Tarot Dreams
I was dreaming the other night. I was in a tattoo studio and the artist was paid and prepared to ink me with whatever symbols I wanted. I wanted tarot cards.
I've wanted tarot cards for some time..."strength" for my first-degree journey, because, oh, my God, does that card sum up the things I put myself through and the way I had to conquer myself. And I have puzzled long over the card that sums up my second degree, and I had thought for some time of "death," because of the traditional imagery of that card and how it meshes with the degree itself.
In my dream, I was going through my miniature deck, looking for the cards I wanted, and they simply weren't there; all of the minor arcana was there, but most of the major arcana was missing, and the ones that were still there had different imagery...the celestial symbols, the sun, the moon, the star, and the world...not only was the imagery different, but they were duplicated...there were two copies of each. And to add to the mystery, there was a third set of cards, with images I had never seen, and the cards were cut into an egg-shape, with the names partially or completely obscured.
I know when my subconscious is talking to me. I woke with the feeling that the tattoo artist himself was my hierophant, and that my mind wants me to re-examine my symbols; I am sitting on something that will hatch soon, some new evolution of self. It doesn't worry me...actually, it has me feeling quietly joyful and curious, just this waiting to see. I can wait...if my previous two journeys have taught me anything, it is that things will happen when they are supposed to happen, and nothing I do will make it come faster or stop it.
But it did make me go back and look at the tarot again. My second degree card is definetly the "hanged man." Wisdom gained from isolation, from examination of the consequences of action, of pain and fear turned into Divine spark. He is so very much mine, and more appropriate to my personal sequence after "strength."
The "fool" is calling to me next...has been calling to me for some time. Much as I began my second degree path long before I finished my first, so my third began to pull and call to me before I'd taken my second; I have never in my life done things one at a time or the easy way, so why start now?
The Tree of Life sends you up that center pillar, and the end is the beginning...you think you've made it through Kether, and you're right back at Malkuth, stripping away whatever wisdom you think you've garnered and doing it all over again. So with the Fool's Journey through the tarot...you make it through fear and joy, good and evil, death and resurrection, only to find yourself right back on that "fool" card, ready to step into the void and begin your journey anew, without fear or hesitation, foolish for your own wisdom and wise for your own foolishness, all things and all possibilities laid out at your feet.
The "fool" is definetly my next card.
She calls, in the back of my mind, all the time. I hold the card, and I can feel the freshness of beginning, the freedom of an innocent lack of fear; I also feel the enormous responsibility of true innocence, the lack of good or evil, the lack of dark or light. It does not frighten me, but I am very aware of it.
I was shopping in an import store a few weeks ago, and I was looking through Halloween masks from Italy, and a face peeked out that struck me like a thunderbolt. It was Her, my Trickster and Fool, as I have seen her so many times in my mind's eye. It was Her face, captured in leather and laquer and resin, laughing to me across the vast divide of conscious thought. I wanted her, but I had no money, so I wrote down the UPC and inventory description, and I found her online. I will be purchasing that mask as soon as I can make the room in the budget. I wanted to weep as I left her in that store and went home without her.
Something's brewing in me. Something is definetly coming.
I've wanted tarot cards for some time..."strength" for my first-degree journey, because, oh, my God, does that card sum up the things I put myself through and the way I had to conquer myself. And I have puzzled long over the card that sums up my second degree, and I had thought for some time of "death," because of the traditional imagery of that card and how it meshes with the degree itself.
In my dream, I was going through my miniature deck, looking for the cards I wanted, and they simply weren't there; all of the minor arcana was there, but most of the major arcana was missing, and the ones that were still there had different imagery...the celestial symbols, the sun, the moon, the star, and the world...not only was the imagery different, but they were duplicated...there were two copies of each. And to add to the mystery, there was a third set of cards, with images I had never seen, and the cards were cut into an egg-shape, with the names partially or completely obscured.
I know when my subconscious is talking to me. I woke with the feeling that the tattoo artist himself was my hierophant, and that my mind wants me to re-examine my symbols; I am sitting on something that will hatch soon, some new evolution of self. It doesn't worry me...actually, it has me feeling quietly joyful and curious, just this waiting to see. I can wait...if my previous two journeys have taught me anything, it is that things will happen when they are supposed to happen, and nothing I do will make it come faster or stop it.
But it did make me go back and look at the tarot again. My second degree card is definetly the "hanged man." Wisdom gained from isolation, from examination of the consequences of action, of pain and fear turned into Divine spark. He is so very much mine, and more appropriate to my personal sequence after "strength."
The "fool" is calling to me next...has been calling to me for some time. Much as I began my second degree path long before I finished my first, so my third began to pull and call to me before I'd taken my second; I have never in my life done things one at a time or the easy way, so why start now?
The Tree of Life sends you up that center pillar, and the end is the beginning...you think you've made it through Kether, and you're right back at Malkuth, stripping away whatever wisdom you think you've garnered and doing it all over again. So with the Fool's Journey through the tarot...you make it through fear and joy, good and evil, death and resurrection, only to find yourself right back on that "fool" card, ready to step into the void and begin your journey anew, without fear or hesitation, foolish for your own wisdom and wise for your own foolishness, all things and all possibilities laid out at your feet.
The "fool" is definetly my next card.
She calls, in the back of my mind, all the time. I hold the card, and I can feel the freshness of beginning, the freedom of an innocent lack of fear; I also feel the enormous responsibility of true innocence, the lack of good or evil, the lack of dark or light. It does not frighten me, but I am very aware of it.
I was shopping in an import store a few weeks ago, and I was looking through Halloween masks from Italy, and a face peeked out that struck me like a thunderbolt. It was Her, my Trickster and Fool, as I have seen her so many times in my mind's eye. It was Her face, captured in leather and laquer and resin, laughing to me across the vast divide of conscious thought. I wanted her, but I had no money, so I wrote down the UPC and inventory description, and I found her online. I will be purchasing that mask as soon as I can make the room in the budget. I wanted to weep as I left her in that store and went home without her.
Something's brewing in me. Something is definetly coming.