The Unbearable Weight of Being - Part 2
I guess, technically, she had the stroke on October 23rd, but I wouldn't know about it until the 24th. My mother had a Medi-alert necklace. It had a GPS chip in it and I could check her location on my phone. It also would let me know if my mother had to hit the button to talk to a representative from the medi-alert company.
That afternoon, October 23rd, we were in the middle of trying to find out what was happening with Michael's train, when I got a notice that my mother had hit the button on her necklace. The app told me that the representative had called EMS for my mom. I tried to call her on her cell phone- the new one, and there was no answer so I tried to call her apartment and there was no answer there either. I wasn't worried because my mom having difficulties had been The New Normal since her accident in 2014. I figured that she was feeling poorly and she would call me once she could, or someone from the hospital would call me if EMS had ended up taking her to the ER. Then we got caught up and Michael arriving and getting him to where we were staying for the night and I just let it go until the following morning.
On Saturday October 24th, I tried calling my mom again and there was still no answer on either of her phones. I checked the app on my phone and it showed that my mom was in her apartment, or at least her Med Alert necklace was in her apartment. With no answer on either her cell phone or land-line, I called the building manager and ask her if she knew what was going on. She said they had no record of EMS coming into the building the night before, but she would send someone to check on my mom. She called me back a little bit later to tell me that my mom was not in her apartment (but her medi-alert necklace was), and that EMS had most likely taken her to the hospital. She gave me a list of area medical centers in order of most likely where EMS would have taken my mom, and I tracked her down at the first one.
At that point, no one would tell me anything because my mother had not regained consciousness, and they did not have a medical power of attorney for her on file at the hospital. I was in the process of gathering that information, and securing the legal documents my mother had drawn up for her living will and power of attorney, when the hospital called me back. My mother had regained consciousness enough to give them permission to talk to me. They told me that my mother had aspiration pneumonia, and that she'd had a stroke. She had been admitted to the ICU. They told me they were getting her stabilized. I told them I was getting the documents they needed, and I would be there on Sunday.
On Sunday October 25th, I switched vehicles with my brother Jeffrey, and Mark and I drove his van to New Port Richey. We unloaded the stuff from Jeff’s van into my mom's apartment and headed to the hospital. Medical staff told me that they were aggressively treating my mother's pneumonia and that she was awake and communicating. When Mark and I went into her room she recognized me and asked me why I put her there. I told her that I didn't put her there; that she had hit the button on her necklace and EMS had brought her to the hospital. She seemed to accept this, and asked Mark to carry her out of the ICU. We told her that she was very sick, that she had pneumonia, and she had a stroke, and that she needed to stay in the hospital. She told me that she was seeing angels. This was something she had done before the last time she was in the ICU after her bypass surgery. She had nearly died 4 times in the O.R and in the ICU after her surgery, so they had kept her in a medically-induced coma for a few days to give her heart time to heal. When she was brought out of the coma she insisted that there was an angel child sitting in the chair next to her bed. I told her this time that the angels were not there to hurt her and that everything was going to be fine. I talked with the medical staff about her prognosis and what was best to do. They told me they were continuing to treat the pneumonia and monitoring for further bleeding on her brain indicative of more strokes.
After meeting with my mom's medical staff, I visited my mom again and told her that I would see her later. I had to get back to Orlando with Jeff's van because the other members of the family were arriving and we have to get everybody checked in to our resort. My niece and her husband were arriving along with my nephew, his wife and daughter, and my sister-in-law. We were all convening at the resort and going to dinner. I checked in with the hospital staff on Monday and headed back to New Port Richey on Tuesday.
On Tuesday, Oct 27, I was told that my mother had been declared non compos mentis due to her continued disorientation and confusion. The default for her care then fell to me and to her Living Will. The medical staff told me that she was responding to the antibiotics, but that she was still on 2L O2 for breathing issues. I was also informed that she was having a great deal of difficulty eating without choking, and that she was an extreme aspiration risk.
On Wednesday, the medical staff reported no changes in my mom’s condition and that the latest MRI showed no additional bleeding on her brain, but then they dropped a bomb about a possible heart attack. Apparently there were markers that she'd had one. I guess someone neglected to mention it when I was there on Tuesday. I told them to continue what they were doing and let me know if anything changed.
On Thursday, I got a call from my mother’s doctor. He informed me that my mom had taken a turn for the worse. She was now on 4L O2 administered through a bi-pap mask. He said that without a ventilator tube or a feeding tube, she would die. Unfortunately, my mother’s living will said no to both, and she was in no mental condition to tell them otherwise. I called our lawyer and had her draw up paperwork for me to step in as my mother’s replacement in the ongoing saga between my mother and my aunt over the money from the sale of my grandmother’s house.
On Friday I said goodbye to my niece and nephew from Kansas, put Michael on the train back to PA, and Mark, Jen and I drove back to New Port Richey. Jeff and his wife followed and got a hotel in town. After visiting my mom, we found her somewhat improved, although she was still not able to swallow, and she was driving the staff crazy because she kept ripping out her IVs. They had to tie her wrists to the bed rails to keep her from hurting herself. Jen and Mark got on the road North because they had to meet Michael at the train station when his train got to Harrisburg. Jeff and Martha stayed with me so I would have transportation to and from the hospital until Mark could get back to FL in my mom’s 2005 Pontiac Vibe.
It was decided that we would give Mom the weekend to see if she would continue to improve. She was moved out of the ICU to a “guarded” ward. Depending on how the weekend went, she would be moved to a rehab facility, a long term care home, or a hospice facility on Monday. I said good-bye to Mark and Jen, and they left for PA. Jeff and Martha stayed with me until Mark got back with the Pontiac on Monday.
The weekend showed no significant improvement. Rehab was out because she was unable to stand and follow directions. Long term care was out because she was unable to eat without aspirating.
On Monday, November 2, my mom was transferred to Gulfside Hospice.
TBC in Part 3.
That afternoon, October 23rd, we were in the middle of trying to find out what was happening with Michael's train, when I got a notice that my mother had hit the button on her necklace. The app told me that the representative had called EMS for my mom. I tried to call her on her cell phone- the new one, and there was no answer so I tried to call her apartment and there was no answer there either. I wasn't worried because my mom having difficulties had been The New Normal since her accident in 2014. I figured that she was feeling poorly and she would call me once she could, or someone from the hospital would call me if EMS had ended up taking her to the ER. Then we got caught up and Michael arriving and getting him to where we were staying for the night and I just let it go until the following morning.
On Saturday October 24th, I tried calling my mom again and there was still no answer on either of her phones. I checked the app on my phone and it showed that my mom was in her apartment, or at least her Med Alert necklace was in her apartment. With no answer on either her cell phone or land-line, I called the building manager and ask her if she knew what was going on. She said they had no record of EMS coming into the building the night before, but she would send someone to check on my mom. She called me back a little bit later to tell me that my mom was not in her apartment (but her medi-alert necklace was), and that EMS had most likely taken her to the hospital. She gave me a list of area medical centers in order of most likely where EMS would have taken my mom, and I tracked her down at the first one.
At that point, no one would tell me anything because my mother had not regained consciousness, and they did not have a medical power of attorney for her on file at the hospital. I was in the process of gathering that information, and securing the legal documents my mother had drawn up for her living will and power of attorney, when the hospital called me back. My mother had regained consciousness enough to give them permission to talk to me. They told me that my mother had aspiration pneumonia, and that she'd had a stroke. She had been admitted to the ICU. They told me they were getting her stabilized. I told them I was getting the documents they needed, and I would be there on Sunday.
On Sunday October 25th, I switched vehicles with my brother Jeffrey, and Mark and I drove his van to New Port Richey. We unloaded the stuff from Jeff’s van into my mom's apartment and headed to the hospital. Medical staff told me that they were aggressively treating my mother's pneumonia and that she was awake and communicating. When Mark and I went into her room she recognized me and asked me why I put her there. I told her that I didn't put her there; that she had hit the button on her necklace and EMS had brought her to the hospital. She seemed to accept this, and asked Mark to carry her out of the ICU. We told her that she was very sick, that she had pneumonia, and she had a stroke, and that she needed to stay in the hospital. She told me that she was seeing angels. This was something she had done before the last time she was in the ICU after her bypass surgery. She had nearly died 4 times in the O.R and in the ICU after her surgery, so they had kept her in a medically-induced coma for a few days to give her heart time to heal. When she was brought out of the coma she insisted that there was an angel child sitting in the chair next to her bed. I told her this time that the angels were not there to hurt her and that everything was going to be fine. I talked with the medical staff about her prognosis and what was best to do. They told me they were continuing to treat the pneumonia and monitoring for further bleeding on her brain indicative of more strokes.
After meeting with my mom's medical staff, I visited my mom again and told her that I would see her later. I had to get back to Orlando with Jeff's van because the other members of the family were arriving and we have to get everybody checked in to our resort. My niece and her husband were arriving along with my nephew, his wife and daughter, and my sister-in-law. We were all convening at the resort and going to dinner. I checked in with the hospital staff on Monday and headed back to New Port Richey on Tuesday.
On Tuesday, Oct 27, I was told that my mother had been declared non compos mentis due to her continued disorientation and confusion. The default for her care then fell to me and to her Living Will. The medical staff told me that she was responding to the antibiotics, but that she was still on 2L O2 for breathing issues. I was also informed that she was having a great deal of difficulty eating without choking, and that she was an extreme aspiration risk.
On Wednesday, the medical staff reported no changes in my mom’s condition and that the latest MRI showed no additional bleeding on her brain, but then they dropped a bomb about a possible heart attack. Apparently there were markers that she'd had one. I guess someone neglected to mention it when I was there on Tuesday. I told them to continue what they were doing and let me know if anything changed.
On Thursday, I got a call from my mother’s doctor. He informed me that my mom had taken a turn for the worse. She was now on 4L O2 administered through a bi-pap mask. He said that without a ventilator tube or a feeding tube, she would die. Unfortunately, my mother’s living will said no to both, and she was in no mental condition to tell them otherwise. I called our lawyer and had her draw up paperwork for me to step in as my mother’s replacement in the ongoing saga between my mother and my aunt over the money from the sale of my grandmother’s house.
On Friday I said goodbye to my niece and nephew from Kansas, put Michael on the train back to PA, and Mark, Jen and I drove back to New Port Richey. Jeff and his wife followed and got a hotel in town. After visiting my mom, we found her somewhat improved, although she was still not able to swallow, and she was driving the staff crazy because she kept ripping out her IVs. They had to tie her wrists to the bed rails to keep her from hurting herself. Jen and Mark got on the road North because they had to meet Michael at the train station when his train got to Harrisburg. Jeff and Martha stayed with me so I would have transportation to and from the hospital until Mark could get back to FL in my mom’s 2005 Pontiac Vibe.
It was decided that we would give Mom the weekend to see if she would continue to improve. She was moved out of the ICU to a “guarded” ward. Depending on how the weekend went, she would be moved to a rehab facility, a long term care home, or a hospice facility on Monday. I said good-bye to Mark and Jen, and they left for PA. Jeff and Martha stayed with me until Mark got back with the Pontiac on Monday.
The weekend showed no significant improvement. Rehab was out because she was unable to stand and follow directions. Long term care was out because she was unable to eat without aspirating.
On Monday, November 2, my mom was transferred to Gulfside Hospice.
TBC in Part 3.