Wow I wrote something...
FYI. For those who didn't know... As in those not in the fam... My Grandmother passed away at 93...
Tuesday, July 19, 2005 \ Time: 9:04 P.M. \ Mood: dirty. \ Song: Announcement.
Today was... First day back at the hospital. First saw Andrew. He said sorry, ask who's Mom, how she was doing. Afterward people were pretty much asking if I was OK. Jackie... She definitely seemed annoyed. But then again I always get that impression. She was like no patient? Gave me one and first new admit.
Then my God I was busy. Had admit. Took forever for Rahman to see. Had I known I didn't have to wait... Nurses complaining no orders, no diet... Went down to CT, so I couldn't finish. Time flies. Sign out rounds. Haven't written note yet. Finish up. Dr. Reese has a new admit. Wait for another attending. Dr. Prescott doesn't do it till mornings... Sign it out. Dr. Reese eventually signs my stuff. Got out at 8:30.
My CC was declined. Had to pay for train with cash. 107.50. Had to use emergency 100.
Time: 9:48 P.M. / Mood: sad. / Song: Cellphone.
It's sad to get sad when someone mentions Bellevue or Coler/Goldwater. A few patients are being transferred there.
Seriously, I so want to cry. At times, I get epiphanies... OMG... She's gone. God... I should have said something... But then again, it's only prolonging the inevitable. 1 more day? 1 more week? They are glad she went on a religiously significant day, last day of the Fatima apparitions. It's 1 month after her birthday today.
Time: 10:10 P.M.
Farmingdale station... I want to visit my Grandmother.
Time: 11:16 P.M.
Home. Eating. I almost asked Mom how Grandma was.
Thursday, July 21, 2005 \ Time: 8: 16 P.M. \ Mood: thoughtful. \ Song: All I Ask Of You - John Bowles and Lisa Crosato. \ Book: LJ Entires.
Was on call yesterday. OMG it was crazy... Poor John. First off he was discharging people all day. Missed sign out rounds. Then OMG... All his patients had probs. I mean, he had 5 and a new admit. 1 patient that was supposed to be d/c'd went nuts. Then another started bleeding. Got transfered to MICU. Took forever to do his new admit. I helped him with a few blood draws. He'd try once, get discouraged and get me to finish up. Even when I was post call I was helping him out. Mostly cause I was bored all night / I was waiting for Dad to show. I just made a few calls to radiology. It's kinda scary... Cause I'm not the most... Confident / most... experienced in the group and I'm taking someone whose worst off than me under my wing... At least he's got the help of the people in his group. No one really did that for me. It was more the seniors. I don't feel togetherness in my group.
Lol. Me and Vanessa tag teamed an admission. I was put as the one who admitted and I have no clue of this person's history. We're gonna hand it off to Dave cause he speaks French.
Oh yeah, I finally met with Shirleene. I had missed 4 days. She's like I have to make it up afterward cause if I make it up now I'd be on call every other day. I don't mind. I told that to Catherine. Now she's like why even make it up? Danielle missed 2 days and didn't have to make it up, but then again she didn't go to Shirleene. Everyone thinks it's crazy I have to make it up for a death in the fam. Me... I don't care. I hope they do the same for anyone who has a death. As in let them out. Then Catherine was like I had to take care of you patient on day, like blaming me in a sense. I told the on call team to tell people I wouldn't be in till Tuesday. No one passed the word. Not my fault.
OK, durlxnemesis asked for memories of Grandma... I have a lot. Like I was in the shower thinking of Grandma and her cup cakes and jello. Hearing a toaster pop and remembering her breakfast of toast and plantains. Remembering her telling me she was saving money so she and I can move out together... How she'd give me money, then later slip some more under the table for me. How she'd give me money for chocolate. Cadbury... How she'd keep cookies and chocolate in a tin under her bed. How she'd make me chocolate before bed. How she'd play cards and watch TV in bed... How we'd pray and have to go by her count. How we'd have to wake her after every one. How she'd do laundry, walk in the garden, gather strawberries and apples and make stuff. Her pie... How I accidently scared her cause I thought 7500centfish was in the bathroom and not her. I jumped out of the corner... How I had a morning hallucination and thought she was a pile of clothes and knocked the wind out of her when I tried to wrap my legs around it. How she'd wake me up in the morning sewing. How she turned my favorite pajamas into lining for my favorite blanket. How she'd make clothes. Embroidery. How I'd steal that string to make friendship bracelets when they were in. How she got freaked out my grey elephant was in the laundry cause she thought it was Charcoal (the cat). How she'd sneak up behind me and wash my face / put shampoo in my hair. How she laughed at geebs's pictures and at True Lies. How she cried when she walked into Grandpa's room after his death... How smart she was, even toward the end.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005 \ Time: 9:04 P.M. \ Mood: dirty. \ Song: Announcement.
Today was... First day back at the hospital. First saw Andrew. He said sorry, ask who's Mom, how she was doing. Afterward people were pretty much asking if I was OK. Jackie... She definitely seemed annoyed. But then again I always get that impression. She was like no patient? Gave me one and first new admit.
Then my God I was busy. Had admit. Took forever for Rahman to see. Had I known I didn't have to wait... Nurses complaining no orders, no diet... Went down to CT, so I couldn't finish. Time flies. Sign out rounds. Haven't written note yet. Finish up. Dr. Reese has a new admit. Wait for another attending. Dr. Prescott doesn't do it till mornings... Sign it out. Dr. Reese eventually signs my stuff. Got out at 8:30.
My CC was declined. Had to pay for train with cash. 107.50. Had to use emergency 100.
Time: 9:48 P.M. / Mood: sad. / Song: Cellphone.
It's sad to get sad when someone mentions Bellevue or Coler/Goldwater. A few patients are being transferred there.
Seriously, I so want to cry. At times, I get epiphanies... OMG... She's gone. God... I should have said something... But then again, it's only prolonging the inevitable. 1 more day? 1 more week? They are glad she went on a religiously significant day, last day of the Fatima apparitions. It's 1 month after her birthday today.
Time: 10:10 P.M.
Farmingdale station... I want to visit my Grandmother.
Time: 11:16 P.M.
Home. Eating. I almost asked Mom how Grandma was.
Thursday, July 21, 2005 \ Time: 8: 16 P.M. \ Mood: thoughtful. \ Song: All I Ask Of You - John Bowles and Lisa Crosato. \ Book: LJ Entires.
Was on call yesterday. OMG it was crazy... Poor John. First off he was discharging people all day. Missed sign out rounds. Then OMG... All his patients had probs. I mean, he had 5 and a new admit. 1 patient that was supposed to be d/c'd went nuts. Then another started bleeding. Got transfered to MICU. Took forever to do his new admit. I helped him with a few blood draws. He'd try once, get discouraged and get me to finish up. Even when I was post call I was helping him out. Mostly cause I was bored all night / I was waiting for Dad to show. I just made a few calls to radiology. It's kinda scary... Cause I'm not the most... Confident / most... experienced in the group and I'm taking someone whose worst off than me under my wing... At least he's got the help of the people in his group. No one really did that for me. It was more the seniors. I don't feel togetherness in my group.
Lol. Me and Vanessa tag teamed an admission. I was put as the one who admitted and I have no clue of this person's history. We're gonna hand it off to Dave cause he speaks French.
Oh yeah, I finally met with Shirleene. I had missed 4 days. She's like I have to make it up afterward cause if I make it up now I'd be on call every other day. I don't mind. I told that to Catherine. Now she's like why even make it up? Danielle missed 2 days and didn't have to make it up, but then again she didn't go to Shirleene. Everyone thinks it's crazy I have to make it up for a death in the fam. Me... I don't care. I hope they do the same for anyone who has a death. As in let them out. Then Catherine was like I had to take care of you patient on day, like blaming me in a sense. I told the on call team to tell people I wouldn't be in till Tuesday. No one passed the word. Not my fault.
OK, durlxnemesis asked for memories of Grandma... I have a lot. Like I was in the shower thinking of Grandma and her cup cakes and jello. Hearing a toaster pop and remembering her breakfast of toast and plantains. Remembering her telling me she was saving money so she and I can move out together... How she'd give me money, then later slip some more under the table for me. How she'd give me money for chocolate. Cadbury... How she'd keep cookies and chocolate in a tin under her bed. How she'd make me chocolate before bed. How she'd play cards and watch TV in bed... How we'd pray and have to go by her count. How we'd have to wake her after every one. How she'd do laundry, walk in the garden, gather strawberries and apples and make stuff. Her pie... How I accidently scared her cause I thought 7500centfish was in the bathroom and not her. I jumped out of the corner... How I had a morning hallucination and thought she was a pile of clothes and knocked the wind out of her when I tried to wrap my legs around it. How she'd wake me up in the morning sewing. How she turned my favorite pajamas into lining for my favorite blanket. How she'd make clothes. Embroidery. How I'd steal that string to make friendship bracelets when they were in. How she got freaked out my grey elephant was in the laundry cause she thought it was Charcoal (the cat). How she'd sneak up behind me and wash my face / put shampoo in my hair. How she laughed at geebs's pictures and at True Lies. How she cried when she walked into Grandpa's room after his death... How smart she was, even toward the end.