it would have been better for her if she had been able to be alone tonight. He wasn’t much more than a stranger to her, and she had been vulnerable with him in a big way tonight. He wondered if she had really been comfortable with him being there, or if she had just been being polite. When he entered his apartment, he got his answer.
His answering machine was blinking ‘1’ and he pressed play as he took off his jacket.
A sniffle was the first thing he heard. “Um, hi Charlie, it’s Claire. I-I hope this number is right. I got it from Jack, who got it from Hurley, I think, a-and his handwriting is kind of lousy. Anyway, I wanted to call you and thank you for tonight. I went into that bathroom thinking I wanted to be alone, but…it was good you were there.” There was a long pause. “Thanks for being there.” And another long pause. “Bye.”
Part Five
Rating: PG-13
Summary: He looked from her to the floor, back and forth until both of their gazes seemed to lift as one and they looked into each other’s eyes.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lost. At all. I wish but alas...
Author's Note: This is AU based on Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg. Claire is a barista at a coffee shop and Charlie is a musician who plays there. This is a Charlie/Claire story, but it's gonna take a bit to get there, so bear with me. There are also some other pairings sprinkled through here as well.
Previous Parts: Part One | Part Two | Part Three
He just kept beating his head against the sink’s cabinet door. He was fairly confident no one could hear him over the music just out the door. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Hurley was so right, he couldn’t deny that. He heard Liam’s voice in his head all the time - telling him he could never make music on his own, that he was a loser. Even now, in his mind, he could hear Liam calling him a chickenshit for not even being able to talk to a girl. Which is why he was beating his head against the sink’s cabinet door.
He’d been drowning in his own self-pity for almost twenty minutes when the door all but crashed open and he gave a start. He heard a stifled gasp and looked up to see Claire. She stared down at him like a deer caught in the headlights, and she looked completely different than she had when he had last seen her. Her face was damp, her eyes were puffy, and her make-up was running a bit. She had been crying, and she had obviously run into the bathroom for some privacy. He scrambled to his feet.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” she sniffled, reaching for the door handle to turn around and leave. He reached out and stopped her.
“No, no, I’m sorry,” he insisted. “Stay, I’ll go. It’s okay.”
She shook her head. “No, you stay. You looked like you wanted to be alone.” She shuddered a bit, obviously trying not to cry in front of him. He reached over and pulled a kleenex out of the box on the counter. He handed it to her.
“So do you,” he replied as she wiped her eyes and blew her nose. He backed away from the door, and so did she. Taking a few deep breaths, her back hit the door with a thunk. Charlie sat on the edge of the toilet and looked at her compassionately. He asked himself what the right thing was to do. Should he ask her what was wrong? Or should he back off and leave her alone?
A few minutes passed in silence and it was clear that his restraint wasn’t doing her any good, because she had slid down the door and all but buried her face in her arms. He felt stupid and awkward and he wished he had left when he had the chance. She didn’t need him here, seeing her like this and probably making it all the worse for her.
“A-Are you okay?” he asked, and after he had, he concluded it was the dumbest thing he had ever said. She stifled a sob and he remedied himself as fast as he could. “I mean, do you want to talk about it? O-or I could just sit here and shut up and pretend I’m not here if you want.”
She shook her head at him, wiping her face with the tissue she gave him. “I…” She bit her lip. “I have this boyfriend, Thomas, in Australia…well, I had this boyfriend, because I’m pretty sure he just broke up with me over the telephone.” Charlie wasn’t great with women, but even that struck him as a very obvious dick move. “We had our problems, you know, and he never wanted me to move here, to the States, but I wanted to make it work.” Tears kept falling down her cheeks, and even though she was obviously heartbroken, she was even more obviously furious. “He’s such a damn coward. He always has been. Maybe I should have seen this coming.”
“Hey, no,” Charlie said, shaking his head. “Maybe that’s true, maybe it’s not, but that doesn’t matter. He had no right to end it that way. And if that phone call from yesterday and how he’s made you feel right now is any indication, you’re probably a lot better off without him.”
Her head listed to one side, as if it were suddenly very heavy, and she closed her eyes. Her face looked so tight, and she looked so lost. His first instinct was to go over to her, to sit with her and hold her hand, or touch her shoulder, or something. Something useful, reassuring. But he felt as though he was bolted to the seat. He looked from her to the floor, back and forth until both of their gazes seemed to lift as one and they looked into each other’s eyes.
“I know you’re right,” she said, nodding, her voice hollow. “But…sometimes you get so used to having someone around that, even though they can say hurtful things and treat you badly…they’re still there in your head. And it’s hard to let them go.”
Charlie looked at her for a long time, and her at him, until it became like staring into the sun. “Yeah,” he answered, lifelessly. He thought of all of the things that had brought him here tonight and their importance seemed to shrink under the weight of Claire’s profound truth.
She had no way to know that what she had said had made such an impact on him, because the only way he could think to show it was in a way that would only be understood by him. He stood up from his head and approached her slowly. Because he was only a bit bigger than her, he managed to fit himself into the empty space at her side. He laid his hand on top of hers. She turned to him and he smiled compassionately.
He didn’t know what to say to her. He had no answers for himself, and he couldn’t pretend he had any real advice to give to her. There was nothing to be said, really. They were stuck with their pasts until they learned how to let them go. But, for him at least, there was some comfort in knowing he wasn’t alone.
*
“Dude, where were you all night?” Hurley asked him while they were driving him. The party had broken up somewhere around midnight, maybe a bit after. He had spent all but the last ten minutes in the bathroom with Claire. They hadn’t done much more talking, but they had sat together until they had felt comfortable enough to be surrounded with people again. Claire had gone straight to her room, and Charlie had helped her there. He had informed Jack what was going on, and it seemed to concern him a great deal. Charlie assumed he probably already knew about Thomas already.
Jack had just been thanking him when Hurley had called to him and said they were heading out.
“I was talking to Claire,” he answered. The whole truth would require a lot more elaboration, and most of the story really wasn’t his to tell.
“Huh,” Hurley said. “What happened to Shannon?”
“Honey,” Libby grunted, tiredly. As much as she had been on Hurley’s side tonight, it seemed she was less eager to push him.
“I saw Claire first,” Charlie said, simply. Luckily for him, they pulled up to his building before Hurley had the chance to ask him any more questions. He said goodbye to them both, getting a ‘later dude’ from Hurley and an ‘umm hmm’ from Libby. She looked pretty wiped out.
As he walked up the stairs to his apartment, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had been any help to Claire, or if it would have been better for her if she had been able to be alone tonight. He wasn’t much more than a stranger to her, and she had been vulnerable with him in a big way tonight. He wondered if she had really been comfortable with him being there, or if she had just been being polite. When he entered his apartment, he got his answer.
His answering machine was blinking ‘1’ and he pressed play as he took off his jacket.
A sniffle was the first thing he heard. “Um, hi Charlie, it’s Claire. I-I hope this number is right. I got it from Jack, who got it from Hurley, I think, a-and his handwriting is kind of lousy. Anyway, I wanted to call you and thank you for tonight. I went into that bathroom thinking I wanted to be alone, but…it was good you were there.” There was a long pause. “Thanks for being there.” And another long pause. “Bye.”
Part Five