(no subject)
She asked me..."Did I ruin your life? When we had the kids, did I ruin your life? You....you don't look as happy as you used to." Conversations like this remind me of the guilt she has. Over everything. The separation. The divorce. Having children at such a young age.
I can't say I haven't thought about it at length. I have. A lot. Far too much at times but that is usually the case with everything. There were times when I would have said yes. Or my brain would have screamed yes when I said no. Now is not that time. I'm no longer that person. No regrets is something I am constantly reminding myself to think of. Live life and regret very little. Unless you're a horrid person. Then regret every chance you have. This not being the case well I'll regret very little.
I responded
"No, it's not you. You haven't done a thing. Rest easy with the knowledge it's not you. There's other things right now." It's true. While they are not anywhere near that magnitude or the scope of such circumstances, well at times even the slightest of problems seem to be greater than the past trials one encounters. I will never regret my children, and I told her that. Ever. I don't care how difficult it seems , how hard it is for the person. Never regret something you bring into this world. Especially a life.
Yes, they make my life difficult at times. Yes, I don't get a lot of free time to myself. Yes it bothers me that a great deal of people my age would not date a man with two children. BUT I love them. I love being with them. Taking them to museums, Central Park and Prospect Park in the summertime. Feeding ducks, watching kites fly in the air. Walking around with them, just walking. I couldn't picture my life any other way. Frankly I don't want to.
Circumstances are different for everyone. Mine are very unique. It is a matter of perspective. Most things are.
M. Rachansky
I can't say I haven't thought about it at length. I have. A lot. Far too much at times but that is usually the case with everything. There were times when I would have said yes. Or my brain would have screamed yes when I said no. Now is not that time. I'm no longer that person. No regrets is something I am constantly reminding myself to think of. Live life and regret very little. Unless you're a horrid person. Then regret every chance you have. This not being the case well I'll regret very little.
I responded
"No, it's not you. You haven't done a thing. Rest easy with the knowledge it's not you. There's other things right now." It's true. While they are not anywhere near that magnitude or the scope of such circumstances, well at times even the slightest of problems seem to be greater than the past trials one encounters. I will never regret my children, and I told her that. Ever. I don't care how difficult it seems , how hard it is for the person. Never regret something you bring into this world. Especially a life.
Yes, they make my life difficult at times. Yes, I don't get a lot of free time to myself. Yes it bothers me that a great deal of people my age would not date a man with two children. BUT I love them. I love being with them. Taking them to museums, Central Park and Prospect Park in the summertime. Feeding ducks, watching kites fly in the air. Walking around with them, just walking. I couldn't picture my life any other way. Frankly I don't want to.
Circumstances are different for everyone. Mine are very unique. It is a matter of perspective. Most things are.
M. Rachansky