Listening to Matt Maher as my Post confession playlist!
But it's annoying me... I'm trying to upload it onto my desktop, but WMP isn't reading the album info, so if I upload it now I'm gonna have to manually add the info. I tried to listen to it temporarily though Amazon, but then autorip wasn't working. I contacted Amazon and it allowed me access to the Unlimited Amazon thing? But then the online version has 20 songs and not the CD version which has 10. So me being scrupulous... Like I don't want to listen to the 10 songs that don't really belong to me. And I'm not sure I can make a playlist with just the 10. Plus they're not in CD order. Ugh.
In other news... I already broke my CD case!
Anyway, as I said went to confession. I wasn't feel like I committed any mortal sins. But then when I went through my examination... Am I being scrupulous??? A lot of 1st commandment sins. Fr. I acknowledged when I said it had been one month. I immediately started whisper crying. Ugh... Once again he gave me 7 Hail Marys. He gave me that last time too. I don't know if I "feel" absolution yet...
In other news... Having a hard time hearing! The lawn people are here. As I said (?), Mom wanted them to cut down this vine which was swamping the back patio. So they did. They said they'd come Sat (today) to clean up. When we came back from the mall they were like cleaning the front walkway, asking Mom to move her car because they were cutting some tree. They then mentioned they would clean the gutter and cut anything that was touching the house. Mom then said she wanted every thing on the patio cut, including the 2 pine trees. I mean... I would have preferred they didn't but they said it's pretty much dead because of the vine. Mom said we would replace them, but I'm doubtful. She told them to clear anything that gets in the way as they mow. I gave 7500centfish a heads up.
Haven't been posting, but been having dreams.
1. And it's in bits and pieces. I remember sleeping downstairs and Mom wakes me up by trying to call me on the phone, like to test her phone. And I keep telling her I'm trying to sleep. I eventually just go upstairs to sleep in my bed. I'm then on vacation somewhere and someone makes a comment about "12". I'm with geebs and 7500centfish and the person mentioned it's a spoiler about like a Caprica spin off / talking about the 12th cylon model. The person walks away as if they didn't just ruin the series for us. I then remember a cat like clinging onto my leg as they were "suckling"... Like they'd have their head up against the corner of a table, like underneath where the leg meets the table and attempt to suckle something. While doing this they'd have their legs wrapped around my leg. At one point I'm laying in bed in the kitchen. I'm casually chatting with Dad about something. And out of nowhere the cat attempts to mount my arm as I'm laying there, but then they're like over my face. I scream out, "Bubba!", but then realize... It's a grey fluffy cat. So.. It's not Bubba, nor Charcoal... In my confusion I wake up.
2. We were in the city and 7500centfish was driving my car. At some point she was "fighting" with another driver in the sense he was trying to weave in and out and 7500centfish squeezed herself in to prevent the guy from passing. In the process she scraped my car against a divider. I immediately start screaming at her that she better get it fixed. She's then making excuses, saying she will get it fixed, but just paint over it vs getting the dents out. But I continue to scream, "No, you're gonna fix it!" I soon realize... We're both in the back seat and my legs are actually stretched out in her lap. And... Someone else is driving. Yet I'm still screaming at her. We're then at home and 7500centfish is paying some woman from uber (not the driver). It was like a weird uber thing where someone drives your car. I then whisper to 7500centfish asking if we can get their insurance to cover it. She and I aren't even sure there is damage to my car, so I go outside. It's now pitch black outside. But then when I get to the driveway, I see the driver backing up with a station wagon with a trailer attached. He stops the car, but I wave him to go. But he gets out and shows me the damage to my car. It's marked up with a wax marker, but the only damage is to the bumper. I begin to ask him his insurance info and he freely gives it to me, but then I ask his name for courtesy, but then he runs off and into the house. I chase him down, but then wake up before getting to the house.
3. We had random visitors over... I felt like Queens brought some people, like their townsmates and left them here as they went to the mall. They were sitting in chairs and I remember Michael (Lita Mia's kid) sitting in a chair next to them. I went up to take a shower and Tita Mena comes up to me realizing her shirt was inside out and she was laughing that her pockets were basically covering her breasts.
4. We were in some hotel... It felt like it was like a conference for Mom's doctor friends, except the Queens regulars, plus geebs and 7500centfish were there. But then it looked like my bedroom, in the sense it had the bunk beds and then a single bed. But then I had the old closet with the metal doors on 2 sides of the room. A group of people came in the room and was looking for space to unpack, but all my closets were full. Like they referred to them as my closets and my stuff in them. I then remember someone else trying to come in, but I closed the door, but could see through the door because parts of it were missing. I mentioned to 7500centfish that I wanted the door fixed, but not replaced. At some point we were sitting on the bed trying to figure things out and someone pointed out it was the right room number, but they were in a completely different building. So they all packed up and left. One of them told me to say hi to Mom and I said I would. Except... I had no clue who they were. I then just assumed when they see Mom they'd mention the situation so I wouldn't have to have said hi. I then remember sitting in Jennie's living room, except it was some sort of religious meeting. And they were projecting up and coming events at the seminary on the wall. I make a comment saying look at all the programs we could go to. 7500centfish then makes a comment that no one is listening or that no one cares. I then scream out, "I'm just trying to find someone to do things with me!"
Lol... I rescued my safety cone from all the debris. It was actually swamped by vines.
Read the "fine print"... It does say if you buy the CD you get the digital album for free and that includes the 20 songs, so...
Anyway, they came. I though we were gonna go to the cemetery. They asked me if I knew if the cousins were coming. *sigh* Like I talk to them... Anyway, if I had known we weren't going, I would have gotten my tires fixed, then my car serviced. But now both will have to wait for... I don't even know. Wasn't hungry so we defaulted to the Shack of Shake. Went to Harmons. I buy all my stuff online, but I was looking for alternatives. I recently bought Diffrin, a Vit A derivative. It was 15 bucks for a small tube. I wonder if my insurance covers it / if "Dr. L" can Rx it. Checked... Prior authorization is needed for someone my age. Ugh.
Mom has some thing tomorrow. We almost went to Mass tonight, but... Yeah, that messes up my Sunday AM routine.
Finished the Mole. Let down in a sense... I mean, it was obvious to me Will was not the Mole. He seemed too eager to win the challenges. So in a sense he deserved to win. I didn't really have a "favorite" in terms of who the Mole was. As I told 7500centfish, Avori was too obviously mole like to be the mole as well. Like... At least hide it! And... If she was the mole she should have kept Parnav around longer to shield her. As I said she wasn't even trying to shield herself! I then heard a "spoiler" when I was watching those commentary shows, saying there were clues to one contestant that they spotted on various episodes. But then when they had the "reunion show" they mention none of those hints. Just stuff in plain sight, minus her faces she'd make during the challenges that she did to sabotage. So... In that sense it wasn't a great season.
Got my Filet-o-Fish yesterday. The filet is looking thin!!! I wonder what else they've cut. But yeah, I wasn't even hungry, but I couldn't think of anything else to eat at home. As I told Queens today... If we eat at Shake Shack, I'll have to eat diner. And yeah... I don't know what to eat.
In other news I've been gaining weight.
Other notes from previous non posted entries...
This week's Godsplaining talks with Victor Sweeney. FYI... He's a mortician who did some online answer twitter questions. #CatholicSocialMedia noticed he had a Pappa Benny mug on his desk, etc, etc. Anyway... They discuss ghosts and the like. And... I find it weird. He says he doesn't believe in ghosts. And he doesn't really seem to clarify that. Like even one of the Fathers mentions the afterlife and a sense of the spiritual. One mentioning the women in is family saw apparitions of dead loved ones sitting on their beds before they pass. One even talks of Aquinas. I have to add... The bible mentions Ghost. But yeah... Like Victor then mentions like... A mother reading a poem for her son that died and when it mentioned the sky clearing, the sky clears. Or his friend committed suicide and his kid was gifted a type of hat his friend wears. Like... He attributes it to, not a ghost, but definitly something higher than him, the latter of which prompted him to pray for his friend. So... I just found it interesting that someone that close to death kinda disregards... I don't even know how to say it. Like human type spirits manifesting vs like things that are less concrete and can be attributed to coincidence.
Mom did an inverse Grandma! Prayed. Earlier than she should have, Mom said the Glory Be and I corrected her. She then said we were on the 5th Mystery, when it was the 4th. Reminded me of Grandma thinking we hadn't prayed or that we didn't say the right amount of Hail Mary's because she had fallen asleep or lost count.
Reddit post in r/Catholicism about the connection with Fil-Am culture / Catholicism. cc 7500centfish I was skimming it on my lunch break and... My brain seriously shut off once I saw "Filipinx". Like I seriously had to apologize to the OP because reading on I completely disregard the article. I said I would give it another try. Which I hope to do, but... I tend to get lazy. So who knows... I also skimmed a comment. In a sense it didn't compute for them. They don't speak Tagalog, but a dialect, so they don't frequent Filipino Mass. But the person thought the real issue is the lack of family life, with one parent being an OFW or a nurse and working odd hours, etc. The fact they stay in the religion had to do with both parents being active in their upbringing. Another thing they said that hit me was the Filipino club being nothing more then kids hanging out, doing drugs (not that part), but dancing to hip hop. Yes... I never got that about "Filipino Culture"... Like they'd always have a Filipino Dance crew at these Filipino conventions. Like... It's not even Filipino Cultural dance! Like I said, I skimmed... There was also mention of not dating till graduating from college, then they ask why you're not married. I lol'd... But... I don't know if it would make a difference with me. Like... I wonder if I am how am I because of upbringing or... It was kinda a 2 way street. Like... I'm distant so they are distant... Either way... I never felt "Catholic guilt", nor do I feel like... I don't identify... Like I never felt cultural pressure or associated such pressure with Culture of being Filipino. So in a sense I never felt like it's something I needed to run away from. Nor... Do I feel a need to run to. Like part of me feels like... OK it's not Filipino Filipino culture, but... I work for Filipinos, I'm always around Mom and her doctor friends. So yeah... I might have more to say when I read it. As someone pointed out the Filipinx was quoting someone and all other references are Filipino/a. I commented I'd try. So...
I asked 7500centfish and kumquatqueen what I should do re the extra songs... I mean, if one day Amazon decides to deny me access, okay then. I'd either have to buy the "Deluxe" edition at that point or just let it go. 7500centfish said either way, Matt will get his money. At this point I think I will just donate the difference.
Tweet.
Bingo is the farmer...
cryptic emotional status updates
In other news... I already broke my CD case!
Anyway, as I said went to confession. I wasn't feel like I committed any mortal sins. But then when I went through my examination... Am I being scrupulous??? A lot of 1st commandment sins. Fr. I acknowledged when I said it had been one month. I immediately started whisper crying. Ugh... Once again he gave me 7 Hail Marys. He gave me that last time too. I don't know if I "feel" absolution yet...
In other news... Having a hard time hearing! The lawn people are here. As I said (?), Mom wanted them to cut down this vine which was swamping the back patio. So they did. They said they'd come Sat (today) to clean up. When we came back from the mall they were like cleaning the front walkway, asking Mom to move her car because they were cutting some tree. They then mentioned they would clean the gutter and cut anything that was touching the house. Mom then said she wanted every thing on the patio cut, including the 2 pine trees. I mean... I would have preferred they didn't but they said it's pretty much dead because of the vine. Mom said we would replace them, but I'm doubtful. She told them to clear anything that gets in the way as they mow. I gave 7500centfish a heads up.
Haven't been posting, but been having dreams.
1. And it's in bits and pieces. I remember sleeping downstairs and Mom wakes me up by trying to call me on the phone, like to test her phone. And I keep telling her I'm trying to sleep. I eventually just go upstairs to sleep in my bed. I'm then on vacation somewhere and someone makes a comment about "12". I'm with geebs and 7500centfish and the person mentioned it's a spoiler about like a Caprica spin off / talking about the 12th cylon model. The person walks away as if they didn't just ruin the series for us. I then remember a cat like clinging onto my leg as they were "suckling"... Like they'd have their head up against the corner of a table, like underneath where the leg meets the table and attempt to suckle something. While doing this they'd have their legs wrapped around my leg. At one point I'm laying in bed in the kitchen. I'm casually chatting with Dad about something. And out of nowhere the cat attempts to mount my arm as I'm laying there, but then they're like over my face. I scream out, "Bubba!", but then realize... It's a grey fluffy cat. So.. It's not Bubba, nor Charcoal... In my confusion I wake up.
2. We were in the city and 7500centfish was driving my car. At some point she was "fighting" with another driver in the sense he was trying to weave in and out and 7500centfish squeezed herself in to prevent the guy from passing. In the process she scraped my car against a divider. I immediately start screaming at her that she better get it fixed. She's then making excuses, saying she will get it fixed, but just paint over it vs getting the dents out. But I continue to scream, "No, you're gonna fix it!" I soon realize... We're both in the back seat and my legs are actually stretched out in her lap. And... Someone else is driving. Yet I'm still screaming at her. We're then at home and 7500centfish is paying some woman from uber (not the driver). It was like a weird uber thing where someone drives your car. I then whisper to 7500centfish asking if we can get their insurance to cover it. She and I aren't even sure there is damage to my car, so I go outside. It's now pitch black outside. But then when I get to the driveway, I see the driver backing up with a station wagon with a trailer attached. He stops the car, but I wave him to go. But he gets out and shows me the damage to my car. It's marked up with a wax marker, but the only damage is to the bumper. I begin to ask him his insurance info and he freely gives it to me, but then I ask his name for courtesy, but then he runs off and into the house. I chase him down, but then wake up before getting to the house.
3. We had random visitors over... I felt like Queens brought some people, like their townsmates and left them here as they went to the mall. They were sitting in chairs and I remember Michael (Lita Mia's kid) sitting in a chair next to them. I went up to take a shower and Tita Mena comes up to me realizing her shirt was inside out and she was laughing that her pockets were basically covering her breasts.
4. We were in some hotel... It felt like it was like a conference for Mom's doctor friends, except the Queens regulars, plus geebs and 7500centfish were there. But then it looked like my bedroom, in the sense it had the bunk beds and then a single bed. But then I had the old closet with the metal doors on 2 sides of the room. A group of people came in the room and was looking for space to unpack, but all my closets were full. Like they referred to them as my closets and my stuff in them. I then remember someone else trying to come in, but I closed the door, but could see through the door because parts of it were missing. I mentioned to 7500centfish that I wanted the door fixed, but not replaced. At some point we were sitting on the bed trying to figure things out and someone pointed out it was the right room number, but they were in a completely different building. So they all packed up and left. One of them told me to say hi to Mom and I said I would. Except... I had no clue who they were. I then just assumed when they see Mom they'd mention the situation so I wouldn't have to have said hi. I then remember sitting in Jennie's living room, except it was some sort of religious meeting. And they were projecting up and coming events at the seminary on the wall. I make a comment saying look at all the programs we could go to. 7500centfish then makes a comment that no one is listening or that no one cares. I then scream out, "I'm just trying to find someone to do things with me!"
Lol... I rescued my safety cone from all the debris. It was actually swamped by vines.
Read the "fine print"... It does say if you buy the CD you get the digital album for free and that includes the 20 songs, so...
Anyway, they came. I though we were gonna go to the cemetery. They asked me if I knew if the cousins were coming. *sigh* Like I talk to them... Anyway, if I had known we weren't going, I would have gotten my tires fixed, then my car serviced. But now both will have to wait for... I don't even know. Wasn't hungry so we defaulted to the Shack of Shake. Went to Harmons. I buy all my stuff online, but I was looking for alternatives. I recently bought Diffrin, a Vit A derivative. It was 15 bucks for a small tube. I wonder if my insurance covers it / if "Dr. L" can Rx it. Checked... Prior authorization is needed for someone my age. Ugh.
Mom has some thing tomorrow. We almost went to Mass tonight, but... Yeah, that messes up my Sunday AM routine.
Finished the Mole. Let down in a sense... I mean, it was obvious to me Will was not the Mole. He seemed too eager to win the challenges. So in a sense he deserved to win. I didn't really have a "favorite" in terms of who the Mole was. As I told 7500centfish, Avori was too obviously mole like to be the mole as well. Like... At least hide it! And... If she was the mole she should have kept Parnav around longer to shield her. As I said she wasn't even trying to shield herself! I then heard a "spoiler" when I was watching those commentary shows, saying there were clues to one contestant that they spotted on various episodes. But then when they had the "reunion show" they mention none of those hints. Just stuff in plain sight, minus her faces she'd make during the challenges that she did to sabotage. So... In that sense it wasn't a great season.
Got my Filet-o-Fish yesterday. The filet is looking thin!!! I wonder what else they've cut. But yeah, I wasn't even hungry, but I couldn't think of anything else to eat at home. As I told Queens today... If we eat at Shake Shack, I'll have to eat diner. And yeah... I don't know what to eat.
In other news I've been gaining weight.
Other notes from previous non posted entries...
This week's Godsplaining talks with Victor Sweeney. FYI... He's a mortician who did some online answer twitter questions. #CatholicSocialMedia noticed he had a Pappa Benny mug on his desk, etc, etc. Anyway... They discuss ghosts and the like. And... I find it weird. He says he doesn't believe in ghosts. And he doesn't really seem to clarify that. Like even one of the Fathers mentions the afterlife and a sense of the spiritual. One mentioning the women in is family saw apparitions of dead loved ones sitting on their beds before they pass. One even talks of Aquinas. I have to add... The bible mentions Ghost. But yeah... Like Victor then mentions like... A mother reading a poem for her son that died and when it mentioned the sky clearing, the sky clears. Or his friend committed suicide and his kid was gifted a type of hat his friend wears. Like... He attributes it to, not a ghost, but definitly something higher than him, the latter of which prompted him to pray for his friend. So... I just found it interesting that someone that close to death kinda disregards... I don't even know how to say it. Like human type spirits manifesting vs like things that are less concrete and can be attributed to coincidence.
Mom did an inverse Grandma! Prayed. Earlier than she should have, Mom said the Glory Be and I corrected her. She then said we were on the 5th Mystery, when it was the 4th. Reminded me of Grandma thinking we hadn't prayed or that we didn't say the right amount of Hail Mary's because she had fallen asleep or lost count.
Reddit post in r/Catholicism about the connection with Fil-Am culture / Catholicism. cc 7500centfish I was skimming it on my lunch break and... My brain seriously shut off once I saw "Filipinx". Like I seriously had to apologize to the OP because reading on I completely disregard the article. I said I would give it another try. Which I hope to do, but... I tend to get lazy. So who knows... I also skimmed a comment. In a sense it didn't compute for them. They don't speak Tagalog, but a dialect, so they don't frequent Filipino Mass. But the person thought the real issue is the lack of family life, with one parent being an OFW or a nurse and working odd hours, etc. The fact they stay in the religion had to do with both parents being active in their upbringing. Another thing they said that hit me was the Filipino club being nothing more then kids hanging out, doing drugs (not that part), but dancing to hip hop. Yes... I never got that about "Filipino Culture"... Like they'd always have a Filipino Dance crew at these Filipino conventions. Like... It's not even Filipino Cultural dance! Like I said, I skimmed... There was also mention of not dating till graduating from college, then they ask why you're not married. I lol'd... But... I don't know if it would make a difference with me. Like... I wonder if I am how am I because of upbringing or... It was kinda a 2 way street. Like... I'm distant so they are distant... Either way... I never felt "Catholic guilt", nor do I feel like... I don't identify... Like I never felt cultural pressure or associated such pressure with Culture of being Filipino. So in a sense I never felt like it's something I needed to run away from. Nor... Do I feel a need to run to. Like part of me feels like... OK it's not Filipino Filipino culture, but... I work for Filipinos, I'm always around Mom and her doctor friends. So yeah... I might have more to say when I read it. As someone pointed out the Filipinx was quoting someone and all other references are Filipino/a. I commented I'd try. So...
I asked 7500centfish and kumquatqueen what I should do re the extra songs... I mean, if one day Amazon decides to deny me access, okay then. I'd either have to buy the "Deluxe" edition at that point or just let it go. 7500centfish said either way, Matt will get his money. At this point I think I will just donate the difference.
Tweet.
Bingo is the farmer...
cryptic emotional status updates