[FIC] One More Try: Chapter 14
Title: One More Try
Author: isha_mabin
Pairing: AKAME, JinxOC
Rating: PG-15 - NC-17
Genre: Romance, AU, Angst
Disclaimer: I only own half of the plot and the original character Stephanie Jones, nothing (and no one) else
Summary: Everything was going well for Kazuya Akanishi. He had an awesome and drop-dead hot (not to mention rich) husband that loves him very much, supportive parents and equally supportive in-laws, crazy but otherwise loyal friends...and to top it off, he had just been promoted to being a director of the biggest interior design company in New York. His life was perfect. Until his husband's past came back to haunt them. And with this past, certain things are revealed and these things threatened to destroy the perfect life Kazuya thought he had.
A/N: Late again T_T I'm really sorry *deep bow* School started again and my subjects are demanding. I'm also busy with my writing job and I didn't want to force myself to write this chapter because it may come out rushed if I do so especially if my mindset is still set on the technical writing stuff.
APOLOGY FIC: My Solemn Vow
For those who haven't seen the trailer for this fic yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUvpQKiZcQ8
I'm sorry the quality isn't that great. I forgot to set it to High Quality when I was uploading it to youtube. I might re-upload it when I have time though but for now, I'd be glad if you check it out ^^
And thanks to harajukyuu for the wonderful banner!!!
Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Cahpter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13
Chapter 14:
The first thing Jin saw the moment he opened his eyes was his mother staring at him with teary eyes and a trembling hand on her mouth. It was like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
Jin was about to question if this quiet lady is really the same woman who shook the whole house with her furious yell whenever Jin was misbehaving but before he could do that, his mother broke the silence with her infamous shriek.
“You’re awake! Oh my God you’re awake!”
“W-water…” Jin’s throat felt so dry.
“Oh of course.” Jin’s mother hurriedly went to the bedside table and poured some water in a glass. She then gave the water to her son. “Here, be careful.” She assisted him in drinking.
Once Jin handed her the empty glass, she let her tears flow and she embraced her son’s head tightly against her chest the way she used to when he was a little boy and she was particularly fond of him.
“Mom, let go!’ Jin grumbled. He could talk properly now that he had some water but his voice was still quite hoarse. “You already rendered me deaf with your shriek. Are you going to crush my head too?”
“Oh shut up Jin. You know you took after her.”
Jin managed to turn away from his mother enough to look at his younger brother who just entered the hospital room he was in. “Reio!” ‘Help me!’ He mouthed.
Reio sighed. “Mom, stop suffocating Jin. You’re hurting him.”
Their mom immediately let go. “Sorry. I was just so happy. You scared us, Jin!”
“Thanks Reio,” Jin said, ignoring his mother’s glare. “And for the record, I did not take after her shriek.”
“If you say so,” Reio shrugged. He turned to his mother. “You should call Dad, right? To tell him the good news.” Reio extended his cellphone to his mother.
“You’re right! Take care of your brother. I’ll just talk to your father for a while. Oh he’ll be so happy!” Mrs. Akanishi took the phone and went outside to talk to her husband.
“You really are stupid, you know. To be stabbed by your husband.”
Jin looked at Reio in surprise. “You know about what happened?” His mind was still a little fuzzy but he clearly remembered the events leading to the accident.
“Well I think I deserved to know why my brother was beaten within an inch of his life and stabbed by a kitchen knife and why Kazuya had blood on his hands and a guilty expression on his face.”
“He didn’t mean it. Kazuya was just startled. I startled him,” Jin explained adamantly.
“Jin, you were beaten and stabbed. How is that unintentional?”
“I told you, it was an accident,” Jin insisted. “Does…does Mom and Dad know too?”
“No. They arrived a little later than me. I just told them you were mugged. I didn’t think you’d want them to know who really did that to you.”
“Thank you Reio. I owe you for that but again, it was an accident.”
“Fine. I wasn’t there anyway so maybe it really was an accident.” Reio’s voice though was doubtful. “By the way, your friend Tomohisa Yamashita left me this note when he visited. He told me to give it to you as soon as you when you wake up.”
‘I’m sorry I can’t stay. I can’t leave Kazuya alone after what happened. He’s not okay. He blames himself, Jin. If it wouldn’t be too much to ask, could you see him as soon as you’re okay? He needs you.’ - Pi
“Reio, do me a favor please.”
“What is it?”
Jin pulled the IV out of his hand, earning Reio’s gasp. “Get me out of here. I need to see Kazuya.”
------
“Kazuya, you need to eat at least a little.”
“Pi…I want to end my life...”
Pi was instantly alarmed. His cousin had warned him that Kazuya might have suicidal thoughts but nothing could have prepared him for this moment. What do you say when a close friend says he wants to die?
“It hurts too much to be alive,” Kazuya continued before Pi could say anything. “When I’m awake, when I’m asleep…it doesn’t change anything…I can still remember what happened. I can hear myself begging for them to stop. I can hear them laughing. I can feel the pain. I wish I could just forget…”
“Kazuya…” Pi brushed Kazuya’s hair away from his face. He knew Kazuya was ashamed of what happened to him years ago and there was nothing that Pi could say that will ever change that.
His words weren’t Kazuya’s healing potion. Pi wasn’t Kazuya’s hero. He just hoped Jin wakes up soon and be able to talk to Kazuya. He is the only person who could get through the younger man now.
“I even dragged Jin down with me. Just because of my stupid emotional scars. Jin is going to die and it’s all because of his psychotic husband,” Kazuya spat with self-disgust. “The least I could do is to be with him in death.”
Pi shook Kazuya’s shoulders lightly. “Listen to me, Kazuya. You are not psychotic! You are just hurting. You will heal in time. Your heart will recover. And Jin is not going to die. He’s fighting for his life and you’re not doing him any favors by dying. Do you want Jin to wake up and find you gone? It will kill him Kazuya. It will kill him more than a stab will ever achieve.”
Kazuya shook his head and cried upon remembering the state Jin was in. He was already physically weak because of Tatsuya’s beating and the stab had made it worst. “The doctor told us he might never wake up.”
“It’s not yet a sure thing,” Pi insisted. Kazuya needed something to hold on to. That was why Pi was hoping Jin won’t give up. He was hoping Jin would fight and open his eyes soon.
Because Pi knew the moment Jin’s heart stops beating, Kazuya will die with him.
------
“Jin, what the fuck?! You just woke up from a week-long coma! Your wounds may reopen and the doctor didn’t even get to check on you today!” Reio scolded while assisting Jin down to the parking lot. He had no choice however but to agree to his older brother’s demands because Jin threatened to go alone if Reio didn’t help him. That would be a bigger problem, if ever.
“Shut up Reio! The sooner I get to Kazuya, the sooner you can return me to the hospital. So just drive,” Jin retorted.
“Patience Reio, patience,” Reio muttered to himself as he turned on the car’s ignition and drove out of the hospital, occasionally glancing at Jin who was sitting on the passenger seat.
Jin, on the other hand, ignored his brother’s grumbling and looked outside the car window. He bit his lips worriedly. He was anxious to see and talk to Kazuya.
I told him it wasn’t his fault. I remember I said that before I passed out. Didn’t he hear me?
He remained quiet as he pondered what to say to Kazuya as soon as he saw him, only speaking once in a while to instruct his brother about the directions to Pi’s house.
“We’re here,” Reio said after a while.
The car’s ignition was still running when Jin got off.
“Hey! Jin, slow down! Your wounds!” Reio cautioned, alarmed at the pace his brother was walking - or more like jogging - towards the front door of Tomohisa Yamashita’s house.
--------
Pi was startled when he heard yelling outside the house. He thought he heard Jin’s name.
“Kazuya! Kazuya it’s me, Jin!” The shout was accompanied by pounding of the door.
Pi hurriedly opened the door for the man. “Jin, you’re here…Are you okay now?”
“He’s not,” Reio, who had caught up to his brother, snapped. “But he insisted to be here.”
“I’m fine,” Jin retorted. He faced Pi. “Where’s Kazuya?”
“Sleeping. His medicine made him sleepy,” Pi answered. “Jin, are you sure you should be here? You look pale.”
“See? I told you, you don’t look okay. I’m bringing you back to the hospital now!” Reio demanded.
Jin grabbed Pi’s hand and latched it onto his brother’s wrist. “Take care of my brother. My husband needs me.”
He side-stepped the two men and searched for Kazuya. He found him in the first room he checked. His husband was indeed sleeping but even in his sleep, he seemed troubled.
He walked closer and closer to Kazuya and knelt down beside the bed, facing his husband. He touched Kazuya’s cheek and discovered the tear stains on it. “You’ve been crying?”
Kazuya stirred with Jin’s voice and touch. When he opened his eyes, he thought he was still dreaming when he saw Jin kneeling beside him. “Jin, I’m sorry…You suffered because of me.”
Jin shook his head. “I told you it wasn’t your fault. Stop this self-hate now, Kazu.” He reached over and kissed his husband’s lips. “I’m here now. Safe. We’re together and I’m never going to leave you ever again.”
Kazuya’s eyes widened at Jin’s kiss. It felt so real, too real to be a dream. He sat up. “Jin! It’s really you!”
Jin smiled. “No ‘welcome back’ for me?”
Kazuya punched his arm. “Idiot. How can you be so nonchalant? How can you forgive me so easily? I almost killed you…”
“It was an accident Kazuya. Besides, do you think I’ll leave you alone after I finally knew what happened when you disappeared? After the hell you went through because of me? Not likely. I’ll stick to you like glue whether you like it or not.” Jin held Kazuya’s hands. “But I don’t want you to forgive me just because of this accident. It wouldn’t be fair.”
“I forgive you. I forgive you because I love you. Oh God, I’m so glad you’re okay,” Kazuya said immediately and threw his arms around Jin’s neck. “Welcome back,” he whispered.
Jin smiled and wrapped his arms around Kazuya. “I’m home.”
Kazuya pulled back and gasped when he saw Jin’s shirt. “Jin, you’re bleeding!”
Jin looked puzzled and then he winced when he looked down on himself. “I knew I felt pain.”
“Jin!” Reio barged inside the room. He immediately saw the blood. “Damn it! I told you, you shouldn’t have left the hospital right after you woke up!”
“What? You rushed here?” Kazuya exclaimed. “Jin! How could you be so careless?!”
Jin pouted. “I’m sorry.”
“That might have been my fault,” Pi interrupted. “I told him to come see you as soon as he was awake,” he said to Kazuya.
“Why did you do that?!” Kazuya nearly growled.
“You were talking about suicide, Kazuya!” Pi defended.
“What?! You were talking about suicide?!” Jin nearly yelled then groaned when it put more pressure on his wound
“Can we please all talk about this in the hospital?” Reio said, exasperated.
-------------------------------------------------
After a long scolding from his doctor, from his mother and from his father, Jin was finally allowed to talk to Kazuya again.
He had been anxious the whole time because there are still a lot of things he and Kazuya had not resolved yet. He had noticed the deep sadness in Kazuya’s eyes and he was troubled by that and the fact that Pi told him Kazuya was talking about suicide.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Kazuya’s voice broke through Jin’s thoughts.
“Like what?”
“Like I’m a puzzle you need to solve,” Kazuya said bluntly.
Jin sighed. “I hope you don’t get angry with me but I remember…I remember asking you why you didn’t tell me what happened to you more than two years ago. Why did you just disappear? You never did answer that question.”
Kazuya looked down. “I didn’t want to bother you. I figured with me gone, you would have started a family with Stephanie.”
Jin shook his head. “Didn’t it ever occur to you that you’re the one I married and you’re the one I love? Why would I choose someone else? Was it that easy for you to let go of me?” Jin’s voice was gentle but firm. If Kazuya had said he blamed him because of what happened, he would have understood. But this…
"If I stood a chance, I would have fought for you! I tried Jin…I really tried. I even made you choose remember? But it wasn't a fair fight from the very beginning. She had something that I can never offer. She's the mother of your kids. I can never compete with that." Kazuya looked at Jin’s eyes. “And to top it off, I’m tainted.”
Jin tried to sit up but his wounds hurt. It was only natural since he had been blatantly ignoring his condition earlier but right now, he was cursing his body for being so weak. He settled instead in holding both of Kazuya’s hand. “Stop this. I don’t regret having Miyuki and Eiji but I do regret hurting you so I can understand if you’re angry with me. But don’t ever talk about yourself as if you’re an object that can be discarded because of what happened to you. It was not your fault Kazuya and it did nothing to change the way I feel about you. I fell in love with a strong, beautiful man whose passion and heart was the best I had ever known. He’s still that person now.”
“Jin…”
“You know, that person took care of me even at my worst. He’d put me first always. I guess it’s my turn now. I want to take care of you, Kazu. Will you let me?”
“You’re lying in a hospital bed, idiot! How can you say you’ll take care of me?” But Kazuya’s eyes glistened with joyful tears, with relief. Jin didn’t find him disgusting, after all.
Jin grinned. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Then he yawned.
“Sleep, Jin.”
As soon as Jin’s breathing evened out as a sign that he was sleeping, Kazuya stepped out of the room where he saw Pi waiting.
“You didn’t leave, Pi? Why didn’t you come inside?”
Pi shrugged. “I thought the two of you needed some privacy.”
“Oh.” Kazuya leaned on the wall. “Jin wants me to be with him again. Should I?”
Pi smiled sadly. It really was tragic what one mistake from the past can do to two loving persons. It had turned Jin into a desperate man and Kazuya…Kazuya still carries the scars in his heart. Throughout the time they were together, and even before, Pi had come to love Kazuya like a brother. He had also gotten to know him more. The man’s heart was a rare one - it was stubbornly innocent and pure. But even a heart like Kazuya’s can only take so much.
“You still love him, don’t you?” He stated simply. “I would tell you to go with Jin but I’m afraid at what it’ll do to you.”
“It can break me completely.”
Pi patted Kazuya’s head. Kazuya had already decided. He can hear it in his voice. “I’ll always be here to catch the pieces for you.”
Kazuya smiled gratefully at him and hugged him. “Thank you Pi. For everything.”
------------------------------------------------------
to be continued...
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I think I only have one or two chapters left to wrap this up. But we’re all getting to that happy ending. If you squint, you can see it. Thank you so much for everyone who is still reading this and I’m sorry for the super late upload *deep bow*
Author: isha_mabin
Pairing: AKAME, JinxOC
Rating: PG-15 - NC-17
Genre: Romance, AU, Angst
Disclaimer: I only own half of the plot and the original character Stephanie Jones, nothing (and no one) else
Summary: Everything was going well for Kazuya Akanishi. He had an awesome and drop-dead hot (not to mention rich) husband that loves him very much, supportive parents and equally supportive in-laws, crazy but otherwise loyal friends...and to top it off, he had just been promoted to being a director of the biggest interior design company in New York. His life was perfect. Until his husband's past came back to haunt them. And with this past, certain things are revealed and these things threatened to destroy the perfect life Kazuya thought he had.
A/N: Late again T_T I'm really sorry *deep bow* School started again and my subjects are demanding. I'm also busy with my writing job and I didn't want to force myself to write this chapter because it may come out rushed if I do so especially if my mindset is still set on the technical writing stuff.
APOLOGY FIC: My Solemn Vow
For those who haven't seen the trailer for this fic yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUvpQKiZcQ8
I'm sorry the quality isn't that great. I forgot to set it to High Quality when I was uploading it to youtube. I might re-upload it when I have time though but for now, I'd be glad if you check it out ^^
And thanks to harajukyuu for the wonderful banner!!!
Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Cahpter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13
Chapter 14:
The first thing Jin saw the moment he opened his eyes was his mother staring at him with teary eyes and a trembling hand on her mouth. It was like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
Jin was about to question if this quiet lady is really the same woman who shook the whole house with her furious yell whenever Jin was misbehaving but before he could do that, his mother broke the silence with her infamous shriek.
“You’re awake! Oh my God you’re awake!”
“W-water…” Jin’s throat felt so dry.
“Oh of course.” Jin’s mother hurriedly went to the bedside table and poured some water in a glass. She then gave the water to her son. “Here, be careful.” She assisted him in drinking.
Once Jin handed her the empty glass, she let her tears flow and she embraced her son’s head tightly against her chest the way she used to when he was a little boy and she was particularly fond of him.
“Mom, let go!’ Jin grumbled. He could talk properly now that he had some water but his voice was still quite hoarse. “You already rendered me deaf with your shriek. Are you going to crush my head too?”
“Oh shut up Jin. You know you took after her.”
Jin managed to turn away from his mother enough to look at his younger brother who just entered the hospital room he was in. “Reio!” ‘Help me!’ He mouthed.
Reio sighed. “Mom, stop suffocating Jin. You’re hurting him.”
Their mom immediately let go. “Sorry. I was just so happy. You scared us, Jin!”
“Thanks Reio,” Jin said, ignoring his mother’s glare. “And for the record, I did not take after her shriek.”
“If you say so,” Reio shrugged. He turned to his mother. “You should call Dad, right? To tell him the good news.” Reio extended his cellphone to his mother.
“You’re right! Take care of your brother. I’ll just talk to your father for a while. Oh he’ll be so happy!” Mrs. Akanishi took the phone and went outside to talk to her husband.
“You really are stupid, you know. To be stabbed by your husband.”
Jin looked at Reio in surprise. “You know about what happened?” His mind was still a little fuzzy but he clearly remembered the events leading to the accident.
“Well I think I deserved to know why my brother was beaten within an inch of his life and stabbed by a kitchen knife and why Kazuya had blood on his hands and a guilty expression on his face.”
“He didn’t mean it. Kazuya was just startled. I startled him,” Jin explained adamantly.
“Jin, you were beaten and stabbed. How is that unintentional?”
“I told you, it was an accident,” Jin insisted. “Does…does Mom and Dad know too?”
“No. They arrived a little later than me. I just told them you were mugged. I didn’t think you’d want them to know who really did that to you.”
“Thank you Reio. I owe you for that but again, it was an accident.”
“Fine. I wasn’t there anyway so maybe it really was an accident.” Reio’s voice though was doubtful. “By the way, your friend Tomohisa Yamashita left me this note when he visited. He told me to give it to you as soon as you when you wake up.”
‘I’m sorry I can’t stay. I can’t leave Kazuya alone after what happened. He’s not okay. He blames himself, Jin. If it wouldn’t be too much to ask, could you see him as soon as you’re okay? He needs you.’ - Pi
“Reio, do me a favor please.”
“What is it?”
Jin pulled the IV out of his hand, earning Reio’s gasp. “Get me out of here. I need to see Kazuya.”
------
“Kazuya, you need to eat at least a little.”
“Pi…I want to end my life...”
Pi was instantly alarmed. His cousin had warned him that Kazuya might have suicidal thoughts but nothing could have prepared him for this moment. What do you say when a close friend says he wants to die?
“It hurts too much to be alive,” Kazuya continued before Pi could say anything. “When I’m awake, when I’m asleep…it doesn’t change anything…I can still remember what happened. I can hear myself begging for them to stop. I can hear them laughing. I can feel the pain. I wish I could just forget…”
“Kazuya…” Pi brushed Kazuya’s hair away from his face. He knew Kazuya was ashamed of what happened to him years ago and there was nothing that Pi could say that will ever change that.
His words weren’t Kazuya’s healing potion. Pi wasn’t Kazuya’s hero. He just hoped Jin wakes up soon and be able to talk to Kazuya. He is the only person who could get through the younger man now.
“I even dragged Jin down with me. Just because of my stupid emotional scars. Jin is going to die and it’s all because of his psychotic husband,” Kazuya spat with self-disgust. “The least I could do is to be with him in death.”
Pi shook Kazuya’s shoulders lightly. “Listen to me, Kazuya. You are not psychotic! You are just hurting. You will heal in time. Your heart will recover. And Jin is not going to die. He’s fighting for his life and you’re not doing him any favors by dying. Do you want Jin to wake up and find you gone? It will kill him Kazuya. It will kill him more than a stab will ever achieve.”
Kazuya shook his head and cried upon remembering the state Jin was in. He was already physically weak because of Tatsuya’s beating and the stab had made it worst. “The doctor told us he might never wake up.”
“It’s not yet a sure thing,” Pi insisted. Kazuya needed something to hold on to. That was why Pi was hoping Jin won’t give up. He was hoping Jin would fight and open his eyes soon.
Because Pi knew the moment Jin’s heart stops beating, Kazuya will die with him.
------
“Jin, what the fuck?! You just woke up from a week-long coma! Your wounds may reopen and the doctor didn’t even get to check on you today!” Reio scolded while assisting Jin down to the parking lot. He had no choice however but to agree to his older brother’s demands because Jin threatened to go alone if Reio didn’t help him. That would be a bigger problem, if ever.
“Shut up Reio! The sooner I get to Kazuya, the sooner you can return me to the hospital. So just drive,” Jin retorted.
“Patience Reio, patience,” Reio muttered to himself as he turned on the car’s ignition and drove out of the hospital, occasionally glancing at Jin who was sitting on the passenger seat.
Jin, on the other hand, ignored his brother’s grumbling and looked outside the car window. He bit his lips worriedly. He was anxious to see and talk to Kazuya.
I told him it wasn’t his fault. I remember I said that before I passed out. Didn’t he hear me?
He remained quiet as he pondered what to say to Kazuya as soon as he saw him, only speaking once in a while to instruct his brother about the directions to Pi’s house.
“We’re here,” Reio said after a while.
The car’s ignition was still running when Jin got off.
“Hey! Jin, slow down! Your wounds!” Reio cautioned, alarmed at the pace his brother was walking - or more like jogging - towards the front door of Tomohisa Yamashita’s house.
--------
Pi was startled when he heard yelling outside the house. He thought he heard Jin’s name.
“Kazuya! Kazuya it’s me, Jin!” The shout was accompanied by pounding of the door.
Pi hurriedly opened the door for the man. “Jin, you’re here…Are you okay now?”
“He’s not,” Reio, who had caught up to his brother, snapped. “But he insisted to be here.”
“I’m fine,” Jin retorted. He faced Pi. “Where’s Kazuya?”
“Sleeping. His medicine made him sleepy,” Pi answered. “Jin, are you sure you should be here? You look pale.”
“See? I told you, you don’t look okay. I’m bringing you back to the hospital now!” Reio demanded.
Jin grabbed Pi’s hand and latched it onto his brother’s wrist. “Take care of my brother. My husband needs me.”
He side-stepped the two men and searched for Kazuya. He found him in the first room he checked. His husband was indeed sleeping but even in his sleep, he seemed troubled.
He walked closer and closer to Kazuya and knelt down beside the bed, facing his husband. He touched Kazuya’s cheek and discovered the tear stains on it. “You’ve been crying?”
Kazuya stirred with Jin’s voice and touch. When he opened his eyes, he thought he was still dreaming when he saw Jin kneeling beside him. “Jin, I’m sorry…You suffered because of me.”
Jin shook his head. “I told you it wasn’t your fault. Stop this self-hate now, Kazu.” He reached over and kissed his husband’s lips. “I’m here now. Safe. We’re together and I’m never going to leave you ever again.”
Kazuya’s eyes widened at Jin’s kiss. It felt so real, too real to be a dream. He sat up. “Jin! It’s really you!”
Jin smiled. “No ‘welcome back’ for me?”
Kazuya punched his arm. “Idiot. How can you be so nonchalant? How can you forgive me so easily? I almost killed you…”
“It was an accident Kazuya. Besides, do you think I’ll leave you alone after I finally knew what happened when you disappeared? After the hell you went through because of me? Not likely. I’ll stick to you like glue whether you like it or not.” Jin held Kazuya’s hands. “But I don’t want you to forgive me just because of this accident. It wouldn’t be fair.”
“I forgive you. I forgive you because I love you. Oh God, I’m so glad you’re okay,” Kazuya said immediately and threw his arms around Jin’s neck. “Welcome back,” he whispered.
Jin smiled and wrapped his arms around Kazuya. “I’m home.”
Kazuya pulled back and gasped when he saw Jin’s shirt. “Jin, you’re bleeding!”
Jin looked puzzled and then he winced when he looked down on himself. “I knew I felt pain.”
“Jin!” Reio barged inside the room. He immediately saw the blood. “Damn it! I told you, you shouldn’t have left the hospital right after you woke up!”
“What? You rushed here?” Kazuya exclaimed. “Jin! How could you be so careless?!”
Jin pouted. “I’m sorry.”
“That might have been my fault,” Pi interrupted. “I told him to come see you as soon as he was awake,” he said to Kazuya.
“Why did you do that?!” Kazuya nearly growled.
“You were talking about suicide, Kazuya!” Pi defended.
“What?! You were talking about suicide?!” Jin nearly yelled then groaned when it put more pressure on his wound
“Can we please all talk about this in the hospital?” Reio said, exasperated.
-------------------------------------------------
After a long scolding from his doctor, from his mother and from his father, Jin was finally allowed to talk to Kazuya again.
He had been anxious the whole time because there are still a lot of things he and Kazuya had not resolved yet. He had noticed the deep sadness in Kazuya’s eyes and he was troubled by that and the fact that Pi told him Kazuya was talking about suicide.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Kazuya’s voice broke through Jin’s thoughts.
“Like what?”
“Like I’m a puzzle you need to solve,” Kazuya said bluntly.
Jin sighed. “I hope you don’t get angry with me but I remember…I remember asking you why you didn’t tell me what happened to you more than two years ago. Why did you just disappear? You never did answer that question.”
Kazuya looked down. “I didn’t want to bother you. I figured with me gone, you would have started a family with Stephanie.”
Jin shook his head. “Didn’t it ever occur to you that you’re the one I married and you’re the one I love? Why would I choose someone else? Was it that easy for you to let go of me?” Jin’s voice was gentle but firm. If Kazuya had said he blamed him because of what happened, he would have understood. But this…
"If I stood a chance, I would have fought for you! I tried Jin…I really tried. I even made you choose remember? But it wasn't a fair fight from the very beginning. She had something that I can never offer. She's the mother of your kids. I can never compete with that." Kazuya looked at Jin’s eyes. “And to top it off, I’m tainted.”
Jin tried to sit up but his wounds hurt. It was only natural since he had been blatantly ignoring his condition earlier but right now, he was cursing his body for being so weak. He settled instead in holding both of Kazuya’s hand. “Stop this. I don’t regret having Miyuki and Eiji but I do regret hurting you so I can understand if you’re angry with me. But don’t ever talk about yourself as if you’re an object that can be discarded because of what happened to you. It was not your fault Kazuya and it did nothing to change the way I feel about you. I fell in love with a strong, beautiful man whose passion and heart was the best I had ever known. He’s still that person now.”
“Jin…”
“You know, that person took care of me even at my worst. He’d put me first always. I guess it’s my turn now. I want to take care of you, Kazu. Will you let me?”
“You’re lying in a hospital bed, idiot! How can you say you’ll take care of me?” But Kazuya’s eyes glistened with joyful tears, with relief. Jin didn’t find him disgusting, after all.
Jin grinned. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Then he yawned.
“Sleep, Jin.”
As soon as Jin’s breathing evened out as a sign that he was sleeping, Kazuya stepped out of the room where he saw Pi waiting.
“You didn’t leave, Pi? Why didn’t you come inside?”
Pi shrugged. “I thought the two of you needed some privacy.”
“Oh.” Kazuya leaned on the wall. “Jin wants me to be with him again. Should I?”
Pi smiled sadly. It really was tragic what one mistake from the past can do to two loving persons. It had turned Jin into a desperate man and Kazuya…Kazuya still carries the scars in his heart. Throughout the time they were together, and even before, Pi had come to love Kazuya like a brother. He had also gotten to know him more. The man’s heart was a rare one - it was stubbornly innocent and pure. But even a heart like Kazuya’s can only take so much.
“You still love him, don’t you?” He stated simply. “I would tell you to go with Jin but I’m afraid at what it’ll do to you.”
“It can break me completely.”
Pi patted Kazuya’s head. Kazuya had already decided. He can hear it in his voice. “I’ll always be here to catch the pieces for you.”
Kazuya smiled gratefully at him and hugged him. “Thank you Pi. For everything.”
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to be continued...
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I think I only have one or two chapters left to wrap this up. But we’re all getting to that happy ending. If you squint, you can see it. Thank you so much for everyone who is still reading this and I’m sorry for the super late upload *deep bow*