Stress
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
5:42 P.M.
Mood: Hungry.
Song: Chewing.
Ugh... I'm so stressed out right now. I was sitting in class stressing over my little 5% case report. Couldn't concentrate. Between class went to the library and emailed the prof asking if I can go to the hospital and do it again. After doing that I was getting stressed out that I got the wording wrong or something, like him thinking I want to do the whole hosp thing again instead of the history. Anyway, got somewhat better as class went along.
It was practically all pharm today. Babinni... Imagine listening to a lecture on unpronounceable drugs... in Italian... He kept calling Vitamin K, Vitamin Key. At one point he actually said K right and corrected himself to key. Pharm makes me scared of taking any drug. Afraid of the smallest little side effect.
Between class, while I was filling up my water bottle, this girl was talking to another saying days are long, have barely time to study, take a nap, wake up it's 8. Gonna have to sleep in 3 hours. OMG... That's me! Even more stressed about the time. One day I want to bring my comp into school and get all the files on CD in the library. But tomorrow I've got ICM lab. I don't want to be lugging around my ICM kit, my books and my comp. Then when can I go to the hospital. I don't want to go on Tuesday cause some other group will be there. There's the weekend.
Between class when I sent of my little email I saw Chris studying Anatomy flash cards. Interesting... Lol. I should stop looking for confirmation they are just in 2nd semester. Anyway, thought what if I had been friends with them? I could have failed myself. Eh... I'd still be a semester a head of them. OMG... In this school I'm a "year" ahead of them...
Anyway, decided to fiddle with my comp while I eat to get it over and done with. Also so I don't read and don't watch a movie. Didn't want to study cause I'd be focusing more on eating than studying.
7:46 P.M.
Mood: Pissed off.
Song: The theme to M&C.
Listening to this part of the song which is actually a classical song on it's own. Anyway, getting pissed off... So I wrote a message on an M&C board asking what they thought of Ho Ho. Ugh... I get not liking the guy. But now they are nitpicking the series. No recoil, no splintering, the boats are too pretty for battle. My personal fav... Horatio looks too old to be a midshipman. It's seriously turning me against M&C or at least that group...
Anyway, was working on Rheumatic Heart Disease. Mom said we had rheumatic fever. Now only 3% of people get the heart disease cause of treating a strept throat. I had thought I've never had strept throat, or at least never went running to mommy when my throat hurt. So maybe my numerous sore throats will eventually lead to rheumatic heart disease. It says it can impair function decades later. So who knows... maybe my... the M word, is an early manifestation of my impending death from mitral stenosis which causes left atrial dilation, which causes stasis of blood, thrombus and emboli, strokes and arrhythmias. I think... Oh yeah, plus on subsequent infections of strept throat you're more likely to have reactivations... What that means exactly I have no clue. Reinflammations? Further damage?
8:13 P.M.
Mood: Amused.
Song: La Boccherini la Musica Notturna Delle Strade Di Madrid No. 6, Op. 30
Butt hole. Lol. Reading about mitral valve stenosis and misread Button Hole! My God... I'm losing it. And I've only been at it for... 31 minutes.
9:07 P.M.
Mood: Sore.
Song: Folk Medley: O'Sullivan's March/The Cuckold Comes Out of the Armery/Mot...
I'd be getting so much work done if my back weren't killing me. Stupid posture / stupid chair that sucks. Stupid bed that makes me want to sleep.
11:43 P.M.
Mood: Nostalgic.
Song: Time After Time (Strictly Ballroom version)
Just remembered. This morning... I don't know, I guess it was a dream. I had a brief flash of Grandpa. He was dressed in shorts and knee length socks. Something I'd never imagine him in. But when I panned up to his face... Omg... It's Grandpa. He was with some guy, who walked up to another guy and talked to him. He just stood up to the side. Dunno what it means. Dunno why I had it. Hadn't been thinking about him. Geeze... How many years has it been? Like 11? Anyway, at least it wasn't like that nightmare. And where the hell is his butterfly knife?
5:42 P.M.
Mood: Hungry.
Song: Chewing.
Ugh... I'm so stressed out right now. I was sitting in class stressing over my little 5% case report. Couldn't concentrate. Between class went to the library and emailed the prof asking if I can go to the hospital and do it again. After doing that I was getting stressed out that I got the wording wrong or something, like him thinking I want to do the whole hosp thing again instead of the history. Anyway, got somewhat better as class went along.
It was practically all pharm today. Babinni... Imagine listening to a lecture on unpronounceable drugs... in Italian... He kept calling Vitamin K, Vitamin Key. At one point he actually said K right and corrected himself to key. Pharm makes me scared of taking any drug. Afraid of the smallest little side effect.
Between class, while I was filling up my water bottle, this girl was talking to another saying days are long, have barely time to study, take a nap, wake up it's 8. Gonna have to sleep in 3 hours. OMG... That's me! Even more stressed about the time. One day I want to bring my comp into school and get all the files on CD in the library. But tomorrow I've got ICM lab. I don't want to be lugging around my ICM kit, my books and my comp. Then when can I go to the hospital. I don't want to go on Tuesday cause some other group will be there. There's the weekend.
Between class when I sent of my little email I saw Chris studying Anatomy flash cards. Interesting... Lol. I should stop looking for confirmation they are just in 2nd semester. Anyway, thought what if I had been friends with them? I could have failed myself. Eh... I'd still be a semester a head of them. OMG... In this school I'm a "year" ahead of them...
Anyway, decided to fiddle with my comp while I eat to get it over and done with. Also so I don't read and don't watch a movie. Didn't want to study cause I'd be focusing more on eating than studying.
7:46 P.M.
Mood: Pissed off.
Song: The theme to M&C.
Listening to this part of the song which is actually a classical song on it's own. Anyway, getting pissed off... So I wrote a message on an M&C board asking what they thought of Ho Ho. Ugh... I get not liking the guy. But now they are nitpicking the series. No recoil, no splintering, the boats are too pretty for battle. My personal fav... Horatio looks too old to be a midshipman. It's seriously turning me against M&C or at least that group...
Anyway, was working on Rheumatic Heart Disease. Mom said we had rheumatic fever. Now only 3% of people get the heart disease cause of treating a strept throat. I had thought I've never had strept throat, or at least never went running to mommy when my throat hurt. So maybe my numerous sore throats will eventually lead to rheumatic heart disease. It says it can impair function decades later. So who knows... maybe my... the M word, is an early manifestation of my impending death from mitral stenosis which causes left atrial dilation, which causes stasis of blood, thrombus and emboli, strokes and arrhythmias. I think... Oh yeah, plus on subsequent infections of strept throat you're more likely to have reactivations... What that means exactly I have no clue. Reinflammations? Further damage?
8:13 P.M.
Mood: Amused.
Song: La Boccherini la Musica Notturna Delle Strade Di Madrid No. 6, Op. 30
Butt hole. Lol. Reading about mitral valve stenosis and misread Button Hole! My God... I'm losing it. And I've only been at it for... 31 minutes.
9:07 P.M.
Mood: Sore.
Song: Folk Medley: O'Sullivan's March/The Cuckold Comes Out of the Armery/Mot...
I'd be getting so much work done if my back weren't killing me. Stupid posture / stupid chair that sucks. Stupid bed that makes me want to sleep.
11:43 P.M.
Mood: Nostalgic.
Song: Time After Time (Strictly Ballroom version)
Just remembered. This morning... I don't know, I guess it was a dream. I had a brief flash of Grandpa. He was dressed in shorts and knee length socks. Something I'd never imagine him in. But when I panned up to his face... Omg... It's Grandpa. He was with some guy, who walked up to another guy and talked to him. He just stood up to the side. Dunno what it means. Dunno why I had it. Hadn't been thinking about him. Geeze... How many years has it been? Like 11? Anyway, at least it wasn't like that nightmare. And where the hell is his butterfly knife?